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#691 |
Appreciative Minion
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Harlington, Beds, UK.
Posts: 1,695
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i like it! do you know what it's about? maybe you have a damienesque talent for writing music with wine.
did u read my latest ![]()
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Good eyes see nothing to shoot, Good Feet Feel good giving up good boots. Myspace - My Music - My Last.fm Profile- My LiveJournal - I'm Jacob |
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#692 | |
Intello
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Co. Donegal, Ireland.
Posts: 2,435
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jesus you cant have felt good writing that ![]() Its got a baby-sisteresque vibe. ![]() Keep writing because you've obviously got a talent
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Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did Got what I paid for now See ya tomorrow, hey Frank can I borrow A couple of bucks from you? |
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#693 | |
Esquimal Conducido Pasión
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: In My Sugar Coated World, Filled With Angels And Love And Happiness And... And You.
Posts: 4,421
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Yeah, you sent me it on MSN! I really liked it, very very angry, and emtional! Its like an eruption of anger, thats been pent up for awhile! DId you check out Jerry Cantrell - Anger Rising/Solitude?
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#694 |
Phono Vox
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ireland
Posts: 828
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guys.. as much feedback on this one would be much appreciated.. it's just written and i really dont know how i feel about these lyrics. for all i know they could be good... they could be really ****. your opinion is needed on this one!
it's called sweet sorrow.. Don't you see that through this whole thing I've been growing But I guess that through time we've over grew all these months and i still don't know where we are going, i really don't wanna burn this photograph of you. but you're still dancing to this groove darling, and my pride is so hard to swallow goodbye...'Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow' I've never written a thing that I didn't want you to see, I've never written a thing, maybe, that chapter just isn't in me. you said you'd love me, if i could tie you down, but there wasn't a rope strong enough, you still laugh at all my childish jokes, after i'd had a few powers and cokes... but you're still dancing to this groove darling, and my pride is so hard to swallow goodbye...'Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow' I've never written a thing that I didn't want you to see, I've never written a thing, maybe, that chapter just isn't in me.
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a goldfish only has a three second memory..that means if it takes a goldfish three seconds to swim around a bowl, everything is new...each time two goldfish meet it's like it's the first time.. |
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#695 |
Working on a Dream
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 146
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I wrote a new song last night entitled "Flowers Do Flow In Your Hair":
Click here to listen I've got this picture of you My God, you're beautiful I can see your smile there Flowers do flow in your hair I remember the days we had But now it's left me all sad That it's all over now Who we followed has taken his bow Oh, all the flowers in a chain Oh, all the flowers they don't change Still clinging on, still clinging on We're headed home and it's all gone These wings can fly us back But it's left behind my heart Like paintings holding on to death Oh, I'm not quite too prepared For what you landed on me Could make a blind man see But you probably don't give a damn But I want you to understand Oh, all the flowers in a chain Oh, all the flowers they don't change Still clinging on, still clinging on We're headed home and it's all gone I sing this song for you because I care Because I want to show you I'm not who you think I am I can be serious when I want to be As often as the rain does fall in our hometown Oh, all the flowers in a chain Oh, all the flowers they don't change Still clinging on, still clinging on We're headed home and it's all gone I've got this picture of you My God, you're beautiful Feedback'd be appreciated. ![]()
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... Last edited by Lazy Life; 04-07-2006 at 11:56 AM. |
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#696 |
Irish Eskimo by birth
Join Date: May 2005
Location: In the land of sleepy time tea
Posts: 189
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I wrote this song two weeks ago. The story behind it is when you have one of those lucid dreams, where you are just between sleep and wake and you fully aware that you are dreaming but everything seams so real it seems too good until something happens that completely brings you back to reality.
The name comes from a quote of the old man and the sea by ernest hemmingway, when he is struggling with the fish and he finally sees him and he comments on its sheer beauty. I play this song to a slow strummed G variation. A Glimpse of Vision Last night I had this lucid dream, With just this girl I love, and I. Something happened halfway through, And when I woke all I could do was cry. We went swimming on a summers eve, Just before the sun had set. We laughed and played in the clear blue water, Her face was glistening and her hair was wet. Then something happened happened I can't explain, I looked but she was nowhere to be found. In desperation I swam for hours and hours, But inside I knew my girl, my love had drowned. Last night a girl died in my dreams, It felt so real that I could touch her. I held out my hand, but she was gone, And now it hurts because I miss her. When I awoke, fear ran right through my body, I woke shaking in a cold sweat. I lost her in life and now too in my dreams, So I shed a few tears of regret. I sat up alone in my bed, And wiped those tears from face. I must have sat there for over an hour, Just staring at an empty space.......where she used to lie. Last night a girl died in my dreams, It felt so real that I could touch her. I held out my hand, but she was gone, And now it hurts because I love her. Last night a girl died in my dreams, It felt so real that I could touch her. I held out my hand, but she was gone, And now it hurts because I still love her. You know I do.
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we are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams |
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#697 |
Nathan
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lake Jackson, Texas
Posts: 9
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First i'd like to say to you, mr. penguin boy, that you sir are a genius!!! beat me is just simply amazing and makes me tingle like a little school boy on the first day of summer. ...
![]() called my little grey box (or is it gray? i never did know how to spell that) (Insert sweet guitar here) I live in a little grey box, with a little grey door, and little grey locks. I built it to be grand, with these little grey hands, you may call it ugly, but at least it stands. and i try to live my life, like a sailorless ship a husbandless wife. and the more i roam, the more im alone, holding this emptiness and calling it home. CHORUS so hold me here locked away but keep me around for a lonely day no i dont mind yea i'll be fine i'm just gonna need a little more time (insert even cooler guitar) and i cry to fall asleep but if thats what i want then it's mine to keep dont hold me now cuz ill turn around and run to my little grey box in the ground CHORUS CHORUS then the first verse again really slow and quiet........its neat lol just hope i can remember the words as im hoping to play it at the little gig thing in a couple days
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And as the world turns, I feel myself getting heavier and heavier every day... Last edited by natethegreat86; 04-08-2006 at 12:26 AM. |
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#698 | |||
care bear stare!
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,087
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a small plethora of feedback:
Quote:
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"I can hope, see? Even if I don't believe." |
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#699 |
Nathan
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lake Jackson, Texas
Posts: 9
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haha no, im not saying that at all...the songs a story about a guy that feels his only means of happiness is himself and nothing on the earth is strong enough to satisfy his need. a wife without a husband isn't a wife at all...thats a widow, but a husbandless wife simply means she's married to something else.......hmmmmmm thats a thinker
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And as the world turns, I feel myself getting heavier and heavier every day... |
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#700 |
Eskimo Fool
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Exeter, Devon, UK.
Posts: 175
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A couple of songs I've written and recorded recently (goto www.myspace.com/benbroommusic to listen) Opinions on the lyrics or on the songs as a whole would be muchly appreciated.
Don't tell me I can't cry Once again I'm just not me Please tell me who this me might be And I'm not here inside my head what you see of me is dead But I'm a man So don't tell me that I can't cry I'm a man So don't me that I can't cry I'm seeing circular straight lines With all of the problems laying behind I feel I'm standing two foot tall and my brain is bouncing off these walls I'm falling apart now So don't tell me that I can't cry I'm falling apart now So don't tell me that I can't cry All wrapped up inside my sheets Dunno why I can't just sleep Too much running through my mind Too much in front of me to climb And now I've lost it so don't tell me that I can't cry I've F***ing lost it Now I just wanna die And I'm not blaming this on you I just don't know what to do Tell me which way I should turn Before I self destruct and burn Once again I'm just not me Please tell me who this me might be And I'm not here inside my head what you see of me is dead _______________________________________ This Life I've been running round and up and down but still ain't found quite what I'm looking for And these good people cry and I don't lie and I can't hide someday you'll find me F***ing up somewhere But this life is just too rough and I'm just not tough enough I've been living all of these things these f***ed up scenes laying in my mind And I will be your perfect ear 'cos I'm not here So you can listen to yourself What a lovely voice But this life is just too rough and I'm just not tough enough Some might say that you are perfect but you're not worth it I'm not even gonna waste my breath And I speak my mind in full whilst you speak bull now I'm just not listening to all this sh*t But this life is just too rough and I'm just not tough enough For you For you For you ooooooh But I will be your perfect ear 'cos I'm not here So you can listen to yourself What a lovely voice But this life is just too rough and I'm just not tough enough But this life is just too rough and I'm just not rough enough. ________________________________________ Both pretty depressing songs. I tend to write more when I'm fed up, late at night after several drinks. Opinions please ![]() p.s On the off chance anybody likes them and wants to hear them in their original quality, which they aren't on myspace, then just let me know! |
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#701 | |
care bear stare!
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,087
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"I can hope, see? Even if I don't believe." Last edited by samuelle; 04-09-2006 at 04:51 AM. |
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#702 |
Nathan
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lake Jackson, Texas
Posts: 9
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haha yea i wish there was a way to make that little stanza more clear. its my favorite couple lines of the whole song because when you get it your like ohhhhhh you know that cool feeling associated with pretty much EVERY damien song......blast him and his perfectness........but anywho it definately needs something in the line or 2 before it to give it that setup it needs but my mind right now is drawing a big blank. but i dont want people to get the wrong impression about it cuz thats one of the worst things that can happen to a musician...
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And as the world turns, I feel myself getting heavier and heavier every day... |
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#703 |
Eskimo Baby
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
Posts: 5
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Similar to Fool, these are a couple of songs ive recently written and recorded (found at http://www.myspace.com/jamiegiacomelli) Any feedback would be great..
Cheers, Jamie Let Me Go Lost in time Reaching out for you Seeking more from you Than you can give And all the while Knowing just how far You’ve flown from me Distant sound Make your mark Floating memory Melt my soul away In to the dark And screaming out Seems to have no effect On this shade I call my heart In to the dark.. Open up those pretty eyes Take a breath, look inside Feel the need, striking deep Hear the cries, singing sweet Hum yourself a lullaby Fear the look, that piercing eye Thrash out wild, keep control Strumming heat, let me go Let me go In Your Mind She falls To catch her unaware Well fought Inside, the silver line See her Satin Glow Lie her Soundless fall Her doubt That clouds and poisons Her truth Those eyes, whisper mine See her Satin Glow Lie her Soundless fall (x2) She looks straight through And breaks in two She falls in half And breaks in two She takes my hand And leads me through This darkened world The cold that grows In your mind In your mind In your mind In your mind |
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#704 |
Phono Vox
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ireland
Posts: 828
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thanks for your comment samuelle. the powers and cokes line is a bit of a bollix to fit into the melody... im in the middle of changing it!
![]() here's some new lyrics again.. feedback appreciated.. In This April Rain and as the day made way for night, all fears disappeared with the sunlight, i wish i wasn't so simplistic and i wish you weren't as sadistic, i wish i wasn't so complicated, but most of all i hope it's worth the while we waited. In this april rain, I'm calling out your name, In this april rain, I'm ready to start this game again. i'll open the window, let the moonlight shine in, let it show the beauty of your skin we could put some brian wilson on, and remember the days we spent in the sun, there's no need to run and hide now its just you and i, everything else can be cast aside. In this april rain, I'm calling out your name, In this april rain, I'm ready to start this game again. Both of us will never forget, the very first day that we met, so whats the point in letting go, when you're the star of my show. In this april rain, I'm calling out your name, In this april rain, I'm ready to start this game again.
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a goldfish only has a three second memory..that means if it takes a goldfish three seconds to swim around a bowl, everything is new...each time two goldfish meet it's like it's the first time.. |
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#705 |
High-Five Eskimo
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: On the River Lee, County Cork, Ireland
Posts: 1,397
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is this a losing-your-virginity song?
sure sounds like one. i like it, nice chorus. ![]()
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Ireland For Ron Paul "Don't worry, ma'am...I've got permits for these." -The Todd "For everything that's lovely is But a brief, dreamy, kind delight." -William Butler Yeats (1865-1939), Irish poet, playwright |
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#706 |
Phono Vox
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ireland
Posts: 828
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cheers..
i suppose you could say it is a losing-your-virginity song... nuff said! ![]()
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a goldfish only has a three second memory..that means if it takes a goldfish three seconds to swim around a bowl, everything is new...each time two goldfish meet it's like it's the first time.. |
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#707 |
Esquimal Conducido Pasión
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: In My Sugar Coated World, Filled With Angels And Love And Happiness And... And You.
Posts: 4,421
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You know i like your Lyrics Tj, so i think you should just keep them as they are!
![]() DOnt know what this is, just laid in the bath and wrote it! Its not a poem, or lyrics just a rambling of thoughts and ****! cause im in that kind of mood lol!! Ive made you cry, and told you beautiful lies. Made you wanna die, in a fit of eye fluttering. Still your breathing hypnotises me, and your breath on me, melts my soul. Our swear mixed together, in between our opened bodies. Craving for dryness, and sleep. Taste of leather on my lip, dying to touch your body. Before our eternal sleep. We do this to ourselves, to forget ourselves and feel alive. Building walls and fences, to purpously break them down and break ourselves down. Weaving moates surround our walls, and we drowned in the beauty of our moates. Again dont know what it is, but i just wrote it? ![]()
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![]() ![]() - Just To See How Hard, You Can Make Me Cry - ![]() ![]() - Im Not Who You Think I am, I Slipped A Stranger Inside - ![]() ![]() - You'll Be My Muse, And I'll Be Your Poet - ![]() ![]() |
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#708 |
Eskimo Frames Expert
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: People's Republic of Cork
Posts: 2,559
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heartbreaker
be careful what you wish for cos sometimes it might come true and when it comes around the bend it's sure to give you the blues an underground romance that's been going on for years months of love and months of war measured out in tears when left is right and right is wrong the roles are reversed but it's the same song and what is she supposed to do? when she thinks he's her dream-maker but then she goes and changes her mind it's a stone cold and what is she supposed to do? when she thinks he's her dream-maker and then she goes and changes her mind it's a stone cold heartbreaker i know it's all my fault and i feel all beige they say ignorance is bliss i hope wisdom comes with age i speak from experience so listen to my words just don't play with fire you'll end up getting burned when left is right and right is wrong the roles are reversed but it's the same song and what is she supposed to do? when she thinks he's her dream-maker but then she goes and changes her mind it's a stone cold and what is she supposed to do? when she thinks he's her dream-maker and then she goes and changes her mind it's a stone cold heartbreaker
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trying to find a little chaos in the order.. |
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#709 |
Eskimono
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Kristianstad in the south of Sweden.
Posts: 21
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This is song I made after a long talk with my best friend were he told me that his father had made sexual assults on him when he was a child...
![]() Sweet dreams You reached out to far with your hands of trust Innocence was lost in the name of lust to face the truth is hard to learn the faith of a child you have to earn embrace of deceive burned it's mark Sweet dreams now Mr, sleep tight tonight But your own flesh and blood keep wondering why... You must have seen through the shades of your eyes you must have felt all the pain inside It must have burned your hands and tongue and there's no redemption for what you've done there's no second chance and there's no return sweet dreams now Mr, sleep tight tonight but your own flesh and blood keep wondering why No matter what cause it won't come undone so don't come and claim like father like son You walk in this world with blindfolded eyes a mind of denial, a tongue drenched in lies and a bitter taste of fake in your mouth Sweet dreams now Mr, sleep tight tonight but your own flesh and blood keep wondering why... |
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#710 | |
Intello
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Co. Donegal, Ireland.
Posts: 2,435
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Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did Got what I paid for now See ya tomorrow, hey Frank can I borrow A couple of bucks from you? |
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#711 |
Working on a Dream
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 146
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This is a song I wrote yesterday about a car crash in which two young people died. It was their own fault. They were in the same car, the driver was driving too fast and hit another car, this one with two young children and a mother in it. Thankfully they weren't hurt.
Dead flowers for dead people What did you think You'd go and do today? Meet up with a couple of friends You haven't seen in a while? And what would happen On this fateful afternoon Two cars, Two deaths Hours later Flowers lined the roads The orange sun Setting in the distance The police tape Guarded your bodies But cars overturned Were visible And you probably don't want to know this... The flowers by the side of the road Are for no-one else but you The fools you are as men We can't protest for those already dead Did you think we could look in those eyes And bring you back again? You fools, You fools What did you think you were doing? And you probably don't want to know this... The flowers by the side of the road Are for no-one else but you The fools you are as men And, if you want, you can listen to the song here.
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#712 |
Intello
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Co. Donegal, Ireland.
Posts: 2,435
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yeah i wrote something similar to that but i dont think many people want to hear it coz its too depressing. - its called "grave digger" ~ heres a bit.
"and i'd sell your soul, for a couple of dough, so down you go, so down you go, so down you go,this repeats like a crescendo featured in Face "coz i adore you" i'll get the full thing up soon.. i never remember my songs! ...probably a bad sign. but sure damo is the same
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Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did Got what I paid for now See ya tomorrow, hey Frank can I borrow A couple of bucks from you? |
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#713 |
Eskimo Regular
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 176
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this is one of my newer pieces...called Diana for the moment, and i may be adding to it yet. it takes its inspiration from Roman Mythology. Diana was a Goddess of hunting, was regularly depicted with a deer, her temple was destroyed when the city it was in was ransacked. slaves worshipped her, and could always get sanctuary in her temple. and then in later years, she became a Moon Goddess.
Diana Diana stumbled down the stairs an arrow through her hand the flames beneath her smouldered as the armies raged across her land Blood flowed down her chest Her robe tattered and torn Her hair ragged across her face features weary and worn The temples burned The deer they fled The slaves they wailed As the moon bled red The warrior broke through the door and cupids arrow flew on the floor in front of him he found the greatest beauty he ever knew Now her body lifeless skin pale and pure her drained heart broke his for it could love no more the temples burned the deer they fled there's no hope for love born from the dead |
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#714 |
Eskimo Regular
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Jersey
Posts: 924
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A new one.
View from the shelf... Freedom drowns me as it rushes in intimidation comes with open doors feels like language has moved on without me don't understand the game let alone the scores the shelf seems so high when your looking down your legs trembling with regret and fear head swimming with the vertigo of taking the next step and I can't even see your house from up here not even my own voice in my head, its yours... move on, move on, move on looking around at the other faces in the trench niave and hopeful and wide of eyes what are we looking for at the end of this fight an illusion of peace and commitment with ties not even my own voice in my head, its yours... move on, move on, move on
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www.justinthorne.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Ninjas killed my family, I need money for Kung-Fu lessons'... homeless guy's sign, New York (May 2005) http://www.myspace.com/justinthorne http://www.myspace.com/jtintheshadows |
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#715 |
Eskimo Regular
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 176
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my newest one, written in character...
Open Letter to a Friend "Hey man, howsit going? tell me how you've been the whiskeys been flowing and yeah I'm drunk again Funny thing just happened just came from my girls place You know what she told me. I see it in your face You know I've seen it coming I've felt her slipping away I kept lying to myself trying to hide from this day I guess I should thank you for treating her so kind I've seen the change in her worries lifted from her mind Well my friend, I thank you no more burdens on my mind well my friend, I'd hit you but the whiskeys left me blind She's at the doctors now gotta hope it aint twins then she's off to the preacher he'll soon know about your sins So hey man, howsit going? no need to tell me how you've been so she didn't tell you that? now I see you're not so keen... but you know what she told me? you know what she said? said she loves you, said she needs you, but I'd rather see you dead... She loves you? She needs you? and I'm letting her go...." |
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#716 |
Esquimal Conducido Pasión
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: In My Sugar Coated World, Filled With Angels And Love And Happiness And... And You.
Posts: 4,421
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Haha!! I really really like that! You can really feel the emotion and pain!! I like it!!
![]() I like it ![]()
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![]() ![]() - Just To See How Hard, You Can Make Me Cry - ![]() ![]() - Im Not Who You Think I am, I Slipped A Stranger Inside - ![]() ![]() - You'll Be My Muse, And I'll Be Your Poet - ![]() ![]() |
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#717 |
Eskimo Regular
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 176
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cheers man. funny thing was i was in a great mood when i wrote it, i just had the character developing over the last few songs. a few of them are all connected/about the same guy...
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#718 |
Eskimo Regular
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Jersey
Posts: 924
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Monkey Love...
Like a monkey you couldn't let go of one branch until you had hold of another all about you, your needs, your esteem you reached out for some attention accusing me of disrespecting two and a half years yet you thought so little of my feelings I'm questioning who I am and what I have to offer if I can give so much and still lose I guess you are right, I don't know you at all, how do I decipher so many lies but I'm the bad guy, whatever you need to believe at night, I'll give it all to someone new don't expect me to ever look at you as angry as I am and the sleep I can't find I feel sorry for you and whoever's next come down from the trees and feel earth under foot because no branch can hold what you bear break free from your leash and find your own voice there's no happiness in another's smile an angel's face often hides a sad truth trust is no friend of mine for a while I guess you are right, I don't know you at all, how do I decipher so many lies but I'm the bad guy, whatever you need to believe at night, I'll give it all to someone new don't expect me to ever look at you never forgive yourself? you and me both
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www.justinthorne.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Ninjas killed my family, I need money for Kung-Fu lessons'... homeless guy's sign, New York (May 2005) http://www.myspace.com/justinthorne http://www.myspace.com/jtintheshadows |
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#719 |
Eskimo Regular
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Jersey
Posts: 924
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Seagull
nothing hurts more than losing someone you love and we're never more hurtful, than to those we love and I guess we all do crazy things and if the level of insanity is linked proportionately to just how much we care then maybe you can forgive me this one last time for being a stubborn, emotional bear instead of fighting for you and giving you food for thought like a seagull I flapped around, made a mess, then flew away I know you are hurting too and you're just as lost as me I know the future looks so far away and you feel all alone you were doing so well without me you'd set your mind and you were moving on you were strong and knew what to do then I threw in the mellowdrama, so what's new? it's just hard imagining me, if it doesn't include you instead of fighting for you and giving you food for thought like a seagull I flapped around, made a mess, then flew away
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www.justinthorne.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Ninjas killed my family, I need money for Kung-Fu lessons'... homeless guy's sign, New York (May 2005) http://www.myspace.com/justinthorne http://www.myspace.com/jtintheshadows |
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#720 | |
Eskimo Regular
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Jersey
Posts: 924
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http://www.myspace.com/justinthorne
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www.justinthorne.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Ninjas killed my family, I need money for Kung-Fu lessons'... homeless guy's sign, New York (May 2005) http://www.myspace.com/justinthorne http://www.myspace.com/jtintheshadows |
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