[cille]

I think I found 'my voice' really late. And I think it happened gradually for me:

1) As a teen I sang a lot and took lessons and had bands and stuff. I remember the first time I expressed emotion through my singing, it gave my singing teacher goosebumps, she said. It totally surprised me, I didn't know I had that ability. I could never go back from there, I was a real screamorama throughout my teens with Aretha Franklin as main influence. And I remember wondering a lot about finding my particular sound, and worried if my voice just sounded like everybody else's. I guess I was often mimicing other singers at that point, and I was too insecure to let my own voice happen. But it was a great start for me, made me wanna be a singer.

2) I took singing lessons combined with Alexander tecnicque - a sort of body therapy where the goal is for your body to find balance and function the way it should, as opposed to the way you've forced it to work because of stress etc. I remember a particular lesson where I really found MY voice, it wasn't forced, I didn't try to make it something it wasn't, my body felt in balance and out came a clear beautiful sound I had never really heard before, and my singing teacher said: THAT is Cecilie's raw, basic voice, and that's certainly how I felt it too. It was my body and all of me making beautiful sound in a way I hadn't felt before, even though I had taken loads of lessons before and thought I had found a my voice, but it was never 'my voice', it was just style.

3) I had some rough times, matured, had to face difficoult things. Death, loss, hopelessness. And also life, beauty, awakenings. My need to sing and use my voice grew stronger, cause I needed to connect on a different way with my sorroundings, I needed to let things out. Singing made my life make just a little sense again, it became a necessity like nothing else. So the need to express myself through my voice made me find 'my voice', without really looking for it. Things had to come out the way they were and so they did, I couldn't not let it happen. It felt like this: I had to sing, or I'd die inside.

4) I got internet, and suddenly discovered the sort of music my voice could express itself in. The world really opened up to me. So many songs to sing, so much beautiful music to indulge in! So I finally found the means to express my voice through, and started making my own songs, and it feels more true and right than anything I've ever done.

Your voice isn't 'your voice' so much cause it has this or other particularly brilliant, unique sound. I believe it won't appear to you, if you're digging for it, it won't be forced. It happens when you let it happen without pushing, without wanting anything particular to happen. It becomes 'your voice' when it can sing your soul. It's not so much a sound as it is a matter of a connection between your inner life - your thoughts and emotions - and your sorroundings. When you find 'your voice' it's an experience of being able to communicate you to the rest of the world.

At least that's what I found.