Is lying OK

#Ian# · 11-11-2004, 03:35 PM

if it hurts the feelings of others but not as much as telling the truth would?

I'm in a corner right now and the urge to come out swinging doesn't seem to be the right one.

cille · 11-11-2004, 03:47 PM

i always feel more hurt if i find out i've been lied to than anything else. go with the truth. one lye often feeds more, and you risk ending up not remembering what's true or false, what lies have been told to whom, etc... it's just not worth it. inflicting pain is a horrible feeling, but it's temporary, and if you lie you risk losing your selfrespect and other people's respect - i'd say it's just not worth it. hold on to your integrity, it's all you have in the end.

Juzzza · 11-11-2004, 03:49 PM

No it is not!!! (I am lying [img]smileys/smiley17.gif[/img])

Only you can judge big man, as you know the person and the particular lie... If it's about their bum being big, go for it, if it's that their behaviour is annoying you and you want to unload, maybe chill out first and then approach it differently.

The truth is always easiest mate, as you don't have to maintain it... If you always tell the truth you can't mess up down the line... Also depends if you want to be known as an honest person, or someone who is conscious of other's feelings, but then you can be honest and sensitive.

samuelle · 11-11-2004, 04:15 PM

i would usually recommend the truth, especially in the long term - no matter how things work out in the beginning, the truth will eventually come out and it's bound to irk off some people. this also opens up the potential to hurt the same people twice - once with the lie and once with the eventual truth.

on the other hand, sometimes it's best to follow your instincts. if you don't feel like now is a good time to come out swinging, then you probably know better than anyone else.there is a fine line to walk in situations like this, but as juzzza pointed out, only you can safely gauge where that line is and when/if to cross it.

good luck.

marloes · 11-12-2004, 07:14 AM

tell the truth, just don't be blunt! By lying, or not being completely honest you're not solving anything.
I said it before, but I'll say it again, if you are honest in stating your intentions no one can blame you in the end if 2+2 doesn't equal 54! [img]smileys/smiley17.gif[/img]

reyvee61 · 11-12-2004, 07:32 AM

Be truthful,

There's ways to be truthful without being too hurtful.....

Hmmmm, unless you've broken a vow to some one, in which case it would have been better to be truthful before hand...

Patricia · 11-12-2004, 10:58 AM

One of the worse feeling in the world is the moment I realise someone has been lying to me.

Lies very often hurt more than the truth. Come on be brave, tell her the truth!

Nathaniel · 11-12-2004, 12:59 PM

the truth will out - but sometimes lying is done through necessity not choice.

Nathaniel · 11-12-2004, 01:16 PM

what even if someone was throwing you a surprise party and they had to lie about it so it wouldnt ruin the surprise - you wouldnt trust them - I dont think lying is that black and white.

I do think that lying to the police is ok

Nathaniel · 11-12-2004, 01:26 PM

[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]I'm sure youre not really - ok it was a bad example but you know what I mean

Nathaniel · 11-12-2004, 01:42 PM

what about lying to the police?[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]

are carrying any contraband? - I assure you officer I'm not

Nathaniel · 11-12-2004, 01:52 PM

i never talk to them so I've not had the opportunity - no actually I gave a witness statement for them once and was filmed by the bbc outside my old flat - I didnt lie to them then.

rosey · 11-12-2004, 01:54 PM

I was married to one for over 20 years .....I've been brainwashed

Nathaniel · 11-12-2004, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rosey

I was married to one for over 20 years .....I've been brainwashed

uh - oh - you said were?

#Ian# · 11-12-2004, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patricia

One of the worse feeling in the world is the moment I realise someone has been lying to me.

Lies very often hurt more than the truth. Come on be brave, tell her the truth!

[img]smileys/smiley7.gif[/img] Thanks for going into specifics when I went out of my way to be vague on this. [img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]

Hannah650 · 11-12-2004, 03:52 PM

What ya gonna do in the end Ian??

#Ian# · 11-12-2004, 04:37 PM

Don't know

indigoangel · 11-12-2004, 04:39 PM

i dunno the specifics of the issue here, but lying usually isnt a good thing even if done to protect someone because theyre not going to be very happy if they ever found out the truth, dont you think? its not always easy to be honest though.

cindy8219 · 11-12-2004, 04:43 PM

Tell the truth even if it hurts. In the end you'll feel better for being honest and truthfulland not add to the hurt w/ lies.

marloes · 11-12-2004, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by #Ian#

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patricia

One of the worse feeling in the world is the moment I realise someone has been lying to me.

Lies very often hurt more than the truth. Come on be brave, tell her the truth!

[img]smileys/smiley7.gif[/img] Thanks for going into specifics when I went out of my way to be vague on this. [img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]

[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img] [img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]

reyvee61 · 11-12-2004, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nathaniel

what about lying to the police?[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]

are carrying any contraband? - I assure you officer I'm not

Round here, that'll get yer head bashed in!!!![img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]

Life in the hood.......

Gazel · 11-12-2004, 10:11 PM

What about lying to your kids that santa claus is real, is that wrong?[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]

marina · 11-13-2004, 02:48 PM

i think it depends on the situation Ianbut generally the truth is better, i HATE being lied to, and if the case is a relationship....then the truth is always better

#Ian# · 11-13-2004, 04:24 PM

Ah but there is no relationship, and I don't want there to be one, I'm thinking that I need a beard (of sorts, I'm not gay).

marina · 11-13-2004, 04:40 PM

i like beards. anyway if thats the case then maybe a little white lie ain't so bad

#Ian# · 11-13-2004, 04:57 PM

No, dark glasses and a career in politics does.

A beard is a term for a woman who marries/dates a man whose interests do not lie with adult woman as cover for the mans actual proclivities.Edited by: #Ian#

#Ian# · 11-13-2004, 05:07 PM

Yeah, I guess they do then

#Ian# · 11-15-2004, 09:34 PM

Truth doesn't seem towork.

11-11-2004, 03:35 PM	#1
#Ian# Destroyer of worlds Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ireland Posts: 2,783	if it hurts the feelings of others but not as much as telling the truth would? I'm in a corner right now and the urge to come out swinging doesn't seem to be the right one. __________________ One day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea, but for now we are young let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see

11-11-2004, 03:47 PM	#2
cille creepycute Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Copenhagen Posts: 15,333	i always feel more hurt if i find out i've been lied to than anything else. go with the truth. one lye often feeds more, and you risk ending up not remembering what's true or false, what lies have been told to whom, etc... it's just not worth it. inflicting pain is a horrible feeling, but it's temporary, and if you lie you risk losing your selfrespect and other people's respect - i'd say it's just not worth it. hold on to your integrity, it's all you have in the end. __________________ Yeah

11-11-2004, 03:49 PM	#3
Juzzza Eskimo Regular Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Jersey Posts: 924	No it is not!!! (I am lying [img]smileys/smiley17.gif[/img]) Only you can judge big man, as you know the person and the particular lie... If it's about their bum being big, go for it, if it's that their behaviour is annoying you and you want to unload, maybe chill out first and then approach it differently. The truth is always easiest mate, as you don't have to maintain it... If you always tell the truth you can't mess up down the line... Also depends if you want to be known as an honest person, or someone who is conscious of other's feelings, but then you can be honest and sensitive. __________________ www.justinthorne.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Ninjas killed my family, I need money for Kung-Fu lessons'... homeless guy's sign, New York (May 2005) http://www.myspace.com/justinthorne http://www.myspace.com/jtintheshadows

11-11-2004, 04:15 PM	#4
samuelle care bear stare! Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,087	i would usually recommend the truth, especially in the long term - no matter how things work out in the beginning, the truth will eventually come out and it's bound to irk off some people. this also opens up the potential to hurt the same people twice - once with the lie and once with the eventual truth. on the other hand, sometimes it's best to follow your instincts. if you don't feel like now is a good time to come out swinging, then you probably know better than anyone else.there is a fine line to walk in situations like this, but as juzzza pointed out, only you can safely gauge where that line is and when/if to cross it. good luck. __________________ "I can hope, see? Even if I don't believe."

11-12-2004, 07:32 AM	#6
reyvee61 Eskimo Regular Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: United States Posts: 303	Be truthful, There's ways to be truthful without being too hurtful..... Hmmmm, unless you've broken a vow to some one, in which case it would have been better to be truthful before hand... __________________ My Music Reviews

11-12-2004, 07:14 AM	#5
marloes Eskimo Regular Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Netherlands Posts: 1,838	tell the truth, just don't be blunt! By lying, or not being completely honest you're not solving anything. I said it before, but I'll say it again, if you are honest in stating your intentions no one can blame you in the end if 2+2 doesn't equal 54! [img]smileys/smiley17.gif[/img]

11-12-2004, 10:58 AM	#7
Patricia Eskimo Regular Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 3,213	One of the worse feeling in the world is the moment I realise someone has been lying to me. Lies very often hurt more than the truth. Come on be brave, tell her the truth! __________________ "To do is to be" - Nietzsche "To be is to do" - Kant "Do be do be do" - Sinatra

11-12-2004, 12:59 PM	#8
Nathaniel Debauched Eskimo Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: England Posts: 1,999	the truth will out - but sometimes lying is done through necessity not choice. __________________ I want to say Thanks for your grace And your ability to take my weight When I lean on you Your skin is so true I guess I just miss you

11-12-2004, 01:16 PM	#9
Nathaniel Debauched Eskimo Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: England Posts: 1,999	what even if someone was throwing you a surprise party and they had to lie about it so it wouldnt ruin the surprise - you wouldnt trust them - I dont think lying is that black and white. I do think that lying to the police is ok __________________ I want to say Thanks for your grace And your ability to take my weight When I lean on you Your skin is so true I guess I just miss you

11-12-2004, 01:26 PM	#10
Nathaniel Debauched Eskimo Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: England Posts: 1,999	[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]I'm sure youre not really - ok it was a bad example but you know what I mean __________________ I want to say Thanks for your grace And your ability to take my weight When I lean on you Your skin is so true I guess I just miss you

11-12-2004, 01:42 PM	#11
Nathaniel Debauched Eskimo Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: England Posts: 1,999	what about lying to the police?[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img] are carrying any contraband? - I assure you officer I'm not __________________ I want to say Thanks for your grace And your ability to take my weight When I lean on you Your skin is so true I guess I just miss you

11-12-2004, 01:52 PM	#12
Nathaniel Debauched Eskimo Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: England Posts: 1,999	i never talk to them so I've not had the opportunity - no actually I gave a witness statement for them once and was filmed by the bbc outside my old flat - I didnt lie to them then. __________________ I want to say Thanks for your grace And your ability to take my weight When I lean on you Your skin is so true I guess I just miss you

11-12-2004, 01:54 PM	#13
rosey Eskimo Regular Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 300	I was married to one for over 20 years .....I've been brainwashed

11-12-2004, 03:52 PM	#16
Hannah650 Wee Wils Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Edinburgh, yay!!:) Posts: 1,584	What ya gonna do in the end Ian?? __________________ Friends are the people who bring out the beautiful things in you that no-one else looks hard enough to find

11-12-2004, 04:37 PM	#17
#Ian# Destroyer of worlds Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ireland Posts: 2,783	Don't know __________________ One day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea, but for now we are young let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see

11-12-2004, 04:39 PM	#18
indigoangel Eskimo Regular Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Ireland Posts: 893	i dunno the specifics of the issue here, but lying usually isnt a good thing even if done to protect someone because theyre not going to be very happy if they ever found out the truth, dont you think? its not always easy to be honest though. __________________ if you dream it, you can achieve it - if you imagine it, you can become it

11-12-2004, 04:43 PM	#19
cindy8219 Eskimo Regular Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 767	Tell the truth even if it hurts. In the end you'll feel better for being honest and truthfulland not add to the hurt w/ lies. __________________ A groan of tedium escapes me, startling the fearful. Is this a test? It has to be. Otherwise I can't go on.

11-12-2004, 10:11 PM	#22
Gazel Eskimo Regular Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: I really have no idea... Posts: 1,692	What about lying to your kids that santa claus is real, is that wrong?[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]

11-13-2004, 02:48 PM	#23
marina Eskimo Regular Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: London Posts: 3,411	i think it depends on the situation Ianbut generally the truth is better, i HATE being lied to, and if the case is a relationship....then the truth is always better __________________ lights will guide you home mark, r.i.p

11-13-2004, 04:24 PM	#24
#Ian# Destroyer of worlds Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ireland Posts: 2,783	Ah but there is no relationship, and I don't want there to be one, I'm thinking that I need a beard (of sorts, I'm not gay). __________________ One day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea, but for now we are young let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see

11-13-2004, 04:40 PM	#25
marina Eskimo Regular Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: London Posts: 3,411	i like beards. anyway if thats the case then maybe a little white lie ain't so bad __________________ lights will guide you home mark, r.i.p

11-13-2004, 04:57 PM	#26
#Ian# Destroyer of worlds Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ireland Posts: 2,783	No, dark glasses and a career in politics does. A beard is a term for a woman who marries/dates a man whose interests do not lie with adult woman as cover for the mans actual proclivities.Edited by: #Ian# __________________ One day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea, but for now we are young let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see

11-13-2004, 05:07 PM	#27
#Ian# Destroyer of worlds Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ireland Posts: 2,783	Yeah, I guess they do then __________________ One day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea, but for now we are young let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see

11-15-2004, 09:34 PM	#28
#Ian# Destroyer of worlds Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ireland Posts: 2,783	Truth doesn't seem towork. __________________ One day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea, but for now we are young let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see