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SisterMidnight
01-11-2005, 03:16 AM
i reali like your lyrics niallo


Ditto!http://www.eskimofriends.com/forum/smileys/smiley32.gif


And Samuelle's as well.. I like how you describe time and the seasons speaking to you and advising your plans http://www.eskimofriends.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gifEdited by: SisterMidnight

Always_Echos
01-14-2005, 10:13 PM
And there isnít a pair of angel wings
That couldnít carry you home
If only I could reach them
Not good enough to reach them
But for these things Iíll strive
For you I would roam
And someday I will reach them
Iíll be good enough to reach them


Any comments?

Nathaniel
01-14-2005, 10:34 PM
you'll reach them darlin

izze
01-15-2005, 12:22 AM
shut the damn door, reach for the volume control, jack it up so high everything else is BLOCKED OUT, no more thinking, just the words pounding in my head, driving deeper, the floor is vibrating, but all that matters is me and the music, the rhythm is like painkiller, running through my system, numbing my thoughts, injecting me with placebo.


what u think eskimos?

Dade503
01-15-2005, 11:01 AM
well Peeps this is the 3rd song Ive posted now.....someone gonna give me any feedback???..loolololol


Its called Just a Boy!!!!


Im just the boy, I used to be. Give back the man you took from me. Keep sinking thinking , Im goin down, Im falling fast well here comes the ground.


Thats the way back down to earth, Not a boy or not a girl, Give a clue where are you from, just a child some fathers son.


See ma face its just a shade now, thats the man you seem to have made yeah, feel the rain fall on my bed , push these thoughts out of ma head now.


Thats the way back down to earth, Not a boy or not a girl, Give a clue where are you from, just a child some fathers son.


see the sunits burning my worlds on fire now come and burn with me, stop the world from turning I wanna get off so come and set me free, My stars are falling but Im not seeing where they hit the ground, my life is callin its screamin loud but I dont hear no sound..


Ohhhhh Ohhhh Im just a boy.(rpt x3)


Its been sometime since we last spoke, look Im the one you hurt and borke, Im just the boy I used to be, Give back the man you took form me..Edited by: Dade503

Nathaniel
01-15-2005, 04:10 PM
I havent posted any lyrics in a while but I started writing this last night - its called Higher Education


she was a beauty queen, a long time ago,


her future planned out she was ready to go


bags were packed with her boy by her side


london was calling as she waved me goodbye


and she sang...


saw her the other day and her future is now


wish I could have told herjust didnt know how


boymet a dancer with inside a year


left her with nothing but memories andtears


she sings


look at my hands,


look at my face,


look at my plans, disintergrated now


look at my heart,


check out these scars


fragments of stars in pieces on the ground


those stars were mine





I havent finished it yet but I like the tuneandany comments would as always be appreciated


Edited by: Nathaniel

izze
01-15-2005, 05:57 PM
dade really liking your lyrics i hav covered some themes similiar to parts of "just a boy" very deep and confused!

eims
01-15-2005, 09:56 PM
I havent posted any lyrics in a while but I started writing this last night - its called Higher Education


she was a beauty queen, a long time ago,


her future planned out she was ready to go


bags were packed with her boy by her side


london was calling as she waved me goodbye


and she sang...


saw her the other day and her future is now


wish I could have told herjust didnt know how


boymet a dancer with inside a year


left her with nothing but memories andtears


she sings


look at my hands,


look at my face,


look at my plans, disintergrated now


look at my heart,


check out these scars


fragments of stars in pieces on the ground


those stars were mine





I havent finished it yet but I like the tuneandany comments would as always be appreciated








I can almost hear someone singing it whilst reading it--it's lovely! I'm looking forword to hearing/seeing it when it's finished.. and for some weird reason i kinda read it to the tune of the JohnDenver song that starts with' I'm leaving, on a jet plane.. don't know when I'll be back again!!smileys/smiley17.gifsmileys/smiley36.gif

Nathaniel
01-16-2005, 10:46 AM
mad ! I watched a film about john denver the other night and had I'm leaving on a jet plane in my head all day at work


but unfortunately the tune is nothing like thatsmileys/smiley2.gif


here is one I havent posted - for you Lauren


Hereyes light up when she sees me at my show


I no its wrong but I've touched her and I want her so


bad it hurts my head as the lights they dim


standing down there I wish I was him


bridge


and would you give me tomorrow, if I asked you to


would you kiss me tomorrow, if I told you that I loved you


chorus


Oh my god, I fell in love with you all over again


when i saw you last night


and the timing is wrong because between us theres ten


and I never seem to get it right


2


a boyish face but theres cracks around my my eyes


pain of a prisonerimprisoned bymy own lies


i'm younger than my face suggests


26 now would you have guessed


so would you give me tomorrow


if I asked you to


would you kiss me tomorrow


If i told you that I love you


oh my god I fell in love with you all over again


when I saw you last night


timing is wrong thought you could have loved me but then


I never seem to get it right


and all I want is an ever after


dreams still haunted by your laughter


and this is all I wrote


Edited by: Nathaniel

Always_Echos
01-16-2005, 10:19 PM
Nath, you've made me all weepy! Thats beautiful honey, thank you xx

Nathaniel
01-16-2005, 10:21 PM
Nath, you've made me all weepy! Thats beautiful honey, thank you xx


any time baby you're my muse after allsmileys/smiley31.gif

Vienna
01-16-2005, 10:31 PM
smileys/smiley19.gif that is so beautiful

Nathaniel
01-16-2005, 10:33 PM
smileys/smiley19.gif that is so beautiful


thanks mate, really appreciate it I've had conflicting reviews of it, i really love it and think its one of the best I've written but you need to hear it to truly appreciate itEdited by: Nathaniel

Vienna
01-16-2005, 10:41 PM
well hopefully one day i will....and more of your stuff too!

Nathaniel
01-16-2005, 10:42 PM
when I record it I'll let you know hun

Vienna
01-16-2005, 10:44 PM
aw cool!

Nathaniel
01-16-2005, 10:46 PM
oh by the way what do you make of higher education? itis a brand new song I wrote on friday night when I was drunk

Vienna
01-16-2005, 10:49 PM
aw i love it...sorry hadn't noticed that one, i haven't been keeping up to date with this thread!

no it's good, i'd love to see it finished...in fact i haven't seen any of your lyrics that i don't love! i just need to hear them now! smileys/smiley1.gif

Nathaniel
01-16-2005, 10:51 PM
cheers mate - I am supposed to be going into the studio soon to record all of my new stuff (theres feckin loads of it) so as soon as I do I will make you a copy of the album

Vienna
01-16-2005, 10:52 PM
brilliant, i can't wait for it!

oh2bepretty
01-17-2005, 07:50 AM
I have been reading everyone else's lyrics. I can here the melody for most of the lyrics here. I would love critique on my lyrics.


Skip the subtleties I need atrocities
And linger on the river of sin
Step on the backs of lovers
Waiting for none other
Than the best of the best of the clan


I aim to please if only to be sure of my purpose
I wait in alley ways to rob you of your intended course
And clever just for the sake of knowing what I know
Is no better than ignorant of everything and how the world goes
So if you are loyal to the cause of resurrection
Then look no further I can offer you perfection
But if all you seek to do is bring me down
Then its best and its time for you to turn this train around


Slowly slinking away
Stinking of moral decay
And wanting more than you can readily give
Faster than I know
You have far outgrown
Everything I planned for you
But corpses float as a matter of circumstance
Its just something that comes along with the change
And in that obligation
there is indignation


But I guess I aim to please if only to be sure of my purpose
I wait in alley ways to rob you of your intended course
And clever just for the sake of knowing what I know
Is no better than ignorant of everything and how the world goes
So if you are loyal to the cause of resurrection
Then look no further I can offer you perfection
But if all you seek to do is bring me down
Then its best and its time for you to turn this train around


Your words used to push me down
And I used to run around
In circles chasing my tail


I learned my lesson then
I know what youíve become
And I cannot stand the smell
But corpses float as a matter of circumstance
Its just something that comes along with the change
And in that obligation
there is indignation
That you are better than that
That your elevation is due to acute perfection
But you have no proof
Only the rotting words
From a mouth much better served
Being closed


But I guess I aim to please if only to be sure of my purpose
I wait in alley ways to rob you of your intended course
And clever just for the sake of knowing what I know
Is no better than ignorant of everything and how the world goes
So if you are loyal to the cause of resurrection
Then look no further I can offer you perfection
But if all you seek to do is bring me down
Then its best and its time for you to turn this train around

Nathaniel
01-17-2005, 01:56 PM
hey Tia,





I love it matesmileys/smiley32.gif

Always_Echos
01-17-2005, 09:48 PM
Tia, thats really good.


Nath, i didnt realise it had music too! Reply to my text honey, we got some stuff to talk about. Xxsmileys/smiley31.gif

Lazy Life
01-18-2005, 09:50 PM
These lyrics came to my head whilst on the toilet smileys/smiley2.gif


Generally about how beautiful the world is and stuff I suppose... First verse as follows:
Sleep, on the 4<SUP>th</SUP> of July
Weep, for the big blue sky
Aní Dream, of your head held high
<?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Run, to the old manís cry
Jump, for the butterfly
Aní Drum, to the beat of the night

Creep, for the bakerís bun
Sneak, for the pirateís rum
Aní Leap, to the next Lilly, huní

The Pink Girly
01-18-2005, 10:31 PM
cheers mate - I am supposed to be going into the studio soon to record all of my new stuff (theres feckin loads of it) so as soon as I do I will make you a copy of the album


i hope this counts for your lil ol wifey back at home?! smileys/smiley9.gif

The Pink Girly
01-20-2005, 11:28 AM
Yes about twice a week or more.I am part of a collective of musicians called SEB who do a lot of gigs around West London - differnt styles in the group Jazz, Zoul, easy Listening and Myself which is basically contempory Rock/folk.


Chiswick, Shepherd's Bush, Brentford.


see www.291gallery.com (http://www.291gallery.com) for our concert on the 18th December 2004 which is in North London.





i used to live in chiswick. f**king love that place. miss itsmileys/smiley19.gif

moocow
01-20-2005, 09:37 PM
taking to the moon

as the blue blues coming through to you,

walking to you

had some brew

say what i had to say as the star came to the moon,

disin barking you from me as the shine blew through

your hair

oh your lips,

seems so hard to say,

darkness between the sunny sun and the bright moon



oh what did i do

say words as songs so night and bright

waking to see that soft skin again

eyes loving look showing me its ok

as the night falls and the moon so bright

taking

to it again

samuelle
01-21-2005, 12:59 AM
when daylight seems so far away,
the break of dawn's a hundred days
away from you.
memory of sunset fades,
darkness washes and cascades,
colors turn to grey.
a lack of ability to paginate,
to catalog, to separate.
andone more minute is long to wait
for earth to spin around, rotate
a few more degrees...


something something something. i have some sort of crippling inability to write a decent chorus. if i had one, though, it would go here. and then another verse...

SisterMidnight
01-21-2005, 06:33 AM
Wow Samuelle I thinkthat's my favorite one of yours yet! It sounds like it's about longing to me, the kind that wipes away all reason and common sense, where everything else is blurred by desire and an impatience for it to be satisfied...



...maybe if you took something from the verses you write and try to distill the main theme or sentiment into something simple and striking to drive home the theme or messageof the verses for the chorus.. just a thoughthttp://www.eskimofriends.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif

Nathaniel
01-21-2005, 01:37 PM
when daylight seems so far away,
the break of dawn's a hundred days
away from you.
memory of sunset fades,
darkness washes and cascades,
colors turn to grey.
a lack of ability to paginate,
to catalog, to separate.
andone more minute is long to wait
for earth to spin around, rotate
a few more degrees...


something something something. i have some sort of crippling inability to write a decent chorus. if i had one, though, it would go here. and then another verse...





these are really fecking goodsmileys/smiley32.gif

Always_Echos
01-21-2005, 04:22 PM
when daylight seems so far away,
the break of dawn's a hundred days
away from you.
memory of sunset fades,
darkness washes and cascades,
colors turn to grey.
a lack of ability to paginate,
to catalog, to separate.
andone more minute is long to wait
for earth to spin around, rotate
a few more degrees...


something something something. i have some sort of crippling inability to write a decent chorus. if i had one, though, it would go here. and then another verse...





these are really fecking goodsmileys/smiley32.gif





I agree! How fecking beautiful is that??smileys/smiley32.gifsmileys/smiley32.gifsmileys/smiley32.gif

samuelle
01-22-2005, 04:39 AM
smileys/smiley9.gifthanks everyone, for your kind words! smileys/smiley1.gif


this songhas been (and is)much harder to write than my other songs because it means so much more to me personally and so i've been trying to write without cynicism.


and melissa, thanks for the insight. your observations are spot on (as usualsmileys/smiley2.gif) and the fact that you received themessage i was going for really helps me feel more confidant as a writer. unfortunately, there are some things that cannot be reasoned out or sorted (e.g. emotion) and it is so frustrating to have to kind of wait out all of that "stuff" before logic can be engaged.

Dade503
01-23-2005, 11:04 AM
dade really liking your lyrics i hav covered some themes similiar to parts of "just a boy" very deep and confused!





Izze many thanks for the feedback...Wow at last!!!..lolol....someone gave me some..Feedback that is..

SisterMidnight
01-23-2005, 07:00 PM
smileys/smiley9.gifthanks everyone, for your kind words! smileys/smiley1.gif


this songhas been (and is)much harder to write than my other songs because it means so much more to me personally and so i've been trying to write without cynicism.


and melissa, thanks for the insight. your observations are spot on (as usualsmileys/smiley2.gif) and the fact that you received themessage i was going for really helps me feel more confidant as a writer. unfortunately, there are some things that cannot be reasoned out or sorted (e.g. emotion) and it is so frustrating to have to kind of wait out all of that "stuff" before logic can be engaged.





You're welcome smileys/smiley1.gifI really enjoy your writing Samuelle, and what you said made me think of something Patty Griffin said in the interview after the Austin City Limits gig (which also reminded me of how Damien describes the songwriting process too) I won't transcribe it word for word but it was something like...


"A lot of it feels like waiting around to me... you find yourself being annoyed for like a week and you don't know why you're annoyed and then*blech* a song comes out...you play and play and wait for the muses to show up... and hope that they help you write something from your heart"

The Pink Girly
01-26-2005, 08:43 PM
yeah samuelle they're great lyrics! (so not justjumping on the bandwagon!smileys/smiley36.gif i really think theyre wicked) *crosses heart*smileys/smiley17.gif

2dollarbill
01-26-2005, 10:22 PM
Sold


I've been away
I've seen the sun at dawn, on the ocean
I've seen the moon
look like a plate so high, in a cloudless sky
I've tasted things
straight from your dreams so sweet
I've seen a face to break your heart in two, cause it ain't lovin' you


and I have been right to the snow, it don't seem so white no
and I have been right to the sun, it don't seem so bright


but I am sold
on this feeling inside my heart
I am sold
on being inside your arms

am I not your rock
am I not your roll
am I not your soul


I've cried out
on a mountain and heard my reply
I've dived down
into the ocean so deep, that there is no light
I've heard a song
that raised the goosebumps on my neck
I've done things
I've had dreams, so many dreams


and I have been right to the snow, it don't seem so white no
and I have been right to the sun, it don't seem so bright


but I am sold
on this feeling inside my heart
I am sold
on being inside your arms

Amazing

2dollarbill
01-26-2005, 11:16 PM
Here are some lyrics, written not by me, but my brother, and I think theyre amazing





Fallen.</span>


</span>


SoÖ what
would you like to know about me,</span>


ĎCause
youíve said everything</span>


Thatís
written inside of your worst nightmare,</span>


Time after
time, youíre losing your way canít you see that I,</span>


Iím like
the rest of you,</span>


So come
back againÖ</span>


</span>


[Chorus]</span>


When youíve
fallen,</span>


Itís
alright until the morning,</span>


Crawliní
around on your knees,</span>


Itís
alright I hear you calling,</span>


Why donít
you say what youÖ</span>


</span>


Said to me
the other day,</span>


Before you
went and walked on </span>


Away, itís
true, what other people say,</span>


The rest of
itís all just a blur</span>


To me, time
and again, youíre losing</span>


Your
heavenly self, my love</span>


See you
another time, itís easier when</span>


</span>


You have
fallen, </span>


Itís
alright until the morning, </span>


Crawliní
around on your knees,</span>


Itís
alright I hear you callin,</span>


Why donít
you say what you see?</span>


Itís
alright till the morniní</span>


The morniní
yeah yeah yeah.</span>


</span>


© John
Mealey</span>

The Pink Girly
01-27-2005, 10:39 PM
Sold


I've been away
I've seen the sun at dawn, on the ocean
I've seen the moon
look like a plate so high, in a cloudless sky
I've tasted things
straight from your dreams so sweet
I've seen a face to break your heart in two, cause it ain't lovin' you


and I have been right to the snow, it don't seem so white no
and I have been right to the sun, it don't seem so bright


but I am sold
on this feeling inside my heart
I am sold
on being inside your arms

am I not your rock
am I not your roll
am I not your soul


I've cried out
on a mountain and heard my reply
I've dived down
into the ocean so deep, that there is no light
I've heard a song
that raised the goosebumps on my neck
I've done things
I've had dreams, so many dreams


and I have been right to the snow, it don't seem so white no
and I have been right to the sun, it don't seem so bright


but I am sold
on this feeling inside my heart
I am sold
on being inside your arms



Amazing




so true

Nathaniel
02-02-2005, 10:49 AM
hello i have been told to post this by my good friend Lauren (always echoes) some of you will spot that I have in fact used an idea from Tom Baxter's a day in verona but I hope you wont hold it against me. I hope you like it, this was written for Katie.
You, Me &amp; That Night<?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

together we lay now silent and still
save the sound and the motion of our breathing
the breeze outside the open window
causing the the moon to cast shadows, dancing branches across your skin
beads of perspiration meander the outline of your halo
time was lost as our lips embraced
our tongues waltzing to a song ive never heard
although my eyes were closed, lost in your kiss, my hands still traced
a path from the nape of your neck, to the small of your back
bodies rose and fell, skin upon skin, stuck and locked
with deepening breaths I breathed you in, I held you in
this was all I had wanted, it didnít have to be forever
tonight would be enough
but then it dawned on me in harmony with the dawning of morningís light
that I was falling for you
like the sunfalls forthe moon
I will never forget, you, me and that night

ade and rice
02-02-2005, 03:50 PM
Here's one of ours... hey tink..... this can be heard on www.eskimofriends.co.uk (http://www.eskimofriends.co.uk) in the media section, or live in the videos


Your Crime

If you had the chance to live today the way you left your yesterday
when everything was such a task seven steps just too damn fast
And laughing seemed like such a crime sitting smiling doing time
And while the world was rushing by


Have you held something like it could die frozen solid scared to cry
With every breath it could be gone dragon feeling stoned and numb
You raise your eyes and close them slow and in your head you're screaming no
And while the world was rushing by


And here see's your fate
Dance with it and take it while it waits
And here is your crime
Look at it and save your grace


If you had the chance to make your day the way you left your yesterday
When everything that you had asked seven steps just too damn fast
You laughed and joked of better times you looked around within your crimes
And all the world was rushing by


And here see's your fate
Dance with it and take it while it waits
And here is your crime
Look at it and save your grace

Vienna
02-02-2005, 03:59 PM
nathaniel and ade i love them!!



so glad to see one of your own ade.....wish i could go listen to it

ade and rice
02-02-2005, 04:01 PM
cheers darlin'


There's a few more now, but i haven't posted them yet!!





lol

Vienna
02-03-2005, 02:00 PM
oh you guys....i found a computer with headphones and i am just listening to your crime....it is so beautiful! i love love love it! wish i could put it on my Zen!

ade and rice
02-03-2005, 08:35 PM
what's a zen?? oh, and thank you!!

Vienna
02-04-2005, 02:33 PM
oh yeh it's like an ipod but different make!

Always_Echos
02-04-2005, 06:24 PM
hello i have been told to post this by my good friend Lauren (always echoes) some of you will spot that I have in fact used an idea from Tom Baxter's a day in verona but I hope you wont hold it against me. I hope you like it, this was written for Katie.
You, Me &amp; That Night<?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><O:P></O:P>
<O:P></O:P>
together we lay now silent and still<O:P></O:P>
save the sound and the motion of our breathing<O:P></O:P>
the breeze outside the open window<O:P></O:P>
causing the the moon to cast shadows, dancing branches across your skin<O:P></O:P>
beads of perspiration meander the outline of your halo<O:P></O:P>
time was lost as our lips embraced<O:P></O:P>
our tongues waltzing to a song ive never heard<O:P></O:P>
although my eyes were closed, lost in your kiss, my hands still traced<O:P></O:P>
a path from the nape of your neck, to the small of your back <O:P></O:P>
bodies rose and fell, skin upon skin, stuck and locked<O:P></O:P>
with deepening breaths I breathed you in, I held you in<O:P></O:P>
this was all I had wanted, it didnít have to be forever<O:P></O:P>
tonight would be enough<O:P></O:P>
but then it dawned on me in harmony with the dawning of morningís light <O:P></O:P>
that I was falling for you<O:P></O:P>
like the sunfalls forthe moon<O:P></O:P>
I will never forget, you, me and that night






Yay!!! I totally love this poem, Nath you are a wordsmith! smileys/smiley31.gif

izze
02-05-2005, 10:07 AM
some of my poems n stuff can be found on my website


www.freewebs.com/volcanoesmeltyoudown (http://www.freewebs.com/volcanoesmeltyoudown)


plz leave feedback on this thread

samuelle
02-06-2005, 04:59 PM
Here's one of ours... hey tink..... this can be heard on www.eskimofriends.co.uk (http://www.eskimofriends.co.uk) in the media section, or live in the videos


it's beautiful! i just listened to "your crime" and "so we wait." i particularly like the vocal melody of "your crime" and how it just kind of keeps moving.

tink-reincarnated
03-04-2005, 03:42 PM
Mmmm heres a song i've just wrote about a number of things going on aroundme at the moment.

Touched so deep but cut as much
Yearned to keep yet gave it up
Maybe accepted
But it's not at all understood.

She was led by a fool to there
Broken as easy as glass she remains

Longed to hold your hand in mine
But pulled away as though it was a crime
To hear that you can feel it to
But lost out can't scream out

She was led by a fool to there
Broken as easy as glass she remains.

I've wrote with a piano part and just vocals

snowbaby
03-05-2005, 08:51 PM
i like those lyrics tink/ tink reincarnated :) u should put up a link id love to hear it.

okay i write the whole time, i don't seem to be able to put the more expressive poems thingys to music thou... so this is one i have put music to..

its called strangers.. i think

what is happening to us? why are we drifting apart?
i'm your friend, before im anything else, don't forget that now,

and i really really really just don't want to fight,
is there anyway we can put this wrong right?
cause you've become a stranger before my eyes...

i wait out here outside, waiting for my friends to give me a ride,
closer to you when we arrive, but no closer to the you inside,

and i really really really just don't want us to fight,
anyway we can put this wrong right?
cause you've you've become a stranger before my eyes...

i'll wait for the moment, i'll anticipate,
your words, your motions, you're leaving this

and i just really really really just don't want us to fight,
is there anyway we can put this wrong right,
cause you've become a stranger before my eyes...

my friend the stranger stands before my eyes....

that's it, id love to hear some opinons/ constructive criticism cause all my friends and family just say my stuff's great, they're sweet to lie :)

tink-reincarnated
03-06-2005, 07:53 PM
oooh i like that very much really nice lyrics . I havent actually recorded mine yet but when i do i'll let u hear it. Love to hear your song

The Pink Girly
03-08-2005, 07:40 PM
Yay!!! I totally love this poem, Nath you are a wordsmith! smileys/smiley31.gif

oh! i just remembered why i married you! that and your dashing good looks and charm of course! *winks* i dont think tom wud mind that you nicked his line, i reckon he'd be pleased that it went into something so beaudiful.

The Pink Girly
03-08-2005, 07:42 PM
hello i have been told to post this by my good friend Lauren (always echoes) some of you will spot that I have in fact used an idea from Tom Baxter's a day in verona but I hope you wont hold it against me. I hope you like it, this was written for Katie.
You, Me &amp; That Night<?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

together we lay now silent and still
save the sound and the motion of our breathing
the breeze outside the open window
causing the the moon to cast shadows, dancing branches across your skin
beads of perspiration meander the outline of your halo
time was lost as our lips embraced
our tongues waltzing to a song ive never heard
although my eyes were closed, lost in your kiss, my hands still traced
a path from the nape of your neck, to the small of your back
bodies rose and fell, skin upon skin, stuck and locked
with deepening breaths I breathed you in, I held you in
this was all I had wanted, it didnít have to be forever
tonight would be enough
but then it dawned on me in harmony with the dawning of morningís light
that I was falling for you
like the sunfalls forthe moon
I will never forget, you, me and that night




sorry, that was what i was meant to quote! make more sense now!?!?! hehe

Livo
03-20-2005, 09:39 PM
emmm......i'm not sure i should post this but gotta start showing songs somewhere....

(btw this doesn't have a name yet, suggestions are welcome)

electric currents pass over my eyes
these feelings wash through me
and i don't understand
this pain and sadness
is not going to heal
lord, if i cry now,
lord, would you hear?

the voices in my head
they suffer and sulk
they mean nothing to me
they don't see what i see

caught between heaven and hell
caught in a lanslide
but how can you tell?
but when i see
it's like an explosion
i've really got to
retain my composure

the voices in my head
they suffer and sulk
they mean nothing to me
they don't see what i see
climbing up the wall
afraid that i might fall
and how do i bleed?
how do i bleed?

(i'm gonna post this before i change my mind..) :smiley9::smiley9::smiley9:

Livo
03-20-2005, 09:44 PM
Take heed of how you're walking home,
There's Monsters everywhere

reminds me of the frames' song "locusts"

don't go outside tonight
the locusts fill the sky

snowbaby
03-20-2005, 09:48 PM
well done for being so brave. i think it's class, the lyrics sound a bit damienesque... which can only be a good thing :) with the lord,if i cry now , lord would you hear being a bit like lord, can you hear me now, lord can you hear me now... but anyway, wicked imagery with the landslide between heaven and hell...i'm a leaving cert higher english student, i can't just read lyrics/poems anymore i must analyse them, sowwy :) but i like it, id love to hear what the music is like...

Livo
03-20-2005, 09:55 PM
well done for being so brave. i think it's class, the lyrics sound a bit damienesque... which can only be a good thing :) with the lord,if i cry now , lord would you hear being a bit like lord, can you hear me now, lord can you hear me now... but anyway, wicked imagery with the landslide between heaven and hell...i'm a leaving cert higher english student, i can't just read lyrics/poems anymore i must analyse them, sowwy :) but i like it, id love to hear what the music is like...

thank you.......:smiley9:
the "damienesque" bit..i think that was on purpose, but i can't quite remember. same kind of jist really, kind of a plea for help in general? the music is tres boring..

Diarmo
03-21-2005, 09:02 PM
well done livo!!

Juzzza
03-22-2005, 04:33 PM
Mellowdrama

Softly, take it easy
slowly, on your own
she says, we don't crave what hurts
and talks of our hope breaking
but I don't have your face to touch
or your body to shape my song

'cause I've got nothing
for me to go on
just these words
that I created
in my mind
and some eyes
that I can't find, that I can't find

softly, take it easy
slowly, on your own
I think of you on that bus
and wish it was me you were watching
but I don't have your face to touch
or your body to shape my song

'cause I've got nothing
for me to go on
just these words
that I created
in my mind
and some eyes
that I can't find, that I can't find

niallo
03-22-2005, 04:39 PM
well done juzzza,any chance of hearing it when its recorded?

Juzzza
03-22-2005, 04:43 PM
For sure Niallo, this will be the first place I post a link!

Jen de mighty
03-22-2005, 10:39 PM
juzzza thats so beautiful!!omg youll have me in tears soon!!!fair play darlin' :)

Juzzza
03-23-2005, 09:10 AM
Hey thanks Jen... and also thanks to 2dollarbill who was nice about 'Sold' on the previous page.

If you wanna hear those lyrics in action, check out my site www.justinthorne.com (http://www.justinthorne.com) and go to the downloads section, or you can hear the live version from my homepage, which was recorded at the BBC.

Thanks guys.

Jen de mighty
03-23-2005, 09:48 AM
i cant seem to get them down off the site..probably my ignorant-ness..ill give it another go :) i wanna hear it!!

Juzzza
03-23-2005, 09:51 AM
You will need real player I am afraid Jen, it's free but takes a little while to download unless you have DSL.

Otherwise, PM me your address and I'll send you a CD, then you can hear ten tunes, including 'Sold'.

Jen de mighty
03-23-2005, 09:53 AM
oh whoa!!that would rule!!!okay pming as we speak..type..whatever :)

Juzzza
03-23-2005, 10:12 AM
(sorry if this has already appeared, thread too big for me to check)

Lonely Road

Heard you on the phone last night
when you thought that I was sleeping
looking back I should've known, how could I be so blind
seems we have a different view
of how things have been going
you can't say what makes you stay
your heart or your mind

it's been going wrong for too long
can I change your mind
should I even try oh no
dunno how to mend your heart
hell I don't even know why

'cause it's a lonely road
lonely road
it's a lonely road
lonely road

so now I'm paranoid
I jump at every shadow
always watching what I say
scared to know the truth
I know I'm losing you
and I dunno how to change it
guess I thought we'd always be
together til the end

it's been going wrong for too long
can I change your mind
should I even try oh no
dunno how to mend your heart
girl I don't even know why

'cause it's a lonely road
lonely road
it's a lonely road
lonely road

Miss Pink
03-23-2005, 02:20 PM
juzzza thats so beautiful!!omg youll have me in tears soon!!!fair play darlin' :)


mellow drama is written about me.

i need to make it more publicly known

minneken1911
03-23-2005, 04:23 PM
wow, juzza. lonely road is very nice. very sad. just how i like 'em.:smiley1:

Soleillily
03-24-2005, 02:11 AM
Love that Juzza...
Here is something that I wrote....

I bought some shoes at the karma store today
So I can walk to you
without feeling the weight of our separation over me
Is this the way itís always going to be?
ĎCos itís not always plain to see

When I get to you
you look at me that way
And as always I turn away
ĎCos I donít feel like being swayed by you anymore

So please donít glance like that
We are not always given this or that
You lost what it is you lack
And you wonít be able to bring it back

I bought some shoes at the karma store yesterday
So I can walk away from you
without feeling the weight of our separation over me
Obviously it was just me,
that made it mean more than it would be

Walk away from youÖ
Is all I can doÖ
It seems it was never meant to be
We learn to give only what we need

(c)sz2005

snowbaby
03-26-2005, 12:20 PM
this isn't really a song yet... its just words at the mo :)

You're like the moon, I can see you shining bright in all your glory,
But you're untouchable, A golden god, is there any girl out there capable of taming you?
If you are the moon, then I am a star,
You christened me that,
You said I was a star shining underground, Stolen words but they were special to me,
Was that a moment of clarity for you or one of dreadful confusion?
In that moment did you understand the depth of my feelings for you?
In that moment did you understand my position?
I could be the girl, maybe not capable of taming you but I could try save you, If you could save me.
In this universe, stars dance around you, I dance by myself.
Drawn to you like a moth to a flame.
You, the powerful one, the burning light, only sometimes willing to watch me dance for you,
Willing to warm me with your light, for a while,
But if I get too close, I will get burnt,
So I flutter around you.
When your light is hidden behind clouds, I dance with the other stars but I'm always waiting for you to reappear and light up this dark sky.
I understand these confusing steps I dance.
I want only you but I am not even sure of my desire for you.
To protect myself from the others i focus only on you while you enjoy the sparkle of all the other stars.
But i understand, you didn't ask for this.

Always_Echos
03-27-2005, 08:50 PM
Justin, that song 'Mellowdrama' is beautiful "your body to shape my song" i think that was it, i love this line. Snowbaby, you've got what i had, where all these words come out but you cant quite work out how to fit them in a song. If i were you, i'd leave it as this, its gorgeous the way it is. :smiley1:

Juzzza
03-29-2005, 10:19 PM
Thanks AE...

Hey, anyone who is interested, my mate Killian has put my CD online and you can listen to Lonely Road http://gmail.google.com/gmail?view=att&disp=attd&attid=0.1&th=102ed6d519733575 here! :smiley16:

snowbaby
03-29-2005, 11:12 PM
Snowbaby, you've got what i had, where all these words come out but you cant quite work out how to fit them in a song. If i were you, i'd leave it as this, its gorgeous the way it is. :smiley1:


thank you :) and i know that feeling when all the words just spill out and its such a release.... ive kinda lost it recently too.... i think we just need to wait for some more real things to happen if ya get me :) nobody can write emotive strong stuff when the world is being blah.... :) tell me when u get ur gift back :)

Juzzza
03-30-2005, 08:56 AM
Juzza...I don't know but i thnk the link is not working. It enters in the gmail page nad asks for the username and password...
And now I can't listen to Lonely Road :smiley19: :smiley19: :smiley19:

Doh sorry!!!

thorne.justin is the username and juzzza is the password... you can listen to the whole CD there if you like.

soda
03-30-2005, 10:06 AM
i'm gonna listen to it now. thnx.

-edit-
great songs!!! very worth while listening :smiley32:
they reminds me a lot of a belgian artist called Tom Helsen (http://www.tomhelsen.be/)
please don't over produce the songs, they sound great as they are.

Juzzza
03-30-2005, 04:33 PM
Thanks soda, glad you like them.

Don't worry, I won't over-produce. All the songs on '...honey' were live takes, I just want to see how they might sound as genuine studio versions and it will be nice to have some drums and other guitar parts.

damofan
03-30-2005, 06:08 PM
Some of these lyrics are amazing - helps that i have heard some of the songs Justin. hehe ill post some of mine when im in from work.

Jgrg1984
03-30-2005, 08:00 PM
Here is something i wrote yesterday...

a bird in the water swears it cant drown no more
a bird in the water cant fly around anymore
i could be your majesty, the king to your queen
or i could be a tragedy, another song to sing

a bird in the water, just drowns and goes on down
a bird in the water, trys to find someway out
do you remember crying and holding on so tight
did you forget calling, all through the night

i could be your breathe of air
or i could be your pain
i could be a blinding stare,
that leaves a lovely stain

i could be a muddy walk
that leaves you cold in heart
or i could be the summertime
the shirt thats always soaked

then there is an outro in which i just repeat the line

spread this kerosene stain, light this flame

videoaux
04-06-2005, 12:52 AM
Im new here, big damien fan. Hes my hero and hes done what i want to do, play music to the world.
Here are some lyrics ive been working on. i hopeyou like.


this one doesnt have a name

everytime i step inside i know your taking my,
my heart is yours,
you open up the doors to find a reason,
your perfect footsteps on the floor.

keep in mind your alibi your stepping,
stones scattered on the trodden floor,
never moved in a bustled life,
and you dont want me anymore.

i used to see the day painted in the words,
written in a thousand songs,
lying eyes and im never wise enough to see.

this morning i thought i had it figured out.
a feeling killed by ambiguity,
you close the window dust off the blinds,
but still open up the door.




open your eyes its a new day,
close your ears the crying voices have gone away,
and just you an me here and ive nothing left to say,
but that i want you, and youll never go away

a flying leaf upon the breeze.
thats what i seem to be,
a floating bottle in the sea,
a wooden fence can still hold me,
trapped inside for you to see,
and i wont break free.


chorus

because you hold me down.
and you hold me up
because you want me around
and you wont give up

keep on believing you have your own way,
block out the world and have nothing to say,
its just you and me here no matter come what may,
leave the past behind, why dont you let it lay.


a flying leaf upon the breeze.
thats what i seem to be,
a floating bottle in the sea,
a wooden fence can still hold me,
trapped inside for you to see,
and i wont break free.



because you hold me down.
and you hold me up
because you want me around
and you wont give up


cant you see im breaking?



because you hold me down.
and you hold me up
because you want me around
and you wont give up



please dont steal them if you like them. ill cry.

BIG TIM
04-06-2005, 05:51 AM
this isn't really a song yet... its just words at the mo :)

You're like the moon, I can see you shining bright in all your glory,
But you're untouchable, A golden god, is there any girl out there capable of taming you?
If you are the moon, then I am a star,
You christened me that,
You said I was a star shining underground, Stolen words but they were special to me,
Was that a moment of clarity for you or one of dreadful confusion?
In that moment did you understand the depth of my feelings for you?
In that moment did you understand my position?
I could be the girl, maybe not capable of taming you but I could try save you, If you could save me.
In this universe, stars dance around you, I dance by myself.
Drawn to you like a moth to a flame.
You, the powerful one, the burning light, only sometimes willing to watch me dance for you,
Willing to warm me with your light, for a while,
But if I get too close, I will get burnt,
So I flutter around you.
When your light is hidden behind clouds, I dance with the other stars but I'm always waiting for you to reappear and light up this dark sky.
I understand these confusing steps I dance.
I want only you but I am not even sure of my desire for you.
To protect myself from the others i focus only on you while you enjoy the sparkle of all the other stars.
But i understand, you didn't ask for this.

Hey Snowbaby, I'm new to this site and I love your lyrics from both songs this one has a beautiful flow to it and it has a hell of a lot of potential. it already kicks ass as a poem.

BIG TIM
04-06-2005, 06:20 AM
Hey Guys,
everyone that has posted lyrics are awesome there is a lot of talent.
I thought i'd post a song from my band it was the first (and only one completed) so please any feed back would be cool.

It aint gonna be me

Need time
need some distance.
Great pain
and great resistance.
I was beggin you to stay,
it could never be that way.

You made me see the end of light
my best friend, that same night.
you think I'll cry
you think I'll fall
you think I'll crumble, cause of it all.

Chorus.

Who said it aint gonna be me
Thats standin here in darkness of sorrow
Who said it aint gonna be me
That's missin' you when your gone tomorrow
I said it aint gonna be you
Who leaves me when your through
I said it aint gonna be me
That's a victum of your love so blinding

I think
I've given all I got
that been said you want more
I'm strong enough,
this you'll see.
why cant you just let me be.

you made me see the end of light
our trust destroyed, in just one night
you think I'll cry
you think I'll fall
you think I'll crumble, cause of it all.

Chorus

You say you love me when you look inton these eyes
but when I look at you now I see nothing but lies
I cant believe you think you can :smiley35: with me this way
then act all surpirsed when I dont care if you stay.

Chorus to Outro.

Thanks for Reading :smiley17:

Always_Echos
04-07-2005, 01:23 PM
This is wicked! I love it, just the first few lines made me wanna read on. Have you got it recorded? Coz i'd love to hear it.

Hey Guys,
everyone that has posted lyrics are awesome there is a lot of talent.
I thought i'd post a song from my band it was the first (and only one completed) so please any feed back would be cool.

It aint gonna be me

Need time
need some distance.
Great pain
and great resistance.
I was beggin you to stay,
it could never be that way.

You made me see the end of light
my best friend, that same night.
you think I'll cry
you think I'll fall
you think I'll crumble, cause of it all.

Chorus.

Who said it aint gonna be me
Thats standin here in darkness of sorrow
Who said it aint gonna be me
That's missin' you when your gone tomorrow
I said it aint gonna be you
Who leaves me when your through
I said it aint gonna be me
That's a victum of your love so blinding

I think
I've given all I got
that been said you want more
I'm strong enough,
this you'll see.
why cant you just let me be.

you made me see the end of light
our trust destroyed, in just one night
you think I'll cry
you think I'll fall
you think I'll crumble, cause of it all.

Chorus

You say you love me when you look inton these eyes
but when I look at you now I see nothing but lies
I cant believe you think you can :smiley35: with me this way
then act all surpirsed when I dont care if you stay.

Chorus to Outro.

Thanks for Reading :smiley17:

BIG TIM
04-09-2005, 03:28 AM
Hey thanks very much, :smiley2:
we have it recorded but its not done very well I'm trying to get a hold of it so when i do i can send it to you if you'd like

thanks for the feedback you made my day.

snowbaby
04-09-2005, 11:22 PM
Hey Snowbaby, I'm new to this site and I love your lyrics from both songs this one has a beautiful flow to it and it has a hell of a lot of potential. it already kicks ass as a poem.


:smiley9: oh :smiley9: why thank you :)

BIG TIM
04-10-2005, 01:47 PM
Hey No Problem,
have you got anymore or any that you have recorded

snowbaby
04-10-2005, 03:16 PM
am... ive loads of poems thingys but only 4 songs recorded... but only onto a minidisc... oh ya.. does anyone know how id get stuff that's recorded onto my minidisc onto my compooter??

kel :)
04-10-2005, 04:35 PM
hey guys, this is the first time ive ever shown anybody any of my stuff and im kinda nervous, so here goes and just tell me what you think.



Im lost, confused,
I try to make head or tail of my thoughts,
But nothing I try
Clears the fog you've placed around me.
Time spent together throws me
into spirals of bliss,
So random,
So unexpected, that I never know when
My next hit of happiness will come.

So, tell me now,
Do you still love her?
Does your mind wander to thoughts of her
When wrapped up in me?
When you kiss me, is it me you're kissing?
so tell me now,
Will you ever love me?

I wait, wondering,
Tormenting my mind with thoughts of you,
Obsessive, compulsive,
I dream, eat, think, see you.
Infatuation is taking over,
Help me, unblind me,
Help me
Know where to place my feet as I dont know
Where to stand, when I stand with you.

So, tell me now,
Do you still love her?
Does your mind wander to thoughts of her
When wrapped up in me?
When you kiss me, is it me your kissing?
So tell me now,
Will you ever love me?

lemme know what ye think! :smiley9:

BIG TIM
04-10-2005, 10:31 PM
Hey Kel,

These lyrics are awesome! Its one of those things where you can just tell that this is a song from personal experience. its beautifully articulated. I really like the line "help me know where to place my feet as i dont know where i stand, when i stand with you"
make sure you place any other songs up :smiley1:

snowbaby
04-10-2005, 10:34 PM
hey kel, ive also been there and u capture it SO well!!! well done, it's REALLY very good :)

kel :)
04-11-2005, 06:21 PM
big tim and snowbaby, thank u so much!! it really boosts the confidence cause i was a little wary bout postin it up! ye really made my day guys!! :smiley31:

Gatsby
04-13-2005, 03:01 AM
kel those lyrics are awesome, well done :)

BIG TIM
04-13-2005, 01:22 PM
hey guys just wrote this, not really a song yet a bit stuck with it at the moment :smiley29:

Garbage Man.

What can I say here I am again, same situation still ending up friends.
What is it about me that cannot be transcended
From becoming a lover after the broken heart is mended
How is it that you can be standing up, and being strong
Without looking downwards seeing me youíre standing on.

After tears that have fallen which you never knew you caused.
After the pains have been wiped away while my life was on pause.
When I stay awake watching for the sunrise on your tomorrow.
You sleep well knowing that my heart is always there to borrow.

Why I donít get affection for making your world so bearable
Would you notice if I was replaced by another not nearly as capable.
But then I say no because this is the person that I am.
guess thatís why thank yous arenít heard by garbage men

kel :)
04-13-2005, 04:54 PM
god, them lyrics are actually excellent...and so real as in part of it is like my own thoughts in my head...seriously well done tim.

and thank u revelate!!means so much. maybe ill put another couple up seeing as i dont feel so nervous anymore!thanx guys!

Miss Pink
04-13-2005, 11:01 PM
i really shouldnt read them, cuz i tend to steal lines and put them in my own songs.


sorry.

but i will read them and i promice not to steal

BIG TIM
04-14-2005, 10:05 AM
god, them lyrics are actually excellent...and so real as in part of it is like my own thoughts in my head...seriously well done tim.


Thanks Kel,
It means a lot, and please do post more of your songs they are awesome. ;)

kel :)
04-15-2005, 04:53 PM
ok, here goes, another one i found that i wrote a while back:

Tracing your face with my fingers
I memorise every detail of your skin.
Eyelashes flutter with touch
Cheeks are flushed, skin is soft.
I lightly brush my lips against yours
Captivated by sight, enraptured by love.

Eyes are closed, all senses aware,
Your breath soft, I feel the rise and fall
of your body as your arms draw me closer.
Your lips are moist and barely chapped.
Your breath deepens, as does your kiss
And my head starts to spin.

Your hands cup my face gently
And you slowly draw us apart.
You stare into my eyes and your face
crinkles to a smile that is beautiful.
Lost for words, i watch and then
My heart soars as you say
"I love you"

maccas81
04-15-2005, 04:57 PM
wow thats very good kel, very poetic.....almost too good for song lyrics!

kel :)
04-15-2005, 05:08 PM
aw thanx shawn! it is a little poetic but i dont think about it, i just write them and call them songs!! :smiley9:

BIG TIM
04-16-2005, 12:07 AM
Kel, You must post more songs, you are brilliant. ;)

honestly those lyrics are amazing I got chills reading them.

cello_pudding
04-16-2005, 07:42 AM
okay...i need to push myself to creating more lyrics so i'm gonna try to make some on the spot right now..


spring leaves
fall from their trees
here is mine
grow back with time

calm breeze
that would comfort me
starts to fail
grows cold in time

beauty that can't be blinded by the sun
close my eyes and i feel its warmth

what we find
brings us to redefine
something so unique,
yet so quickly put behind.


well, i just can't seem to make something that at all cohesive in structure or motif. i give up

basically this is spring, and i'm supposed to be feeling all new with love and all that crap, but right now i'm the exact opposite, waiting for it to come back. a girl that i make "melt to the floor" and finds originality in no one but me, is soooo quick to forget me and move on to anyone...

which pisses me off, cuz she's a girl that is always looking for a guy, and never it working. she'll go out on a date with anybody, but because she's far away she thinks i don't need to exist in her world. well maybe not that far...but i don't know what the crap she wants to find, and i know she won't find it again, she's so temporary with guys, not that she can't commit, just that she's looking for me, but closer in proximity. her patience really sucks, and it frustrates me more than anything in the world right now.

kel :)
04-16-2005, 12:57 PM
Kel, You must post more songs, you are brilliant. ;)

honestly those lyrics are amazing I got chills reading them.

thank u so much! wow :smiley9:

cello pudding, those lyrics are so well done. like its hidden meaning to everyone but you, so that ppl can make their own out of it.very clever.

paudy
04-16-2005, 09:41 PM
the chorus to one of my songs is

I've fallen from a cloud,
so fast i'm gonna
hit the ground and i
wish i had wings to fly,
but you make everything allright
you took the rain and
made it bright for me
and for you

damofan
04-19-2005, 11:37 AM
Somehow I have fashioned a longing for you,
Yet unlike like the seasons, your time is now and for always.
Though trends of love blossom and fade,
This feeling glows with a radiance of all times, never diminishing in its beauty.
No expense spared when it comes to matters of the heart,
For all the fabrics of the human soul embroider us together now.
I have dreamt of your hands of silk, your heart of gold,
Cloaked I have stood in the fields of desire,
Watching the colours of day and night fuse to fabricate all that is pure.
The colours of night so truly covet my longing for you now
As daylight rises, Iím exposed once again to your light.
None so true as the fabrics of the heart
None so pure as emotion
None so bare as the stillness of my soul
The quiet little stirring of commotion.

damofan
04-19-2005, 11:42 AM
Every Inch of My Being
Every line of my soul
Pours out for you now
Iíve waited for this feeling to come
Every lyric from my mind
Is shed in these pages
Iíve longed for a love like ours
Every picture in my heart
Fades with memories
Iíve wished for something new
Every part of my being
Longs to have you near
Iíve hoped for a love thatís trueÖ


Its a work in progress...Grrrr

BIG TIM
04-26-2005, 06:27 AM
Samuelle and Damofan.

Those lyrics are awesome. Damofan your first songs is absolutely beautiful.

and samuelle those lyrics are so real i cant find another word for them they are awesome.

Thanks for sharing guys :)

damofan
04-26-2005, 03:39 PM
Thanks BIG TIM! work in progress but thought i'd share - i agree Samuelle your lyrics are amazing - very real.

Juzzza
04-26-2005, 04:41 PM
Broken Ticker

From across the room
over heads and conversations
I still can't look at your face, scared you'll catch on to what I'm feeling

the guy who should be enraptured
stopped listening an age ago
I hear every word, feel every vibration, feel the blush rising from my heart

I know I'm being rash
I know I'm being unfair, on myself, you, them
I know I'm wrong but even a broken clock is right twice a day

I see you looking around the room
you smile and sing and share your song
and still I think when you look at me, it's unique and I'm the only one

I pretend you share this secret
that it's us against them, they don't know
I know you need a friend, nothing more, I love you more than you could ever know

I know I'm being rash
I know I'm being unfair, on myself, you, them
I know I'm wrong but even a broken clock is right twice a day

Miss Pink
04-26-2005, 07:29 PM
im wrote 1 about the pope dying, and me losing faith and not understanding the significance of a religion

"The world has lost its leader
and the sky is fallin down
He's tryin hard to please her,
But babe cant budge that frown,

Little Buddah's losing weight
Waves come crashing in
While children scream and pray for faith,
I'm not cosey in my skin

Chorus-

So i dance a little harder
Smile a little wider
Cuddle up beside me
When jesus trys to find me
You dance a little harder smile a little wider
I cuddle up beside you
When Jesus tries to find you"

BIG TIM
04-27-2005, 11:22 AM
but even a broken clock is right twice a day

Man that is a killer line I love it. :smiley32:

BIG TIM
04-27-2005, 11:26 AM
im wrote 1 about the pope dying, and me losing faith and not understanding the significance of a religion

So i dance a little harder
Smile a little wider
Cuddle up beside me
When jesus trys to find me
You dance a little harder smile a little wider
I cuddle up beside you
When Jesus tries to find you"

Wow Miss Pink,

You have opened my eyes, I knew that people looked up to the pope but i never knew that he had that much of an impact on people.
as for losing faith. huge issue love the line about the budda losing weight.
awesome lyrics guys I hope this thread stays strong for a long time.

Cheers Juzza

Juzzza
04-27-2005, 02:48 PM
Man that is a killer line I love it. :smiley32:

Can't claim it as my own unfortunately, I saw it in a blog a while ago and wanted to work it into a song ever since.

Miss Pink
04-27-2005, 02:57 PM
Wow Miss Pink,

You have opened my eyes, I knew that people looked up to the pope but i never knew that he had that much of an impact on people.
as for losing faith. huge issue. love the line about the budda losing weight.
awesome lyrics guys I hope this thread stays strong for a long time.





aw thanks tim!!! yeah i really never under stood how important the pope was to ppl, and i still dont really understand to be honest......I like the buddah thing too! Im flirting with Buddhism at the moment, so its important to me, but still even Buddah worries about losing weight, so i like it.

i have other verses with lines like "some call it karmah, I call him Greg" and what not but they aint finished!!

Thanks again!

Vienna
04-27-2005, 08:01 PM
BIG TIM....i absolutely love it ain't gonna be me, bloody fantastic, i'd love to hear it too!

and kel....that one that starts i'm lost, confused (did it have a name, sorry can't remember) was brilliant, just beautiful!

Vienna
04-27-2005, 08:03 PM
pinky poo...love it, that buddah line is ace!

soda
04-27-2005, 09:44 PM
brilliant lines people!!!! very funny juzzza, yesterday my neighour said the same thing about his broken clock. and miss pink, that buddha line is very very very very good. (though i'm wondering if you are not confusing a Hotei with Lord Buddha) Buddhism is very interesting, what r u reading about it? i'd like to read some more about it. I'm not into religious songs and all with the praising of jezus, but your lines are nice.

Miss Pink
04-28-2005, 07:05 PM
and miss pink, that buddha line is very very very very good. (though i'm wondering if you are not confusing a Hotei with Lord Buddha) Buddhism is very interesting, what r u reading about it? i'd like to read some more about it. I'm not into religious songs and all with the praising of jezus, but your lines are nice.


im not praising jesus, im running away from him. and it about me losing faith, not finding faith. "the world has lost its leader" is reference to how EVERY1 was upset about his death and i wasnt, and esp in ireland, the ppl wanted a national day of mourning and there was up roar because the state announced that there wouldnt be one, and i agreed with the state.


Im not confusing buddha with Hotei, Buddha i used because im flirting with the idea of buddhism and, i think that with such "people" like buddha, they surely worry about weight too.

kel :)
04-28-2005, 09:42 PM
wow....juzzza, them lyrics are fantastic...and so so real.you had me caught up in a moment reading them....im such a hopeless romantic! :smiley9:

BIG TIM
04-29-2005, 09:48 AM
BIG TIM....i absolutely love it ain't gonna be me, bloody fantastic, i'd love to hear it too!

Aww Thanks Vienna,
all the feed back is a real confidence boost, so i really appreicate it. and I am getting around to making it an mp3 as well so i will let you know

thanks again :smiley17:

Uno- X
05-01-2005, 08:37 AM
the chorus to one of my songs is

I've fallen from a cloud,
so fast i'm gonna
hit the ground and i
wish i had wings to fly,
but you make everything allright
you took the rain and
made it bright for me
and for youthat's just so cheesy baby but I love it ;):smiley20:

BenjaminCostello
05-01-2005, 02:00 PM
Here's a song I wrote recently for all my friends that are graduating and leaving me :(


"Childhood Places" (mp3 (http://benjamincostello.com/nds/childhood_places.mp3))

It feels so cold today
Knowing that you're going away
I know you need to go, but I wish you'd stay
All my senses collide

I know I've got to bend
You keep on saying this is not the end
I know no matter what you are still my friend
I just want to be where you are

[Pre-Chorus:]
And I need you
You are the highlight of my day
You make my smile not go away
And if I could I'd have you stay
But I can't ask that of you

[Chorus:]
So, I will remember you
When I'm looking 'round at smiling faces
I will remember you
When I'm trying to fill the empty spaces
I will remember you
in childhood places

I was a sorry guy
So far gone that I didn't realize
Then you came into my life and you helped me fly
I don't want to come down

I know it's your turn now
To find out what your own life will allow
I'll live without you, I just don't know how
I'll take it one breathe at a time

Pre-Chorus

Chorus


----
I'm working on taking my lyrics and adding a little more poetry to them - they always come out really literal -- but honest at least.

Thanks for letting me share.
Peace,
Benjamin

WhatAmIDarling?
05-01-2005, 03:23 PM
"I will remember you
in childhood places"

I love that line :-)

WhatAmIDarling?
05-01-2005, 04:24 PM
You'll all have to humor me, because I'm new at this/ this a kinda a rough draft :-)

"Chocolate"

Satin and silk trimmed with lace, set with pearls
Do a twirl
Do you feel pretty now?

Oh Lord, she's so dramatic
So hopelessly romantic

Her southern charm is getting old

Chorus:
She turned to stone
Waiting 100 years for him to come home

A chocolate cheesecake for the eyes
And for his depth, a lemon cream pie
Do you feel pretty now?

Stone her to death already
Because she has surly sinned

He continues to shower her with flattering adjectives
He called her beautiful today

Chorus 2X

Her lips were tinted blue
from standing in the cold for hours at a time in just her nightgown

Waiting for the headlights of his car
She never saw them

Do you feel pretty now?

WhatAmIDarling?
05-01-2005, 04:31 PM
Oh, and I just listened to BenjaminCostellos mp3 of "Childhood Places" and really loved it. You're a great guitarist and have a very nice voice. Not to mention the chorus was catchy and sounded like it'd be appealing to a large group of people, which is hard to do. I have problems writing hooks.

BenjaminCostello
05-01-2005, 04:55 PM
You'll all have to humor me, because I'm new at this/ this a kinda a rough draft :-)

"Chocolate"

Do you feel pretty now?

I like it! Lots of really vivid imagery - I would be really interested to hear what you do with the music when you do. Thanks for sharing :)

Benjamin

PS - glad you like childhood places :)

Livo
05-01-2005, 05:35 PM
i wrote a new song today cos it's coming up to the one-year anniversary of the ex-boyfriend asking me out:

ninth cloud

i cannot believe that something so great
could've happened to me, but hey it's just fate
as we sit in the front row
and watch the crowd
as they go up and down
but i'm on the ninth cloud
we're on the ninth cloud

i'm on cloud nine as we walk hand in hand
and i know your are mine
despite your band
you sit me down and we talk about school
it was quite dull but we were lookin' so cool
yes we were lookin' so cool

cos i'm on the ninth cloud
we're on the ninth cloud

and then you were gone just as soon as you came
no farwell hug or words of disdain
no kiss goodbye, no tears in your eye
as i look from your face to the boundless blue sky
to your boundless blue eyes

cos i'm on the ninth cloud
we're on the ninth cloud

i walk and i follow down to the park
i wonder "if.." when i sit in the dark
if this was the right decision to make
but hey i dunno, i guess it was fate
i guess it was fate

cos i'm on the ninth cloud
we're on the ninth cloud
yes i'm on the ninth cloud
yes we're on the ninth cloud

The Pink Girly
05-01-2005, 10:16 PM
You'll all have to humor me, because I'm new at this/ this a kinda a rough draft :-)

"Chocolate"

Satin and silk trimmed with lace, set with pearls
Do a twirl
Do you feel pretty now?

Oh Lord, she's so dramatic
So hopelessly romantic

Her southern charm is getting old

Chorus:
She turned to stone
Waiting 100 years for him to come home

A chocolate cheesecake for the eyes
And for his depth, a lemon cream pie
Do you feel pretty now?

Stone her to death already
Because she has surly sinned

He continues to shower her with flattering adjectives
He called her beautiful today

Chorus 2X

Her lips were tinted blue
from standing in the cold for hours at a time in just her nightgown

Waiting for the headlights of his car
She never saw them

Do you feel pretty now?

thats amazing. im in awe. nuff said.

WhatAmIDarling?
05-01-2005, 10:19 PM
thats amazing. im in awe. nuff said.

Wow. Thank you so very much! :smiley4:

Beevers_uk
05-01-2005, 11:42 PM
Here's a song I wrote recently for all my friends that are graduating and leaving me :(


"Childhood Places" (mp3 (http://benjamincostello.com/nds/childhood_places.mp3))

It feels so cold today
Knowing that you're going away
I know you need to go, but I wish you'd stay
All my senses collide

I know I've got to bend
You keep on saying this is not the end
I know no matter what you are still my friend
I just want to be where you are

[Pre-Chorus:]
And I need you
You are the highlight of my day
You make my smile not go away
And if I could I'd have you stay
But I can't ask that of you

[Chorus:]
So, I will remember you
When I'm looking 'round at smiling faces
I will remember you
When I'm trying to fill the empty spaces
I will remember you
in childhood places

I was a sorry guy
So far gone that I didn't realize
Then you came into my life and you helped me fly
I don't want to come down

I know it's your turn now
To find out what your own life will allow
I'll live without you, I just don't know how
I'll take it one breathe at a time

Pre-Chorus

Chorus


----
I'm working on taking my lyrics and adding a little more poetry to them - they always come out really literal -- but honest at least.

Thanks for letting me share.
Peace,
Benjamin


Wow!! :smiley32: Your voice is so nice!! your lyrics melting!! The recordin is it a studio recordin?? cause it sounds like it!! :smiley32:

BenjaminCostello
05-01-2005, 11:54 PM
Wow!! :smiley32: Your voice is so nice!! your lyrics melting!! The recordin is it a studio recordin?? cause it sounds like it!! :smiley32:

:) :) Thank you Beevers!! :)

So -- I have a project recording studio in my bedroom - that was just sitting on the edge of my bed - but I have pretty decent gear - I'm fortunate. Thanks again for your kind comments! :)

Benjamin

Beevers_uk
05-02-2005, 12:11 AM
:) :) Thank you Beevers!! :)

So -- I have a project recording studio in my bedroom - that was just sitting on the edge of my bed - but I have pretty decent gear - I'm fortunate. Thanks again for your kind comments! :)

Benjamin
No prob!! dont suppse youi have a lbum, but the recordin quality is amaizng :)

BenjaminCostello
05-02-2005, 12:19 AM
dont suppse youi have a lbum

Not yet - within a year I hope to - I have to write more songs, and hopefully find a small label to sign me... wish me luck.

Benj

BIG TIM
05-02-2005, 10:58 AM
Hey Benjamin,
Your song is awesome man, I'm fully impressed the sound quality is awesome as well. Im heading to your website to check out the rest of your work.

brilliant :)

BenjaminCostello
05-02-2005, 12:16 PM
Hey Benjamin,
Your song is awesome man, I'm fully impressed the sound quality is awesome as well. Im heading to your website to check out the rest of your work.

brilliant :)

Thank you BIG TIM! - I really appreciate you listening to it :) :)

PenguinBoy
05-06-2005, 09:51 PM
sorry bout the length, this is a song i just wrote called cynthia

Cynthia was
blonde and Pale
The song begins and
ends with fire
Her voice
whispering words
burning in the
flames

Fire...
Fire....
Is all... she's... got

She wrote stories
they Paralelled her life
Speech impeded and
noone heard her sing
The rhymes and tales
Of Gothic Darkness
read by none although
they were her wings


Fire...
Fire....
Is all... she's... got

Bullied Every day
Her hair was straight
and she wore no make-up
said it let her see
she spoke in riddle
they never listened
and they called her
Babbling Bettie

Fire...
Fire....
Is all... she's... got

Those who apreciated
Came and went
A boy once looked
into her eyes
but hid when with
his friends
he grew up and moved away


Fire...
Fire....
Is all... she's... got

She used to
Burn herself
to examine
her emotions
with the pain
Babbling Bettie
Bablled blood
And Burns


Fire...
Fire....
Is all... she's... got

So she was alone
again
her eye-friend
lost his eyes
She built a bonfire,
took her poems
in her hands
and walked in

Fire...
Fire....
Is all... she's... got

When you die, My love
the stars will sing your songs
the wind will whisper your verse
and your eyes will glisten forever in the flames
Cynthia was
blonde and Pale
The song begins and
ends with fire
Her voice
whispering words
burning in the
flames

Fire...
Fire ...
All...i've... got... is...
Fire...
Fire ...
Is all i've got.



i just read it through without guitar, seems a bit strange.

snowbaby
05-06-2005, 11:28 PM
that's really cool

PenguinBoy
05-07-2005, 12:46 PM
why thanky, it's the first one i've bothered to type up from the scrappy bits of paper

WhatAmIDarling?
05-07-2005, 04:57 PM
ohhhhhh I really like it, PenguinBoy!
I love songs that tell a story.

PenguinBoy
05-07-2005, 08:39 PM
cool! me too, one reason i wrote this. thanks so much xx

i need to get some recording equip, i badly want to get some of my stuff listenable.

Ranting Thespian
05-08-2005, 02:46 AM
My two favorite lyrics of my songs are

Stand By You

Say the ideal
The one true love
As I reveal
The sky up above
The past is known
To what we fear
Lie beneath
The dead shall seal

Stand by you

Stand by you

Sight and vision
Are always turned
And we hide the fear
In these words
Sometimes it's like
A joyful place
But we don't have
The love we make

Stand by and I'll hold you here
Stand by and be here
Stand by and I'll hold you
Stand by the morning's near soon

Just to be there
Is pain enough
Why must
We suffer more in of
All I can say
Is what I feel
I cannot make the path
To reveal what's here

Stand by to the time
Stand by in the light
Straight to the star so bright
Stand by to say goodnight

Why we

Why must it be

Take the time

While night

Stand by I'll hold you
Stand by and be true
Stand by and I'll be here
Stand by to be near
Stand by to say it's right
Stand by to say goodnight
Stand by and say light
Soon the fire . . . bright



*reprise*


Stand by you
You can stand by me
Let our heads rest
And our minds will be at peace
I say to you
Don't mind the pain
For the light has shown
And strength regained

Stand by you
You stand by me
Stand by you
Be there for me

I'll be there for you, oh please


The other is

Ballad of Silence
*the outro goes longer with improv singing*

As she walks up the stairs
She finds out that there is nothing there
Her heart and soul have been tossed
A cold hard rock in place there
Her man asleep sipping the last drop
As she runs down and out in the air
ďLife will change.Ē she now thought
As she left without a care

What will become of me
When I am no more here
Will I look back on my life in shock?
Will I regret
Not taking this here
Or will I hate myself for this thought

Her mother wonít cry
Her mother wonít cry
Her mother wonít cry

She used to think that life was that
She used to think that she was bad
She thought that she screwed up
And hated herself for what she had

What will become of me
When I am no more here
Will I look back on my life in shock?
Will I regret
Not taking this here
Or will I hate myself for this thought

He told her to keep it down
To not tell anyone around
That this was all for her
He never meant to hurt her

What will become of me
When I am not more here
Will I look back on my live in shock?
Will I regret
Not taking this here
Or will I hate myself for this thought

Her mother won't cry

She arrived today
She arrived today
Where they said they would help she

She arrived today
She arrived today
And now she is free
. . . and you can call this place now your home . . .

WhatAmIDarling?
05-08-2005, 03:36 AM
"Her mother wonít cry
Her mother wonít cry
Her mother wonít cry"

Aw, that's sad....I like it.

PenguinBoy
05-08-2005, 07:38 PM
i love ur ballad of silence! so good

here's another one for y'all, a few too many metaphors, but it's bout comercialism and nature.



ARIA DUNLOW
"Keltic spirit
trapped in the middle class genes
of a suburban mongrel
Children of the Soil
segregated by plastic bags
and illusions rule

Aria Dunlow where art thou
Art thou myth
will i find you

Ah Low
Aria Dunlow
Aria Dun Aria Dun
Aria Dunlow

When frozen Grass
Cracks under bare feet
Minions cease drinking blood
A fire burns
In the hand of an old man
lost in the hills wandring

Aria Dunlow where art thou
Art thou myth
will i find you

Ah Low
Aria Dunlow
Aria Dun Aria Dun
Aria Dunlow

solo

bridge

chorus"

i know i spelt celtic with a "K" i like it like that, don't even know why

WhatAmIDarling?
05-09-2005, 01:17 AM
Lately I've started spelling cool "kewl" just because I like it.

I loved the whole song, but this was my favorite line:

"When frozen Grass
Cracks under bare feet
Minions cease drinking blood
A fire burns
In the hand of an old man
lost in the hills wandring"

There's something about the thought of what frozen blades of grass feel like beneath your bare feet that is very thought-provoking and kinda eery. How on EARTH you thought of that line is beyond me! Nice work :-)

Ranting Thespian
05-09-2005, 04:28 AM
I liked ARIA DUNLOW, there's nothing such as too many metaphors

Also, just to let you know, Ballad of Silence is ficticious, but still real. It's about abuse. I wrote it as a tribute to all the people who have the courage and strength to get out of them. I also wrote it to reach people still in abuse, and help encourage them to get out. The first verse tells how she feels and about her leaving. The second is her thinking back about how she thought it was all her fault. The third is about how he would hit her, and tell her it is for her good, then say he's sorry, but not for long. The choruses are her questioning her motives. The end is that she found out it was the right thing to do. The whole mother won't cry thing, it's that her family is not going to hate her or look down on her for this, but to love her no matter what and that this was a good thing. And even though I am a guy, I do know abuse, my first and only girlfriend verbably abused me a lot, so I do know what it's like.

PenguinBoy
05-09-2005, 05:22 PM
Thanks allot!

cracks under bare feet... kinda got the idea from people doing stuff in bare feet so they "connect" (lol) to the ground, and 2ndly for walking to school on a frosty morning, and grass just kinda cracks under ur feet and it's so yummy...

"there's nothing such as too many metaphors" hmmm i dno, i don't mind my song being an enigma but sometimes i write stuff and even i forget what it's actually about. plus, music for the people probably should be understood.

The Pink Girly
05-09-2005, 07:34 PM
Wow. Thank you so very much! :smiley4:

any time! can i hear it?

WhatAmIDarling?
05-10-2005, 01:20 AM
I'm actually still going through the phase where I'm writing random lyrics, and random music, but not finding ways to put the two together just yet. I still need more practice :-)

I like writing lyrics for the self-expression. For some reason I can't write a poem to save my life.

damofan
05-10-2005, 11:47 AM
Lyrics are the best way to self express i think! I always feel so much better when ive sat down and written something!

Juzzza
05-10-2005, 08:02 PM
Here's a song I wrote recently for all my friends that are graduating and leaving me :(



F***in hell Benjamin!!! You have an amazing voice there mate, really rich and great range.

The song is good although the verse was a lot like Snow Patrol's 'Light Up'... you could almost sing the chorus along to your verse, but there is no disguising your awesome voice talent man, exceptional stuff... I saw your stuff over at Garageband, it would have been cool to have put it in the comp, they would have loved your voice. :smiley20:

BenjaminCostello
05-10-2005, 10:36 PM
F***in hell Benjamin!!! You have an amazing voice there mate, really rich and great range.
Yay! Thank you :) :)


The song is good although the verse was a lot like Snow Patrol's 'Light Up'... you could almost sing the chorus along to your verse
Wow - that's totally cool! Thanksfully - I wrote the music before that album came out (phew!). hehe

I saw your stuff over at Garageband, it would have been cool to have put it in the comp, they would have loved your voice. :smiley20:
Do you mean the competition thing they have there? I didn't really understand it - it's kind of expensive to enter it :smiley22: - do you think it's worth doing?

Thanks again :) :)
Benjamin

Miss Pink
05-10-2005, 11:27 PM
LIVO!!!!!!!!


awwwwwwwww!! "I WONDER "IF"" in the dark room is tho bloody bestest!

WhatAmIDarling?
05-11-2005, 01:38 AM
Lyrics are the best way to self express i think! I always feel so much better when ive sat down and written something!

Same here! I use my journal as more of an emotional release than a place to record my day-to-day activity's.

Juzzza
05-11-2005, 09:23 AM
Hey Ben,

It is free, you simply have to do enough review pairs of other songs in order to upload and enter one of your own. I think you have to review twenty pairs, which is actually good fun anyway.

Then your song gets ten reviews and if they are good, you go into a second round, then a third and then you get the chance to win some cool prizes.

There is also a ranking system and your tune may get listed based on lyrics, your vocals, guitars, best movie soundtrack potential, best chill-out track and so on.

If you're lucky (or just good, in your case) you may get one of these:

http://www.garageband.com/images/badges/totd_bluewhite.gif

I've been around GB for years and having listened (and even been ranked in the top twenty) to the best, I honestly think you will kick ass there.

Do it man.

PM me if you need any more info.

Here is my page:

http://www.garageband.com/artist/justinthorne

JT

Nathaniel
05-12-2005, 09:37 AM
new song which is as yet untiltled. Comments and criticism appreciated as always -

Thinking of the things youíd say, and photographs that fade away,

Memories of June,

I am bleeding everyday, for the one that got away,

Its winter now, its over

Remember your hands upon my chest, but those echoes now rest,

Thought they would always echo

I feel like my heart has drowned, in petrol rainbows on the ground,

Pictures of you.

I have always been a coward when it comes to you

You are so beautiful -

thats all I have so far but I will complete it soon

Uno- X
05-12-2005, 09:39 AM
*coughI'mstillwaitingforasongaboutmecough*

it's beatiful Nate. as ever. love ur new siggie.

Nathaniel
05-12-2005, 09:42 AM
*coughI'mstillwaitingforasongaboutmecough*

it's beatiful Nate. as ever. love ur new siggie.

they're all about you honey

Uno- X
05-12-2005, 09:48 AM
*blush* thanks..but they are not.

Nathaniel
05-12-2005, 09:49 AM
*blush* thanks..but they are not.

no they are not. I am sorry hun, this one is about, well you know, a certain girl whose name begins with J.

Uno- X
05-12-2005, 09:50 AM
*sigh* oh well why would they be really..

who's that lass? do I know I her?....

Nathaniel
05-12-2005, 09:52 AM
*sigh* oh well why would they be really..

who's that lass? do I know I her?....

not intimately but I have mentioned her on more than one occasion. You must remember Joey!

Uno- X
05-12-2005, 09:55 AM
*bangs my head against that wall* doooooooh....of course I remember Joey. thought u were over her?

Nathaniel
05-12-2005, 10:02 AM
*bangs my head against that wall* doooooooh....of course I remember Joey. thought u were over her?

yeah,so did I. But it seems that she is my favourite muse, and I will never really get over her. Still, it could be worse, I could never have met her in the first place.

Uno- X
05-12-2005, 10:04 AM
worse? it would have been better. she wouldnt have broken ur heart.

Nathaniel
05-12-2005, 10:10 AM
yeah I know, but I wouldnt be me if my heart wasn't permanently in pieces, and she is so beautiful.

Uno- X
05-12-2005, 10:11 AM
Nathan! forget her! think about fatsy....

Nathaniel
05-12-2005, 10:24 AM
No I will not, and he is a CAT! Contrary to popular belief I am not into bestiality.

Uno- X
05-12-2005, 10:25 AM
the cure have a song about cats...eeeeh love cats!

Nathaniel
05-12-2005, 10:27 AM
yes they do and it is the worst song the cure have ever done

Uno- X
05-12-2005, 10:28 AM
I like it....*covers my eyes*

Juzzza
05-12-2005, 11:37 AM
Hopeless Romantic

When I'm cold with the 'ness' of lonely
I wrap sin around my shoulders like a cloak
drink JD on ice like a bourbon fish
and buy cigarettes even though I don't smoke

leave the gentleman's club still empty
my wallet light about one hundred or three
I'm one of the suckers deluded to think
'hey, I think she really liked me'

Maybe I'm just unlucky
Maybe I'm a romantic
I'm definitely hopeless
but tonight I just need someone to smile at me

WhatAmIDarling?
05-12-2005, 05:54 PM
Hopeless Romantic

When I'm cold with the 'ness' of lonely
I wrap sin around my shoulders like a cloak
drink JD on ice like a bourbon fish
and buy cigarettes even though I don't smoke

leave the gentleman's club still empty
my wallet light about one hundred or three
I'm one of the suckers deluded to think
'hey, I think she really liked me'

Maybe I'm just unlucky
Maybe I'm a romantic
I'm definitely hopeless
but tonight I just need someone to smile at me


I love!

WhatAmIDarling?
05-12-2005, 06:02 PM
new song which is as yet untiltled. Comments and criticism appreciated as always -

Thinking of the things youíd say, and photographs that fade away,

Memories of June,

I am bleeding everyday, for the one that got away,

Its winter now, its over

Remember your hands upon my chest, but those echoes now rest,

Thought they would always echo

I feel like my heart has drowned, in petrol rainbows on the ground,

Pictures of you.

I have always been a coward when it comes to you

You are so beautiful -

thats all I have so far but I will complete it soon

Friendly comment: I love the song but the line, "I feel like my heart has drowned" is maybe a little... cliche? Maybe it's just me, but it seems like EVERYONE writes about something to do with drowning. I guess its an inspiringly awful way to die/is great for describing what it feels like to be heart broken or emotionally sufficated, but I think it's a little tired. The word "drowning" has been used far too much in lyrics.

PenguinBoy
05-12-2005, 10:20 PM
Hopeless Romantic

When I'm cold with the 'ness' of lonely
I wrap sin around my shoulders like a cloak
drink JD on ice like a bourbon fish
and buy cigarettes even though I don't smoke

leave the gentleman's club still empty
my wallet light about one hundred or three
I'm one of the suckers deluded to think
'hey, I think she really liked me'

Maybe I'm just unlucky
Maybe I'm a romantic
I'm definitely hopeless
but tonight I just need someone to smile at me

oooh i loves it! " and buy cigarettes even though I don't smoke" it's a gooden and the ending ties it up nicey nicey.

BenjaminCostello
05-12-2005, 10:53 PM
Hopeless Romantic

When I'm cold with the 'ness' of lonely
I wrap sin around my shoulders like a cloak
drink JD on ice like a bourbon fish
and buy cigarettes even though I don't smoke

leave the gentleman's club still empty
my wallet light about one hundred or three
I'm one of the suckers deluded to think
'hey, I think she really liked me'

Maybe I'm just unlucky
Maybe I'm a romantic
I'm definitely hopeless
but tonight I just need someone to smile at me

This is a great lyric :) I especially like the first section.

Benjamin :)

BenjaminCostello
05-12-2005, 10:54 PM
Here is my newest lyric (I need to have more for a song, but I like the start):

you gripped my hand
cold and jaded
you stole my pain
you penetrated

your lashing words
hope outstretched
your brutal truth
fear suppressed
your one request

(chorus)
see that electric sky
it drowns us in blue
provoking me to die
i am reborn in you

Ranting Thespian
05-13-2005, 04:09 AM
here's my angst christian god song

(Who Is) God

Oh the old and the dead
With the hearts that have bled
Shots fired in the east
Waiting for the ease

Which way to turn
Hunger moans and drones from birth
People begging to die
What makes it right?

Who is the one
Why the heart
Souls to be gone
Who is god?

Sing a song for a prayer
Wish on a step of a stair
The temple is gone
By the flash of the light in the morn

Skin is but not fair
Working for a breath of air
Black in the white
Hurt the day, the night

What has come
Why has it gone
Now these souls are none
Who is god?

Rise in the east
Set in the west
The day comes the day has left
Some will hear
Some don't
Who's right, we all think we know

Son layed on a fence
A simple love a simple dance
They sinned for their love
They were pinned from the start of them all

What is right
Where's the light
Souls are dimly, oh dimly bright
Why isn't it in sight
What a lead to be gone
What to see the dawn
Souls are none
Who is god?

Nathaniel
05-13-2005, 09:13 AM
Friendly comment: I love the song but the line, "I feel like my heart has drowned" is maybe a little... cliche? Maybe it's just me, but it seems like EVERYONE writes about something to do with drowning. I guess its an inspiringly awful way to die/is great for describing what it feels like to be heart broken or emotionally sufficated, but I think it's a little tired. The word "drowning" has been used far too much in lyrics.

cheers for the constructive criticism but the line will remain, it is integral to the overall feel of the song so I cannot remove it. I tried taking it out and replacing it with something else but it didnt work. sorry if it has annoyed you and thanks again for your comments.

Nathaniel
05-13-2005, 09:15 AM
here is the finished version:

Silent Lie

Thinking of the things youíd say, and photographs that fade away,
Memories of June.
Iím bleeding everyday, for the one that got away,
Its winter now, its over.
Your hands upon my chest, but those echoes now rest,
Thought theyíd always echo.
Heart beats were once entwined, but my heart now silently lies,
Over and over again
Feels like my heart has drowned, in petrol rainbows on the ground,
Pictures of you

I have always been a coward when it comes to you
You are so beautiful
So beautiful and I try to shake it, but I just cant shake it
Should have spoken

I saw a sight tonight, the sea collided with sky
A perfect storm
Pass under angry cloud, spit at me and rain so loud
Soaked to the bone
Iím bleeding everyday, for the one that got away,
But youíll never know, you got away

Iíve always been a coward when it comes to you
You are so beautiful
So beautiful and I try, god knows I try,
But I just canít breathe for this silent lie
Silent lie, on and on

Iím bleeding everyday, for the one that got away,
But youíll never know,
Cause Iíll never say.

Uno- X
05-13-2005, 09:17 AM
beautiful....

ade and rice and peas
05-13-2005, 09:54 AM
great lyrics dude!!

Nathaniel
05-13-2005, 11:00 AM
thanks guys!

Juzzza
05-13-2005, 11:47 AM
Nice one Nat, this line "Iím bleeding everyday, for the one that got away," is great.

I'm glad you stuck to your guns, not that someone's opinion isn't valuable, it is always a gift when someone takes the time to comment, but with lyrics you can only write what your heart or head demands and it doesn't matter if it's cliche, been done before or complete sh*te... words have power if they mean something to someone.

Nathaniel
05-13-2005, 12:20 PM
thanks Juzzza, really appreciate that.

Nathaniel
05-13-2005, 03:16 PM
hey juzzza -

Love that you have used this line

"I know I'm wrong but even a broken clock is right twice a day"

even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day

The Pink Girly
05-13-2005, 09:15 PM
as ever i feckin love that nate. and im with juzzza about the bleeding line, it is so .....perfect (for want of a better word)
and "thought they'd always echo" reminds me of lauren!

now im just thinking, if only joey could hear that song.....

wifey x

Juzzza
05-16-2005, 01:55 PM
Some people keep their cards
close to their chests
some people have to tighten their belts
they can't afford the rest
some people keep their ear to the ground
waiting for some answers
some people like to role the dice
happy to take chances

they say a commercial world is all about choices
who decided you must have money to make your choice

Juzzza
05-16-2005, 01:57 PM
I met an angel
beautiful inside and out
hair dark and eyes so blue
I said I want to take you out
she said yea I'd go out with you
she told me her mother was irish
I said hey so is my dad
if we get together we'd make a whole one
she said that can't be bad

WhatAmIDarling?
05-18-2005, 12:16 AM
Some people keep their cards
close to their chests
some people have to tighten their belts
they can't afford the rest
some people keep their ear to the ground
waiting for some answers
some people like to role the dice
happy to take chances

they say a commercial world is all about choices
who decided you must have money to make your choice


I love!

WhatAmIDarling?
05-18-2005, 12:17 AM
I met an angel
beautiful inside and out
hair dark and eyes so blue
I said I want to take you out
she said yea I'd go out with you
she told me her mother was irish
I said hey so is my dad
if we get together we'd make a whole one
she said that can't be bad

I also love!

Juzzza
05-19-2005, 01:02 PM
I should have been better
I should have been more astute with you
I should have tried harder
I should have been more in love with you

buy I can't hide it, I can't hold my tongue
I can't fight it, I can't hold my tongue no more

cille
05-19-2005, 09:15 PM
i'm really shy about my songs, but here's one of them anyway:

My Funeral


Enter my friend

This is the end

In a room where

Friends are everywhere



And Iíll be the one lying down

Thereíll be sitting around

Thereíll be crying

But I will be quiet



Sing me a song

Sing loud! I am gone

Donít let sorrow

Eat you heart and soul



And youíll never see me again

Unless I can turn in-

to a butterflyÖ

Then Iíll leave my cocoon

And Iíll find you as soon as I can

To sit on your handÖ



At my funeral

Vienna
05-19-2005, 09:35 PM
Aww Thanks Vienna,
all the feed back is a real confidence boost, so i really appreicate it. and I am getting around to making it an mp3 as well so i will let you know

thanks again :smiley17:

yes please do let us know, i'm looking forward to it!

Livo
05-22-2005, 01:49 PM
my friend wrote some lyrics which i melded with some of my own and wrote a song with them sooo:

"come and save me"

living here in paradise ain't such an easy thing
sitting at my table and locked away from sin
shame is such an easy thing to acquire when in this place
but i think we can get out of here, just if we don't lose face

the odds are stacked against us
but i think we will pull through

why should you, could you, would you
need you want you make me better
hold me, soothe me, don't let go
help me, rock me, to and fro
take time and listen just to hear me
just to hear me, just to hear me

the odds are stacked against us
but i think we will pull through

there's a fire in my soul and i need you
to run away
there's a fire in my soul and i need you
to let me go
there's a fire in my soul and i need you
to put it out
there's a fire in my soul and i need you
to come and save me
come and save me...

cille
05-22-2005, 02:53 PM
i like ^
keep it up, livo!

Juzzza
05-23-2005, 10:49 AM
how can I move on
when my heart keeps looking over my shoulder
to see if you're anywhere near

living without you
is not what I dread, it's seeing you again
that I fear

are you really my achilles heal
or just a phantom limb in the centre of my heart

there was a time
when I'd give up my world
to spend some time in your eyes

then you showed me
who you really are, what you're made of
and that's bitterness, hate and lies

are you really my achilles heal
or just a phantom limb in the centre of my heart

marc
05-23-2005, 04:23 PM
hi all, this is called "We should never try"

Time leads us apart
And hardens our hearts
Makes us see no difference
Between our present and our past
We prayed our luck could last
But was there any chance
To break through the gates
Itís hard to simulate
And we should never try
To change our destiny
And shape what cannot be
Only to satisfy
Our need to understand
And simplify an end
We just cannot bear
The loss and the curse
The oblivion and worse
How must we prepare
Our cracked little bones
To rot and break alone
On a cold October day
Come, weíll find a safer road
Though weíve always been told
There was no other way.
Time leads us apart
And hardens our hearts
Makes us see no difference
Between our present and our past
We prayed our luck could last
But was there any chance?

Juzzza
05-24-2005, 12:04 PM
you're one in a million
and I thanked my stars that day
for granting me the luck
to find you

and I've thanked them every day since
for granting me the grace
not to lose you

Beevers_uk
05-25-2005, 04:08 PM
ok, here goes, another one i found that i wrote a while back:

Tracing your face with my fingers
I memorise every detail of your skin.
Eyelashes flutter with touch
Cheeks are flushed, skin is soft.
I lightly brush my lips against yours
Captivated by sight, enraptured by love.

Eyes are closed, all senses aware,
Your breath soft, I feel the rise and fall
of your body as your arms draw me closer.
Your lips are moist and barely chapped.
Your breath deepens, as does your kiss
And my head starts to spin.

Your hands cup my face gently
And you slowly draw us apart.
You stare into my eyes and your face
crinkles to a smile that is beautiful.
Lost for words, i watch and then
My heart soars as you say
"I love you"

:smiley20: I love this one the most, its so.... beautiful and poetic and descriptive of the persons feelings. The climax at the end, it awsome, the "I love you" Its beautiful how you just captured it, and whne you read it, it makes you puse just be fore you say "I love you"

Amazing

kel :)
05-25-2005, 08:06 PM
wow thanks carl...thats so sweet.glad u noticed what i tried to capture.:smiley9:

Beevers_uk
05-25-2005, 08:33 PM
wow thanks carl...thats so sweet.glad u noticed what i tried to capture.:smiley9:
Nada, it was really good, i lovved them both. You should post more on here!! :smiley32:

kel :)
05-25-2005, 08:34 PM
theyre all on scraps of paper alll over my room...ill have to find more....i really should keep them together!!

Beevers_uk
05-25-2005, 08:48 PM
theyre all on scraps of paper alll over my room...ill have to find more....i really should keep them together!!

Buy a "song Book" or a folder to keep them all in!!

kel :)
05-25-2005, 08:51 PM
totally will have to do that...im so lazy!! lol

Beevers_uk
05-25-2005, 09:04 PM
totally will have to do that...im so lazy!! lol
lol!! good, well do it!! :smiley2:

Juzzza
06-01-2005, 10:55 AM
I'm not going to say 'you are the one'
I don't think that exists
but I don't want anyone else

I'll never make a fool of you or break your trust
and listen, when I say I love you
it's because I'm feeling it, and I must

one thing we're good at, is letting each other down
but I'm a helluva lot happier with you around

kel :)
06-01-2005, 01:47 PM
do ya know? in a way, it annoys me that a lot of my songs are about my ex, cause id rather not think of him...but i suppose he supplies the material!!!

heres another one......just thoughts and feelings felt while in big arguements...and realising ye are no longer meant to be.


No longer together
Time has driven us apart,
We pause for breath
But nothing comes out.
I search your eyes for comfort
But theres no warmth left towards me,
So we edge along together
Dying to be free.

Your presence makes me fragile
As you're greedy for emotion,
Tears spill down my face
But you're fixated at what you've done.
Watching my pride wash away
Power surges through you,
I cant believe you've come so distant
How crazy i was to have loved you.

Now blow away the cobwebs
And pack up your clothes,
Love me dearly
But dont show it anymore.
My ticking bombs stopped moving
And my beating heart is still,
Bloodshot eyes can finally clear
No longer tears to spill.

Beevers_uk
06-03-2005, 06:26 PM
Ok.... This is my first post in this section!! if you have never heard this piece of music its amazing!! i just wrote some lyrics about a person, that fitted with the music!! Ive removed the name!! the music is taken from... Scented Woman:tango. Performed by Itzhak Perlman!!
Ok, be nice, this is my first time!!

To the music of Scent of a woman Tango.

Sing at 0.34mins!!

OH My ....
A rose under the sun
For Your scent of a lady
For that has done it for me.
My love is meant
For you to be.
Here in my arms,
And for us to be in heaven

(0.51)
Oh how will i know?
Wherever i go.
From friend and foe.
I shall Follow you and go.

OH my ....
You speak to me in words of love
For you scent of a lady,
Pains me
And kills me.
and my senses become hazy
When with you!

(1.11)
Oh how will i know?
Wherever i go.
From friend and foe.
I shall Follow you and go.

Oh My ...
Beg me to stay.
For your scent of a lady,
i beg and pray.
Dont lead me a stray,
And i shall never go away!

Oh comment je connaÓtrai?
partout oý je vais.
De l'ami et de l'ennemi.
Je vous suivrai et irai.

PenguinBoy
06-04-2005, 02:03 PM
hey i'm loving the "Damienesque" french ending too, great lyrics! and i'm just off to download the tango :D.

i just wrote this one yesterday, it's called "crumpets in the morning", it is about how tasty crumpets are, how great it is eating nice food on a hangover and also sums up my last few so-called "relationships". lol, loves songs which can be serious and humerous at the same time, tell me how i've done, thanky

Crumpets in the morning
Crumpets in the morning
Crumpets in the morning

This is the story of you and me
it's not very long
but nor were we
nor were we
nor were we

I liked you before
But we were both intoxicated
But u were sad, i didn't like it
so i conforted
so i conforted


so u looked at my eyes
as i had to you before
and i thought it was real
i thought it was real
i thought it was real

so we closed in
lips touched and we were one
oh it was sureal
it was oh sureal
it was so sureal

So i ate crumpets in the morning
thinking: "you're like
crumpets in the morning"
a sweet little confort to my pain
crumpets in the morning

i lifted your call
to my ear
asked you if i was a drunken fumble
and it appears i was
and it appears i am
and it appears i am

So i, living insult to a hangover
eat crumpets in the morning
crumpets in the morning
a mocking little insult to my pain
i, a living insult tou your hangover

eat crumpets in the morning
crumpets in the morning
crumpets in the morning

Beevers_uk
06-04-2005, 02:29 PM
hey i'm loving the "Damienesque" french ending too, great lyrics! and i'm just off to download the tango :D.

i just wrote this one yesterday, it's called "crumpets in the morning", it is about how tasty crumpets are, how great it is eating nice food on a hangover and also sums up my last few so-called "relationships". lol, loves songs which can be serious and humerous at the same time, tell me how i've done, thanky

Crumpets in the morning
Crumpets in the morning
Crumpets in the morning

This is the story of you and me
it's not very long
but nor were we
nor were we
nor were we

I liked you before
But we were both intoxicated
But u were sad, i didn't like it
so i conforted
so i conforted


so u looked at my eyes
as i had to you before
and i thought it was real
i thought it was real
i thought it was real

so we closed in
lips touched and we were one
oh it was sureal
it was oh sureal
it was so sureal

So i ate crumpets in the morning
thinking: "you're like
crumpets in the morning"
a sweet little confort to my pain
crumpets in the morning

i lifted your call
to my ear
asked you if i was a drunken fumble
and it appears i was
and it appears i am
and it appears i am

So i, living insult to a hangover
eat crumpets in the morning
crumpets in the morning
a mocking little insult to my pain
i, a living insult tou your hangover

eat crumpets in the morning
crumpets in the morning
crumpets in the morning


MMMMM Crumpets rule, exspecially with Nutella on them!! Thats so nice!! Its ana amazing piece of music!!

PenguinBoy
06-08-2005, 07:34 PM
MMMMM Crumpets rule, exspecially with Nutella on them!! Thats so nice!! Its ana amazing piece of music!!

:smiley27::smiley27: that's so coool! thanks for ur support!!

Beevers_uk
06-08-2005, 08:38 PM
Look at me...

Look me in the eyes,
and tell me how you feel.
look me in my eyes,
for i have something to tell.
I wanna say this before you leave
and i need to say this before my heart
bleeds.

I dont wanna hear what i want to hear,
as i know i will never expirience it.
i cant bear to be alone,
and have to deal with it.

So let us dance,
amd rest your head on my chest.
naked and alone in the rain we will dance,
and i will confess what.
I wanna say before you leave,
and i need to say this before my heart
bleeds.

I dont wanna hear what i want to hear,
as i know i will never expirience it.
i cant bear to be alone,
and have to deal with it.

ŅTan si usted desea ir, - So if you wanna go,
despuťs de que todos lo que he dicho? - after all i have said?
Ņy despuťs quť he demostrado? - and after what i've shown?
°entonces pondrť en mi cama - then i will lay on my bed.
y pine para usted y rogarť para usted! - and i will pine for you and pray for you!
y opiniůn te quiero. - and say i love you.

When you left.

forgive me when were together,
doubt me when were apart.
Love me when were together,
and hate me when were apart.
Cant cope with it nomore,
Dont want to hurt and cry.
You never bored me,
But all i ask is why?

when you left me,
you said it was for good.
and you was gonna leave me,
you would stay if you could.
but i loved you to much,
For you to stay!
So u went your way.

As i watched you hail the cab,
Rain fell down on our face.
your cases were in the cab,
then your lips kissed me.
your taste on my lips,
made me cry for u to be with me.
made me cry for your passion,
for your passion.

when you left me,
you said it was for good.
and you was gonna leave me,
you would stay if you could.
but i loved you to much,
For you to stay!
So u went your way.

It was so long ago,
but my heart still cries for you.
Never felt this low before,
and never wanted you so much.

Dont ask why?

Dont ask me why,
I never meant to leave you this way.
Dont ask me why,
i was never meant to love what you say.
And Dont ask me why,
I never meant to lose my way.
And give you my heart,
Thats all i wanted.
Not for us to be apart
Just ask me what i wanted.

Well i wanna touch your lips,
In the pourin rain.
and hold your hips,
as we dance in the rain.
Feel your body close to mine,
While drinkin wine.
And listenin to Damine Rice.

I should have tried,
to make heaven wait.
I should have tried,
not to change fate.
And I should have tried,
Though its not to late.
Cause one day i will hold you,
In another world.
Just me and you,
holdin each other close...

Well i wanna touch your lips,
In the pourin rain.
and hold your hips,
as we dance in the rain.
Feel your body close to mine,
While drinkin wine.
And listenin to Damine Rice.

So now im saying goodbye to you,
Im sayin i will always love you.
i will always miss you,
and care for you.
But till i see you again,
God will protect you.
and we will kiss in the rain,
and dance in the rain.

Well i wanna touch your lips,
In the pourin rain.
and hold your hips,
as we dance in the rain.
Feel your body close to mine,
While drinkin wine.
And listenin to Damine Rice.

Distance of Two hearts

Distance of Two Hearts

Distant shores divide us,
Toilent trouble waters in between.
Sets the sceene for us,
Waters so mean.
Not the strongest love,
Dare cross.
And lose their love,
As they know not to cross.

Well its not the distance,
That unnerves me.
And its not the fences,
That close me.
Its the feelin of you kiss,
And the touch of your warm breath.

Well im dreamin away,
Seein you laughing.
On a summers day in may,
Hearing you sing.
In my sleepless dream,
Makes me want you even more.
Watchin your smile beam,
Makes my tears pour.

Well its not the distance,
That unnerves me.
And its not the fences,
That surround me.
Its the feelin of you kiss,
And the touch of your warm breath.

So as i look at your picture,
My tears running down the glass.
I wipe clear the picture,
But i cant wipe clear the past.
Of when i used to hold you,
But now wwere divided.
And i hold you no-more,
Your forever a image in my head.

Well its not the distance,
That unnerves me.
And its not the fences,
That close me.
But we may live like never before,
On two different shore.
But its the feelin of you kiss,
And the Breakin of my heart.

The Fire
06-08-2005, 10:23 PM
Hi all, this is my first ever post any any forum so bear with me. Here's a song i've just written, i'll briefly explain the meaning of it and post lyrics at the bottom. I'm sure we can all relate to it in some way.

Live and learn

The simple statement of ĎLive and learní can provide a great philosophy for life and if we try to abide by this simple saying then we canít go much wrong in life. We ALL encounter problems and difficult situations & challenges in life Ė thatís the nature of existence and there is no escaping that fact Ė itís just that some (or most fo us) donít learn from our experiences or heed the message of what we feel inside about certain situations Ė instead we keep repeating our mistakes or carry on doing the things that deep down we know really donít do us any good at all Ė we donít learn from our experiences Ė and if we donít learn then we will fall into the seemingly unending trap of an Ďunpleasantí existence. How ever once we learn of the negative effects of certain situations then we move on to better things Ė and grow mentally as a consequence. Thatís another plus point of continually learning from our life experiences Ė when we learn Ė we grow Ė when we grow and increase of experience of life Ė we are more able to draw on our experience and face challenges of life more effectively. I think it was Gandhi who said ďLive as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live foreverĒ.



Lyrics....


LIVE AND LEARN

When will we ever learn
we keep on making the same mistakes
So if we don't ever live and learn
Then how can we hope to get anywhere

When will we ever change
Because this world is going insane
But now i know, i'll have to change
Because if i dont then i'll be to blame

If we change then the world changes too
its just a questions of what we do
We've all got to take some repsonsibility
And make a world we all want live in

live as if you were to die tomorrow
learn as if you were to live forever
so if we dont ever live and learn
then how do we expect to live in this world

live as if you were to die tomorrow
learn as if you were to live forever
so if we dont ever live and learn
then how do we expect to live in this world

Juzzza
06-09-2005, 09:44 AM
I asked you if you go for beauty
or look for what lurks beneath
you said you'd settle for a woman who's willing
and still has her own set of teeth

I asked if that was true
and if it was how you really feel
you said as long as she's nice to you
she could look like a harbour seal

you do that a lot and I don't think I really know you
but I wonder if the jokes did stop who I'd find and If I'd like him too?

I asked about your parents
what they do and who they are
you said your dad was in the circus
and your mother owns a bar

I asked if that was true
and if you were lying again
you said knock you down and call you Ted
I said but your name is Ben

you do that a lot and I don't think I really know you
but I wonder if the jokes did stop who I'd find and If I'd like him too?

rockthesmurf
06-10-2005, 10:31 AM
This is a song about war, please don't cry.

Fred

When he heard the news "We are at war",
He put on his coat, and went out the door.
He went to the office and signed his name,
His neighbours never saw him again.

While he was there, he held the front line,
He didn't mind, most of the time,
But when they shouted, "Over the top!",
He got 15 yards before he did drop.

Back in the bunkers his mate Alf did say,
"What a glorius win, what a glorius day",
Then poor Bobby looked down and said,
'It's a pity that Fred, got shot in the head'.

Back in the base, the flag flies low,
What would have happened if Fred didn't go?
He's be back at home on this glorius day,
Ironically his house was bombed anyway.

PenguinBoy
06-12-2005, 09:27 PM
rockthesmurf that was beauty! i love the whole querky tragic humour is just timeless.

i just wrote a simple short song,



I want a lover who wants to know me
I want a lover who loves me too
I want a lover who i can sing this song to
If i can't sing it to you

I need some body who can keep me sane
I need a body who can keep her happy too
I need some body who can let herself need me
I need somebody who can get me through

You want somebody who will hold you
You need a lover who can love you true
but I need a lover i can sing this song to
cause u won't let me sing it to you.

BIG TIM
06-13-2005, 03:48 AM
Kel, This is an awesome song. you have a real gift for expression through words well done :smiley4:

do ya know? in a way, it annoys me that a lot of my songs are about my ex, cause id rather not think of him...but i suppose he supplies the material!!!

heres another one......just thoughts and feelings felt while in big arguements...and realising ye are no longer meant to be.


No longer together
Time has driven us apart,
We pause for breath
But nothing comes out.
I search your eyes for comfort
But theres no warmth left towards me,
So we edge along together
Dying to be free.

Your presence makes me fragile
As you're greedy for emotion,
Tears spill down my face
But you're fixated at what you've done.
Watching my pride wash away
Power surges through you,
I cant believe you've come so distant
How crazy i was to have loved you.

Now blow away the cobwebs
And pack up your clothes,
Love me dearly
But dont show it anymore.
My ticking bombs stopped moving
And my beating heart is still,
Bloodshot eyes can finally clear
No longer tears to spill.

Gatsby
06-13-2005, 04:06 PM
This is a song i wrote a year or so ago called : Paranoid suspicions

"help me out, i want to be free,
help me out, i dont want to be me,
cos we're all apart, of some weird sin,
we dont know what, we're living in..

tie your shoes, dont grow your hair,
stay in school and isnt it rude to stare,
you grow up, you find the world has changed,
you try to be somebody, but not the one you've made..

We dont need, what we've been told,
Our thoughts and minds, can be bought or sold,
The tv's on, but nobodies home,
You try to be somebody, you're not alone..

The picture's taken, but your out of focus,
Your staring hard, but trying not to notice,
You take it out, of the picture frame,
You try to tell yourself, you're not the one to blame"

PenguinBoy
06-13-2005, 07:22 PM
This is a song i wrote a year or so ago called : Paranoid suspicions

"help me out, i want to be free,
help me out, i dont want to be me,
cos we're all apart, of some weird sin,
we dont know what, we're living in..

tie your shoes, dont grow your hair,
stay in school and isnt it rude to stare,
you grow up, you find the world has changed,
you try to be somebody, but not the one you've made..

We dont need, what we've been told,
Our thoughts and minds, can be bought or sold,
The tv's on, but nobodies home,
You try to be somebody, you're not alone..

The picture's taken, but your out of focus,
Your staring hard, but trying not to notice,
You take it out, of the picture frame,
You try to tell yourself, you're not the one to blame"

omg that it so good! u really grabbed my thoughts those lyrics could stand allone just fine, i'd love to hear the song.

Gatsby
06-13-2005, 09:39 PM
i did a recording a good while ago of it... just a computer mic and me and my guitar so forgive the roughness

i uploaded to yousendit... and be nice lol:smiley9:

http://s7.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=33F091YZDCPAK389SBEQBNIVNW

The Fire
06-15-2005, 08:04 PM
A song about and ex, i wrote this quite sometime ago..soon after we split.


Remember

Can you remember the fun we had,
we use to jet out to the sun
we use to, pack our bags and fly away
and drink...cocktails for fun

because baby
i cant stop thinking of you
because lately
i just dont know what to do

last time we were meant to fly
i said, this one is on me
you didn't even pack your bags or your things
even though it was free

because baby
i cant stop thinking of you
because lately
i just dont know what to do

I just told all my friends
about how you **** on me
they said, dont you worry my good friend
ya' know there's, plenty more fish in the sea

because baby
i cant stop thinking of you
because lately
i cant stop thinking, i cant stop dreaming of..

You and me
and all the things we've done together
me and you
i really thought we'd be together

la la la la la la la laaaaa
la la la la laaa
la la la la la la la laaaaa
la la la la laaa

because baby, baby
i cant stop thinking of you
because lately, lately
i cant stop thinking, i cant stop dreaming of..

You and me
and all the things we've done together
me and you
i really thought
I really thought
i really thought we'd be together
i really thought it'd be forever

joiyua
06-17-2005, 11:00 AM
Embedded

Someone is seeking and someone is strange
Someone is frightened and long for a change
My ending is ending and ending starts over
Drinking is dreaming and drinker is sober
Shadows are shrugging, have no place to go
Simple as stonewalls, someone should know
Whatís worse is worse and worst is bad
Clowns are crying, coughing and mad
Red mouth is bursting and blood is released
They thought they would live but they are now deceased
You would yield what you yearned for, you jumped when they said
That what you had yearned for was already dead

Livo
06-17-2005, 07:21 PM
this song is about a mixture of a guy i used to go out with and i guy i shouldn't like.. you can probably sense that from the confusion in the song :smiley36:

"negative energy"

my love shines for you
like winter snow
like summer dew
like autumn glow
like springtime rain
time and time again
drawn to you
drawn to you

shining by moonlight
shining by starbright
shining by midnight
shining by starlight

i'm sorry for the harm that i've caused
cos i know how much i've hurt you
i was wrong to put our love on pause
and i know you feel that way too

shining by moonlight
shining by starbright
shining by midnight
shining by starlight

i know my heart would stay in one piece
if i could just stop thinking about him
and i know that my soul would stop taking the piss
if i could just stop dreaming about him

thoughts in disarray
i stare at the wreckage
up to my elbows in muck
i know in my head
that i should not love him
but my heart just don't give a ****

channel all my negative energy to you
cos this is all your fault
so that's what i'm gonna do

channel all my negative energy to this
cos this is all my fault..

maccas81
06-17-2005, 07:59 PM
brilliant song livo, class lyrics ,would love to hear the music!

PenguinBoy
06-23-2005, 08:39 PM
Hum, i wrote the same song twice, because i lost the first version, but after finding it again i'm pretty lost because now i have a huge song and it's hard to edit :( any hoos, here's the 2 bits. Bracketed stuff means it's whispered :)

Mad Dogs and Englishmen v1

(Day in)
(Day out)

What are we working for?
What are we settling for?
Will this be our lives?
'Til the day we die?
(Day In)
(Day Out)
Let's do some drugs
Make things better
I'll have an affair
Marage is down the gutter
(Day In)
(Day Out)
How about a pint?
How about a war?
How about some rape?
Ultra-violence brothers?

or work (Day In)
(Day Out)

(Day In)
(Day Out)

How about a song.


Mad dogs and Englishmen v2

This is my life
All i do is work
All day and all night
What is it worth
To work (day in)
(day out)

Then one day i saw her
Over lunch we touched eyes
At that point we stuck
thought she could change my life from
work (Day in)
(Day out)

Big ass solo

But she turned away
Said i was crazy
so i ate up my lunch
And i went back to work
(Day in)
(Day out)

They say get your life together
I say "what the ****"
Is it not enough
that i haven't killed my self
Yet (Day in)
(Day out)

So now i am here
i have no place to go
I can work work
or i can break free

work (day in)
NOTHING (day out)
I (day in)
have (day out)
Nowhere (day in)
to go (day out)
so (day in)

I'll die

the bit at the end of the seccond one is really fun to sing :D, because u have to whisper the phrase between each word of the sentence and it gets all muddled.

Livo
06-25-2005, 10:52 AM
^ that's really cool penguinboy, reminds me a little of radiohead's "i keep the wolf from the door". very good.

i just finished a song yesterday, it's my most cheerful so far :smiley1: i wrote it after hearing the ringtone my friend had set on her phone when i ring her and i thought it said "....i know you're the jester" which i thought was really cool (i juggle) but it turns out it was ".....i know you're the jealous type". so i decided to write a song about a jester.

(it's aptly named "the jester" too)

my words like leaves
fall from my branches
and litter the earth
beneath my feet
scattered thoughts
lay awoken
where shattered dreams
lie there broke
but the fire has relit
and bit by bit
i can repair your smashed-up dreams
i can do most anything

tomorrow we go
to the below
tomorrow we live
tomorrow we die
tomorrow we are born again
tomorrow we can breath again

live out your thoughts
live out your dreams
cos you are the jester
you are my rock

smiles frame the streets
as time rolls on
walk to the beat
it's summer again
shine on in your soul
shine on in your soul

cos i am the jester
you are the king
i'm just the jester
but i can be your queen

you said "we are all in the gutter
but some of us are looking at the stars"
look from your gutter
look to the stars
look from your gutter
look to your heart

cos i'm just a jester
you are my kind
i'm just a jester
can i be your queen?

Nathaniel
06-25-2005, 11:41 AM
this song is about a mixture of a guy i used to go out with and i guy i shouldn't like.. you can probably sense that from the confusion in the song :smiley36:

"negative energy"

my love shines for you
like winter snow
like summer dew
like autumn glow
like springtime rain
time and time again
drawn to you
drawn to you

shining by moonlight
shining by starbright
shining by midnight
shining by starlight

i'm sorry for the harm that i've caused
cos i know how much i've hurt you
i was wrong to put our love on pause
and i know you feel that way too

shining by moonlight
shining by starbright
shining by midnight
shining by starlight

i know my heart would stay in one piece
if i could just stop thinking about him
and i know that my soul would stop taking the piss
if i could just stop dreaming about him

thoughts in disarray
i stare at the wreckage
up to my elbows in muck
i know in my head
that i should not love him
but my heart just don't give a ****

channel all my negative energy to you
cos this is all your fault
so that's what i'm gonna do

channel all my negative energy to this
cos this is all my fault..


i really really like this Livo. This is very good.

maccas81
06-25-2005, 02:58 PM
Livo, I have to tell you those are 2 brilliant songs..those are some of the best lyrics i've seen by anyone in recent times...have you written music to any of them yet? you really should try , or if you dont play yourself, get someone who can to try...cos theyd really lend themselves to a musical accompaniment!

Nathaniel
06-25-2005, 03:30 PM
Livo, I have to tell you those are 2 brilliant songs..those are some of the best lyrics i've seen by anyone in recent times...have you written music to any of them yet? you really should try , or if you dont play yourself, get someone who can to try...cos theyd really lend themselves to a musical accompaniment!

totally agree - if you dont play I would be more than happy to provide you with music.

hey shaun, long time no speak

maccas81
06-25-2005, 03:41 PM
yeah nat man...hows things with you these days? havent seen u on here as much of late....you didnt venture over to glastonbury? probably just as well wit all the mud!!

Livo
06-25-2005, 06:26 PM
Livo, I have to tell you those are 2 brilliant songs..those are some of the best lyrics i've seen by anyone in recent times...have you written music to any of them yet? you really should try , or if you dont play yourself, get someone who can to try...cos theyd really lend themselves to a musical accompaniment!

i really really like this Livo. This is very good.

wow thanks! :smiley9: yeah i've set them both to music, i play the guitar. thanks very much! :smiley1:

maccas81
06-28-2005, 04:12 PM
cool livo you should put some links to them on so we can get a listen! what kind of style do u play in?

Livo
07-04-2005, 04:36 PM
i don't have them recorded, let alone up on the internet! very simple stuff really, just chords, no solos etc.

flyaway
07-04-2005, 06:55 PM
Lord, I have written too much in my time. Heres one I wrote today, about a friend of mine.
Strictly Business
We can at least pretend.
For the masses and our friends,
That things could work on front.

Drowing in your little whites.
I'm blinded by the tiny lights,
Amiccably tiresome; you wear me out.

samuelle
07-08-2005, 06:29 PM
untitled

i didn't ask for today,
the walk longer, alone.
today may be the longest ever.

winter arrived so solemn, quiet
so that i can watch six months pass before
my eyes, now gray with my new dreams.

sometimes as cliched as our nightmares,
sometimes as genuine as our fears
of a life anew

i took eight months from around my neck
and sent it into oblivion.
thanks for my hands again.

Shaftage
07-09-2005, 05:13 AM
Alright I confess...............I'm going to take all these songs and perform them at my gigs, make a billion dollars, then come visit you all..........lol Joking (or am I?)

Would like to visit a tallented bunch such as yourselves,.......great work to all of you, I almost let out a tear ;(

so here's a song that I wrote with the help of dmbit. You see in a post of his he had this song I think it was called Senza Titolo, but I'm not 100% sure
It was in Italian and quite stunning, He gave a translation to english so some of us mono linguistic's could understand........All I did was Re-Write it to flow better in English....


(I have changed almost everything but the meaning of the song)

Forget You I Won't


your dance burns inside of me
a tune that never brings me peace
I'll show a smile but I grit my teeth
I look for you in your harmony
spread open my arms and think its true
my eyes half-closed all I see is you
if you please, I will disappear
please speak to me, only you can my dear

So, Save me now
I believe there's a way
Give me a sign,
and bring me what may
So, Save me now
and teach me the truth
Help me fight the pain
help me understand you
So, Save me now
No matter how it goes
Forgive me now......
for forget you, I won't (x3)

dreaming out loud but only of you
do you believe in me, for I know I do
I keep waking up, you say you don't know
you give me life, help fill up my soul
show me your light, and your serenity
you light my path, my heart you set free

so, save me now
smile to light my way
cast this love's spell, but watch what you say
So, Save me now
teach me love I don't know
help me fight the pain, my escape you behold
forgive me, now
for forget you, I won't

Livo
07-09-2005, 11:52 AM
i wrote this last night in my head and wrote it down in the dark so i wouldn't forget it!

a scottish story

a scottish story, seldom told,
lies in the back of my mind to unfold
things and thoughts, desires and dreams
cancelled out by romantic fears

i tumble headlong through his eyes
and roam with angels in the dark black skies

lonliness understood as our eyes lock
so quiet, so quiet, like a muted flock
i want to fly away with you
but i don't know just what to do

maccas81
07-09-2005, 02:28 PM
untitled

i didn't ask for today,
the walk longer, alone.
today may be the longest ever.

winter arrived so solemn, quiet
so that i can watch six months pass before
my eyes, now gray with my new dreams.

sometimes as cliched as our nightmares,
sometimes as genuine as our fears
of a life anew

i took eight months from around my neck
and sent it into oblivion.
thanks for my hands again.

brillaint stuff samuelle.....have u written music for it yet?

maccas81
07-09-2005, 02:35 PM
i'm in the process of writing - or trying to write some stuff at the moment and i was wondering if anyone has any tips for composing lyrics? music comes easily to me, but words, not so....i was wondering is there anything you can do to improve this or is it simply a case of divine inspiration?

Livo
07-09-2005, 03:11 PM
i'm in the process of writing - or trying to write some stuff at the moment and i was wondering if anyone has any tips for composing lyrics? music comes easily to me, but words, not so....i was wondering is there anything you can do to improve this or is it simply a case of divine inspiration?

well i had a severe case of writer's block for a good while.. till i wrote the one above. that was just a case of lying in bed thinking about the person it's about and the first line came into my head. so i found another line to rhyme with it... then i thought more about the situation and about the person and stuff that had happened and stuff and it just came out!

Shaftage
07-09-2005, 09:48 PM
well......here's my process for writing........I'm sure we all have pretty different methods but maybe some more of will share the processes we use.

How do you feel?........happy, sad, scared, confident......ect.

Find a memory of feeling.....however........

and just write down how you feel when you think about it

or try to tell a story......or look out the window and write down what happens

"nothin unsusal, nothin strange, close to nothin at all"..........I think we all know that line.

there is no law that says stuff has to rhyme.......play with the EMPHA sis of your sy LABLES......lol......makes for nice dynamics

if music is the easy part.....play something you like then decide how it sounds....(happy sad fast slow) use the music to define the phrases.......

if you need a rhyme use a thesarus to help........www.thesarus.com

I have found it easier to write about stuff I know, lol (no crap shaft, ya dont say?)

it's hard to say where your voice will come from

hope some of these ideas help........what about the rest of the igloo........???

Shaftage
07-09-2005, 10:00 PM
tis the tax man maccas
fillin up his pockets
with the money of a hard woking man
you never tried it, dont knock it
he'll unplug you from your socket
cause hes the eskimo ladies man

lend some here take some there
where's it all gone, throw it up in air
but better hold your back pocket
take the key and lock it keeping your dough to spare

(crap eh?.......oh well 8mins what do you want?.....lol)

maccas81
07-09-2005, 10:39 PM
tis the tax man maccas
fillin up his pockets
with the money of a hard woking man
you never tried it, dont knock it
he'll unplug you from your socket
cause hes the eskimo ladies man

lend some here take some there
where's it all gone, throw it up in air
but better hold your back pocket
take the key and lock it keeping your dough to spare

(crap eh?.......oh well 8mins what do you want?.....lol)

ABSOLUTE GENIUS MAN!!! that is pure class....you do relaise i'm gonna have to put some music to that bad boy, don't ya?! i'm thinking something a bit bluesy.....

P.S. thanks for the tips as well.....i need all the help i can get!

samuelle
07-10-2005, 02:08 AM
brilliant stuff samuelle.....have u written music for it yet?

thanks! i sort of have music. i'm having a hard time with vocal melody because i'm not a singer. my process, as it were, is incredibly unhelpful because the lyrics come first, then the music, and then the melody has to tie the two together. :smiley5:

as far as writing lyrics goes, i like the way words sound together and, when i catch one that i like, i make a note of it. i have a notebook that i carry around in my bag with me and it's filled with words i like. then it's just a matter of finding the right subject matter - for me, it's all about what is happening around me at the time.

Shaftage
07-10-2005, 07:45 AM
Glad you liked it Shaun.........was trying to find a way to show that you can draw inspiration from any source if you're open to it..............

I just read your profile......took some things I knew and started putting them on paper....well digital paper........and let the verse come out..........one of the most common mistakes I've seen people make when they write, is they either pre judge their lyrics or feel that others will..........

IMHO......Who Cares What They Think!!!!..........

And If You Start Judging It You Can Shoot Yourself In The Proberbial Foot........

Fact: you probably wont finish it if you think it's not good enough to share ......
Fact: without bad you would have no concept of good.........

Fact: if you don't write, and have a body of work to examine you'll have a
hard time knowing if you are indeed improving.......

Fact: I love saying Fact!...........

Livo
07-10-2005, 12:34 PM
finished! it doesn't have a name yet though. i think i might just call it <untitled> and change the name when i feel like it!


a scottish story, seldom told
left in the back of my mind to unfold
things and thoughts, desires and dreams
cancelled out by romantic fears

i tumble headlong through his eyes
to roam with angels through dark black skies

loneliness understood as our eyes lock
so quiet, so quiet, like a muted flock
i'd love to fly away with you
but i don't know just what to do

i tumble headlong through his eyes
to roam with angels through dark black skies

i want to see a brighter day
i want to kiss you, to hear you say
"place your hand in mine
and we will roam through dark black skies"

Juzzza
07-12-2005, 10:55 AM
You drive around in your jumbulance
trying to create some ambience
you're good without a doubt
but I can't figure out what you're about

I know you don't like me
you look down your nose, plain to see
you have a thing about covers
but I see them like lovers

it is all about balance
and you have a chip on both shoulders
the shoulders I stand on belong to giants

your nasty streak amuses me
I think you let yourself down
you need to wake up and see
that bitterness stops you growing

we're all small fish in a small pond
trying to find our way to the sea
some of us make friends along the way
and some of us only think of 'me'

Juzzza
07-19-2005, 09:19 AM
Cooling Down

Did you know, that you are on my mind
night and day, every waking hour
and do you care, I can't take my gaze from off your eyes
and can I say, I'm addicted to your lips

nothing is harder than walking away
nothing is harder than walking away

I am cooling down for now
I am cooling down, until I'm back into your arms
I am cooling down for now

did you know, I love the way you look at me
do you care, I miss you when you're gone
can I say, I hope that you are never far from me

nothing is harder than walking away

I am cooling down for now
I am cooling down, until I'm back into your arms
I am cooling down for now

cello_pudding
07-24-2005, 02:24 AM
when friends friends become more
you toss your heart to a floor
that spins around towards two doors
i hold both open for you

i'm not asking you to step through
don't let my words leads your way
no pretty song, or pretty face
we aren't the ones to choose it.

time will tell us more
more than we had hoped for


wow, i kinda just wrote that...i had the first stanza...but just wrote the rest with a tune in my head. i really like it, NEED a few verses.

damofan
07-24-2005, 10:50 AM
Embedded

Someone is seeking and someone is strange
Someone is frightened and long for a change
My ending is ending and ending starts over
Drinking is dreaming and drinker is sober
Shadows are shrugging, have no place to go
Simple as stonewalls, someone should know
Whatís worse is worse and worst is bad
Clowns are crying, coughing and mad
Red mouth is bursting and blood is released
They thought they would live but they are now deceased
You would yield what you yearned for, you jumped when they said
That what you had yearned for was already dead

really like it, deep lyrics...

damofan
07-24-2005, 10:55 AM
So night comes and i'm alone
One more sleep and i'm finally home
Home is you
and your where im safe
Home is your heart
and mines there for ....the taking...

But lifes too short to love and lose
And my hearts too fragile to bear these bruises
So hold me and love me and lets leave it there..
Loving you is my cross to bare...