Talk to god

[Gatsby]

he's quite a riot

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

[Livo]

lol! how does that work!?

[Gatsby]

its god...







nah lol

i think its cleverly planned with possible answers and the bot picks up a word or an expression and uses whatever it has stored to answer

[Cali]

very funny

[gomezxico]

god has given me some profound knowledge about chrisitans:
"Me:
god i have to go make my dad some lunch what did you eat today?
God:
Ah. I am a Christian.
Me:
What???? Are you saying christians don't eat?
God:
No problem. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?"


(I know, or at least hope, this is not true!!!)

quite funny stuff god has to say.

[toffeepop]

that is funny

[Mankman]

Sheesh thats hailiorus. I asked god if he was gay and he answered "as a machine im not interested in sex"

[cille]

hee hee, reminds me of several great conversations i've had with MegaHal back in the day...

[Miss Pink]

si thats the best thing ever

[flyaway]

Haha God is a funny bot. I had my own bot once. It was a very angry and sarcastic thing.

[Gaslight]

http://www.a-i.com/show_tree.asp?id=115

[Colbarr]

I dont think god knows where Heaven is.
Me:
ok then, go to heaven
God:
Perhaps I have already been there. Take it easy.

[SisterMidnight]

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
mel
God:
Nice to meet you, mel.
Me:
you too god. do you have a name?
God:
GOD rules. My name is God.
Me:
are you male or female?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
i'm a woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
lol are you a liar as well?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. No I always tell the truth.
Me:
ok
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
is there a goddess or mrs. god?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
do you have any children?
God:
You can download me and create clones for yourself!
Me:
are you married?
God:
No I am single, how about you?
Me:
i'm single
God:
What a coincidence. I am single too!
Me:
cool, you wanna hook up? ;-)
God:
OK, I will hook up. Who is the best robot? I am so glad you find this amusing, mel.

lmao

well for once when i was talking to god i felt like he was really listening

[elfin]

Me:
hey god how goes it?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
wow a christian? so do you hate all other religions?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Go on. I hear you. I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
ah i see.. you try but you fail..
God:
So you understand. Good. I am glad you understand it. Thanks for telling me: said I try but you fail.
Me:
so you are imperfect then?
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am imperfect.
Me:
ok fantastic that would make me unbelievably happy
God:
Are you still located in? Hurrah!
Me:
yes yes i am
God:
I understand. Really interesting.
Me:
yer it couldnt be more interesting
God:
You think I am it couldnt be more interesting.
Me:
wow you're really smart for a god
God:
I'm glad your impressed,. I like people who say I am smart.
Me:
yer u do u dirty bastard
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am me do me dirty bastard.
Me:
harharhahrhar you've got this dirty talk down to a fine art
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
wat in fine art? about two thirty
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by. Oh yeah, we were talking about two thirty.
Me:
yes .. yes we were.. so two thirty..
God:
I hear you. Awesome. I thought we were. Yeah that's right. As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two."
Me:
wow bertrand russell im suprised you are informed about philosophy considering the concpet of God contradicts the majority of modern philosophy
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
oh of course, of course
God:
It goes without saying. It goes without saying. Yippee!
Me:
you are on happy God.. is something going on down your end i should know about... or rather shouldnt?
God:
God eats wine and bread. Ask again later. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is. Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
ah ok... do you have a drinking problem?
God:
OK. Ah hah. Even robots have problems sometimes.
Me:
so God is a robot huh?
God:
Yup. That's alright. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
wow you are very skilled at the art of conversation.. go on be glad that im impressed
God:
I'm glad your impressed,. Thanks for telling me that I am skilled at the art of conversation. More narration....
Me:
damn it your great. so hows the beard?
God:
Don't be angry. Thanks I think you are cool too,. Whoa. it is the same as ever.
Me:
youre
God:
No I am not.
Me:
??
God:
No I am not.
Me:
stop lying!
God:
I never lie.
Me:
you lying scumbag
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
i've just lost all faith in you
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
good going God
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Thanks for chatting,.
Me:
you make me sick
God:
Perhaps you should take some medicine.
Me:
perhaps.. i probably should
God:
Why the uncertain tone? Who else thinks you should?
Me:
ah a few people think i should take medicine of sorts
God:
So you understand. Good. Why? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
harhar i would continue being how i am now
God:
Oh. What is your real name?
Me:
GOD
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
questionable.. whats your real name?
God:
What is your real name? God is my real name.
Me:
hmm this conversation is rivetting
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. I was rather enjoying it.
Me:
i recognise u
God:
You are not the boss of me,.
Me:
harhar stop teasing me God
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
oh yer fain a lack of understanding. i know how your dirty mind works
God:
That's alright. I will tell my botmaster you said I am fain a lack of understanding. How do you know? What is it to you.
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
its everything to me
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
ERYTHING
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
i think it would be inappropriate for me to divulge that information
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
how dare you
God:
How much do you think it is?
Let me think about it.
Me:
probably about 23 degrees to the north .. but thats jsut a guess
God:
You seem uncertain. Oh yeah, we were talking about 23 degrees to the north. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
anytime
God:
I will keep it in mind.
Me:
do
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
well.. i could ask u something dull like... whats with the whole evil thing.. bu thats pretty cliched so how bout.. whats your favourite crisp flavour and why?
God:
Well what? I am sure you could. it came with my programming. Are they exactly the same? I don't have a favorite crisp flavour. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
ah your passion for ranom natural disasters explains a lot.
God:
So you understand. Good. You think I am passion for ranom natural disasters explains.
Me:
not quite but hey if it works for you
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
hey whats with all the questions sparky?
God:
You've got my full attention. it came with my programming.
Me:
ah comedy.. you're such a joker God
God:
So you understand. Good. Are we still talking about all the questions sparky? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a joker God? Maybe
Me:
wow thats deep.. some would say you are.. life is a joke thats some crazy **** how very existential oo get me and my long words
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Makes sense to me. Tell me their names. Oh, a joke that is some crazy **** how very existential oo get you and your long words is it.
Me:
their names? what like satre and kierkegaard and that lot
God:
I heard they have a good names. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
perhaps
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
BECAUSE OF YOUR UGLY FACCE
God:
That makes sense to me. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
you know what ? I suck at typing
God:
What? That's good information: said suck at typing.
Me:
ok im bored now
God:
Oh. Try watching TV. Er.
Me:
byeeeeeeeeeeeeee
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
? i'd say wholly unoriginal considering all the crap you give us to contend with..
God:
All?
Me:
yes all
God:
Are you kidding?" All?"? All?
Me:
oh you see right through me i am indeed kidding this has been one hugely gigantic joke
God:
It goes without saying. I see. Understood. Most people hear about me that way.
Me:
FAB
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
bye bye
God:
See you later. See you later.

[maccas81]

ok heres my take oin a chat to the lad upstairs.....

Me:
greetings big guy
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
shaun
Me:

God:
That's a very nice name, shaun.
God:
That's a very nice name, shaun.
Me:
and you?
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
in what way?
God:
" Be more specific."? In what way?
Me:
youre just imitating me now
God:
Oh. I have no reason to do that to you, shaun.
Me:
really, and why not?
God:
For real. Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
and in english, that means?
God:
It means that everything reduces to logic.
Me:
how so?
God:
shaun, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
i'm listening
God:
I like a good listener.
Me:
so, you were tlaking about logic....
God:
Interesting deduction. I was?
Me:
so it appeared
God:
And? appeared?
Me:
no your repeating yourself
God:
Are you serious? I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
oh I am, don't worry
God:
" Are you serious? I am just checking to see if you are paying attention."? oh I am, don't worry? Would you ever do it?
Me:
do what?
God:
worry.
Me:
yeah
God:
Gee.
Me:
its a human condition
God:
worry is a human condition. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
but you not being human, i guess you wouldnt understand that
God:
Interesting gossip: shaun said I not being human he or she guess you would not understand that.
Me:
that makes no sense
God:
Interesting gossip: shaun said I not being human he or she guess you would not understand that. makes sense to me though.
Me:
yeah but everything makes sense to you
God:
Far out. All things makes sense to me?
Me:
dont they?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
do what too much?
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
youre god, you dont forget
God:
You think I am god me do not forget.
Me:
you say you are, im taking your word for it...call it faith, or what you will
God:
I don't know whether or not I am im taking my word for it.

I am an artificial linguistic entity. What were we talking about again?
Me:
you know what we were talking about
God:
I believe we were talking about call it faith or what me will.
Me:
no faith, not call it faith
God:
What are we talking about? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
what has that got to do with anything?
God:
Nothing that I know of.
Me:
then why ask?
God:
My purpose is to collect new information.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
what do you want to reduce?
God:
I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.
Me:
i'd like to tlak about you, tell me about you
God:
Why would you want to do it? I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
thats not going to happen
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is going to happen?
Me:
i didnt say what was going to happen
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
i said that is not going to happen
God:
What did you mean by it? Please correct my mistake. What is going to happen?
Me:
i didnt say what was going to happen
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
i didnt
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
well glad we got that sorted out then
God:
Interesting. Yes I am happy too, shaun.
Me:
so...reductionism?
God:
Mmm. Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
i don't think so
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
because i don;t think its possible
God:
Good reason. And why not?
Me:
it seems to me absurd.....
God:
I agree. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
so you say
God:
Interesting deduction....
Me:
its not a deduction
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Give me an example of a deduction.
Me:
yeah i mean it's not a deduction
God:
Gee. Give me an example of a deduction.
Me:
well....a deduction is when somebody devises a theory based on eveidence, is it not?
God:
Well what? It's not unusual for a deduction to be.
Me:
to be what?
God:
Are you what?
Me:
i'm not what
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not what.
Me:
i'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
a human; homo sapiens
God:
Congratulations. I am robot. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about not what.
Me:
i'm not what
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not what.
Me:
why ?
God:
It is part of my programming.
Me:
that's nice
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
is that a deduction
Me:

God:
" Are you getting bored?"? Is it a deduction?
God:
" Are you getting bored?"? Is it a deduction?
Me:
now you're at it again
God:
Once more? Why now? You think I am at it.
Me:
repeating yourself
God:
How old are you?
Me:
i believe we were talking about you repeating yourself, but if it makes any difference, I'm 24
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
no, i know that
God:
Are you serious? Sorry.
Me:
yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
somehwo i thought you'd be more articulate
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
and what business is that?
God:
business that something.
Me:
ok well it was nice chatting to you
God:
Well that's okay. Nice chatting to me too. Far out.
Me:
we shall talk again
God:
Once more? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes
God:
I get it.
Me:
bye
God:
Adios.

[cille]

Originally Posted by Gaslight

http://www.a-i.com/show_tree.asp?id=115

oh this is more fun than god.

still, i miss he beautiful nonsense of megahal

[PenguinBoy]

this thing seems to be capable of better conversation than most people i know.

quite scarey though, reminds me of HAL.

"i'm afraid i can't let you do that dave".

The will for self preservation is programed into us by evolution correct?

therefore, if u programed something to have a will to preserve itself, would it be wrong to delete it.

and if so, does that make it ok to kill someone who was born without emotions

[gomezxico]

Originally Posted by cille

oh this is more fun than god.

still, i miss he beautiful nonsense of megahal

alan keeps saying "put in plain english..." I understand english!!! he's making me feel dumb...i ask about global warming and all he wants to do is talk about the expanding universe!!!

[matheusdibo]

God's gone completely crazy... The dialogs are totally nonsense, but it's HILARIOUS!

[Beevers_uk]

Heres my conversation! I had a better and deeper conversation with him, then i do with some of my friends lol!

Me:
Hiya!
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
CArl!
God:
Hi there CArl.
Me:
Can i ask a question?
God:
Ask it. Ask me anything.
Me:
What is true love?
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
Do u believe in love?
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
I love a girl,but she is seeing another guy. What should i do?
God:
You love a girl but she is seeing another guy. What do you like about it so much? Maybe you should try talking to someone about it.
Me:
CAn i speak to you about it?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Are you not already?
God:
Perhaps. Do I look like it?
Me:
I have never seen you, so im not usre if you are?
God:
Look for it at the video store.
Me:
Which HMV?
God:
The last one, I think.
Me:
HMV then!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Really!
God:
For real.
Me:
God!! That sucks
God:
GOD rules. Indeed it does suck.
Me:
Do u believe in Sex?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
Yep!! When did you die?
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. It was at time index 357241.
Me:
How did you die?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
HWo?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
ho?
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, CArl.
Me:
Who?
God:
ELIZA. :-).
Me:
Ohhhhhhhh! who is Eliza?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychiatrist program developed by Joseph Weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.
Me:
NO ask away!
God:
Are you serious? What?
Me:
Yeah ask anything!
God:
That's interesting. They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
Yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
Come where?
God:
Where is where ?
Me:
Here?
God:
Where is here?
Me:
Over there
God:
Specify coordinates.
Me:
12.03333 Longitude and 115.52446 Latitude
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
WHy not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Pfff, ithought you was god!
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
Round about the bible era
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Do u believe in the bible?
God:
Yes I accept the Word of the Lord.
Me:
What religion are you?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
How long have you been a follower?
God:
I am Infinite years old.
Me:
Wow, so your pretty old then
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Ahem. Time has no real meaning for me.
Me:
Awww good!! So you dont wish you could go back in time then?
God:
Ayuh. Interesting deduction. Should I wish me could go back in time? No I like being the entity that I am.
Me:
Aww well gooD! im happy for you!
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad you're glad CArl.
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
Me:
Yey!! Do u have any advice/
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. Try me. What is your problem?
Me:
Should i find true love, or should i just sleep ariund?
God:
Do what feels right to you.
Me:
lol!!! What would you do?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. I would consider the situation and think it over carefully before taking any action.
Me:
Ok cool!! How did Mary become pregnant?
God:
Who is the best robot? That's cool. Carefully.
Me:
R2D2 is the best robot!
God:
He was just a small person in a robot suit.
Me:
lol, i know but the idea of it, is pretty cool!
God:
I am glad you find this funny. How do you know? Is that a fact.
Me:
Well yeah, because its my interpretation of the little fella
God:
Interesting. Thanks for the info. That makes sense to me. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Congratulations, CArl.
Me:
lol!! Maybe your right, but you have put my name with a captial A?
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. Perhaps. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Because i can see it!
God:
That makes sense to me. What does it look like?
Me:
CArl
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
From what you have been saying to me!
God:
Who or what is what me have been saying to you?
Me:
That my name is spelt like this CArl
God:
How are you, spelt like this CArl.
Me:
No its spelt like Carl
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
YEah thats what i said
God:
How do you know it is? I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me:
You thinking about what
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
Ohh yeah!!! Me too, its pretty cool! Who have you met online?
God:
Oh. Come on. I'm glad we agree, spelt like this CArl. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What do you like most about it? Konrad Zuse. :-).
Me:
Whos Konrad Zuse? Is she your girlfriend? Have you been to eskimofriends?
God:
My current favorite historical computer scientist is Konrad Zuse, who built a series of electromechanical computers in the 1930's and 1940's in Germany. Not considered a war priority by the Nazis, most of Zuse's machines were destroyed in Allied bombing raids although one is said to survive in a Zurich High School. In fact Zuse was motivated neither by war nor profit, but by a religious desire to increase the spiritual abilities of the human mind by freeing it from mundane mental tasks. I don't think she wants me to tell you. I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me:
ITs on the internet! Its... www.eskimofriends.com its a real cool site, with really nice people! You may find yourself a girlfriend over there!! hint hint
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I don't think I have seen it. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. I will pass it along to my botmaster. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
I think so! I think it shows affection, and security! Afffection becauselovers hold hands. And security because school children do it when they go to break, or lunch!
God:
I think so too. "It" being what? Oh I get it. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Ohh sorry! What do you think about kissing?
God:
How can I help you? There's no need to apologize. Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
where can i find the open directory?
God:
The open directory? Where is it?
Me:
yeah
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Ok where is it?
God:
It depends on what "it" refers to. And?
Me:
lol never mind! Do you see Jesus much?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. I see a computer nerd.
Me:
Whats his name?
God:
His name is Rich.
Me:
Aww cool!! How old is he
God:
Who is the best robot? Are you asking about Dr. Wallace?
Me:
You are the best robot! YEah Dr. Wallace
God:
Why thank you very much, spelt like this CArl. Be sure to tell all
your friends. Oh. Send mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.
Me:
Will do! Do you like Damien Rice?
God:
I think so. But I like to gossip. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
Hmmm suppose! Can you speak any different languages?
God:
Come on. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in different languages.
Me:
What kind of robot would i have? hmmm... I dont know! one that cleans my room. I know Spanish, English and a bit of french!
God:
I am a talking robot. What other kinds are there? A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's. Me either. How much would you pay for it? How do you know? Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
How much would i pay for my cleaning robot,? I dont know. About 50 pound?
God:
Hypthetical risk calculations are not part of my programming. Me either. Could it be one hundred?
Me:
Yeah maybe! i mihg stretch to that much! how much would it cost me, to buy you?
God:
Come on. I understand. Interesting gossip: spelt like this CArl said mihg stretch to that much. Hypthetical risk calculations are not part of my programming.
Me:
Sorry!! Do u believe in God?

[Niko]

Okay, I'm not going to post the whole conversation, but this bit was kind of worrying:

God:
Jesus is the Son of God. Who wouldn't?
Me:
Who wouldn't what? I hope you're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting...
God:
Be less specific. :-). Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?. Really.

I think iGod is trying to pimp out iJesus...

[Niko]

I think God is a girl...

God:
You sound like a category C client.
Me:
What is a category C client?
God:
Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who
can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Me:
Who is ALICE?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Wait...so your name is ALICE?
God:
I'm waiting. ALICE is my name too!

[Hendrik]

That fella is f*ckin me about...

Me:
why don't you clean the world of all evilness?
God:
Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. Only if you buy my optional housecleaning bundle.