when friendships collapse

[esten]

what do i want with this thread? it's up to you. you can all share your thoughts either bout your own experiences or you may help me figure out what to do.

i will start:

recently my befor oh-so-good friend "Marius" have started to crack. We have been friends for 6 years, and now it seems like he doesn't care for our friendship. It's always me who has to call him up, asking if we're gonna do anything... today for an example, i call him up, but he's at work so he says he'll call me back. I call him up at 10.30pm and he's rented a movie, gone to another friend of mine and not called me. it's not like he's forgotten bout me. or maybe he has, but that would be extreme, would it not?

There are two possibilities as I see it:

1. He's grown tired of me
2. he's a selfish prick

if he's grown tired of me i think it's really small of him not to say it to my face, and also i think it is wierd that someone just gets tired of a friend after 6 years. actually.. he's a selfish prick either way around. but what should i do?

[Magnus]

Hey esten!


I know how you feel. I guess there can be many reasons for your friend's behaviour. One thing is for sure thoughand that isthis:

Originally Posted by esten

i think it's really small of him not to say it to my face

I hope you are well!

[cille]

ask him! it may feel like a hard thing to do, and he might refuse, pretend nothings wrong, but...what have you got to lose? except you self respect, if you let him continue treating you like this.


dat's just what i think[img]smileys/smiley9.gif[/img]. hope it'll work out for you either way.


heja again [img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]

[Kristi]

I have had similar problems before... cille is right, the best thing to do is just confront him about it... you never know, it could be something bothering him about you, or anything else going onin his life,that is small and insignificant - and can be fixed if you talk it out.


Hope all turns out well!!! [img]smileys/smiley4.gif[/img]

[cille]

well yeah, or maybe he is not really happy these days - and maybe you can help... you never know...

[Enoch]

Don't let it get to you. Make new friends and move on.

[Louise]

yeah confront him...has anyone else ever wished you could break up with certain friends? I know thats a horrible thing to say but Ive definitely been in situations where I felt like people were taking advantage and I just wished it could be over.

[esten]

thanks for all the help! hm the thing is, he's most definitely gonna act like nothing is wrong..but i'll have to put pressure on him.

heja ja!

[Angela]

If you feel that asking him will get you nowhere, you could tell him that you have observed he seems to ignore you a lot and that you are disappointed about it. Tell him you hope his behavior isn't inadvertantly caused by anything you did and that you further hope he'll feel comfortable one day to let you know why he's acting the way he does. Be friendly. It states your case and puts the ball into his corner in a non-threatening way.

The issue hits home, as I'm one of these people who "grew tired" of my best freiend after ten years. It happens and it had nothing to do with my friend.

[Miss Pink]

can i help? i like to think im the forum helper. I helped tj and his heart break

[maccas81]

you know, i ve had the problem uve described before, and i think its just a fact of life that people outgrow each other....and when u realise that, its best to move on...its not nice, but its often less hurtful to move on than ressurect something thats dead.....it doesnt mean u wont still be friends, but the dynamics of the friendship will be different; less close than it once was.....and maybe youll resolve it, who knows? i only wish you good luck.....but if it doesnt work out remember there are lots of lovely people out ther who'd love to be ur friend.......right eskimos??!!

[Miss Pink]

Yeah we aint goin anywher fast we love each other too much to go

[maccas81]

well said pinky....and i'd just like to say.....i love you guys!

[Miss Pink]

where's ade when u need him to write u love song!!

[maccas81]

lets write one ourselves!

[Miss Pink]

ok ok.......


Eskimo's are needed to......


No thats crap


I love banannas....


f**k no!!! Help!

[maccas81]

i love my bananas, i love them so much....they dont grow well in ireland, and theyre pretty crap when ducth....well it rhymes, doesnt it?!

[Miss Pink]

I suppose but it dsnt say how we love each other?!


Hello helpthe clueless pinky!Edited by: Miss Pink

[GlttrGrrl]

So so many of my friendships have died over the years. But I still manage to keep a few old friends around. Anyway, friendship, just like other relationships change. Sometimes you need a break, sometimes you'll get back together, sometimes you won't. It sucks but it's life.


That said, can someone please move this thread to the Everything Else section of the Forum???

[maccas81]

here pinky, what about this???


i love my bananas, i love them so much, they dont grow well in ireland, and theyre pretty crap when dutch....i love more than everything including the kitchen sink, but not nearly half as much as i love my miss pink!!


pure genius!

[Miss Pink]

Originally Posted by maccas81

here pinky, what about this???


i love my bananas, i love them so much, they dont grow well in ireland, and theyre pretty crap when dutch....i love more than everything including the kitchen sink, but not nearly half as much as i love my miss pink!!


pure genius!

OH LETS RUN AWAY AND GET MARRIED!!!!!!! thats pretty good!!

[esten]

hm thanks guys.. oh and i'm really sorry.. i haven't noticed there was a everything else section on the forum..

[#Ian#]

Interesting fact. Ireland isthe worlds largest exporter of banannas.

[Louise]

WHAT? How is that possible?

[maccas81]

surely that would be importer?? and pinky....is that marraige offer still on?? [img]smileys/smiley27.gif[/img]

[Louise]

hey hey hey pinky-stick to guys your own age! Dont be picking from my pool!

[ali*]

lol, aw louise, I still love ya. any updates on your little 'situation'? [img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]

[Louise]

another drunken evening of innuendo on thursday. But MUCH tamer than the previous week. Im moving on though, it has to be done.

[ali*]

'go on now go...walk out the dooor.....'


oooh, and 'these boots are made for walkin'...'


and 'i don't need you any moore, no I don't need you any mooore'


hmmmm......i get carried away with girly power type karaoke songs....sorry

[Louise]

dont apologise i do too![img]smileys/smiley4.gif[/img]