Valentine's Day Exclusive: Only a week later and already a brand new Damo song!

[Spamlet]

Someone said that latest one sounded like classic Damo and while i agree with that opinion I think this seems to me even more traditionally him.




Here's the story: the other day while at work I was sufin' around there on Youtube humming WIIW? for the zillionth time this week (yes, I know I'm not getting paid to do that, am I? It's even worse since the company I work for is designed to stop people from doing exactly that type of thing but I guess we don't taste our own medicine) but anyway I digress, on purpose, all the sudden I found a parodic lyric popping in my head. I've been constantly comin' up with funny alternate lyrics since I was a kid but most all of those are truly obscene (If the world can even have naughty cakes, why not have a dirty version of Weird Al, right?). So anyway I took a half hour yesterday to expand on the theme 'til I had a whole new song and since we all have a common love here I thought I'd share it with my fellow E-mos for V-day :

I would write a tune tomorrow but tomorrow's in the past
I have torn apart my band twice now to prove that nothing lasts
I have stayed locked inside grey rooms with a mind full of doubt
I can get lost between the studio and puttin' new stuff out

I need a new yesterday
Left standin' as she turns away
I started a small crack in the wall for a bed to frame love's stain (whew!)
And I hate it when I cry
'Cause you f*cked yet another guy
But because she had stayed with me, I declared I was right:

Now I don't know if I'm wroooong
Cause she's only just gooooone.

I'll build 9 walls between
What's wonderful and what is true
I've sacredized some known place for the delicate face of you
I have confessed the action of a hand
Walked the edge of stilted cheeks
I never shoot my loaded gun when asked if I should speak

On a Moody, moody-day
You feel it when they take it away
So I stole the bassline for "Childish" without a single shred of shame
Preparin' myself for a war
The brave one in a senseless fight
I have claimed that God guided my rod and fished to prove I’m right:

Playin' with my d*nnnng
More skilled at it than Ponnng
Smokin' skins like Chonnng
Broke when you stood stronnng

Is this boy worth shaving at all?
‘Cause if I lose my balls then it's not hard to fall
Call out my name and finally say:

I would write a tune tomorrow but tomorrow's in the past
I have torn apart my band twice now to prove that nothing lasts
I have stayed locked inside grey rooms with a mind full of doubt
I can get lost between the studio and puttin' new stuff out.
When's the next song?

[verenita]

^

[Spamlet]

Thanks Vere,

Not sure what's happened to this forum lately. It used to be much more supportive and fun, as the name implies, but I'm glad that at least 1 person out of over 300 still has a sense of humor.

[Moves-My-World]

Originally Posted by Spamlet

Not sure what's happened to this forum lately. It used to be much more supportive and fun, as the name implies, but I'm glad that at least 1 person out of over 300 still has a sense of humor.

It's an elaborately dull post.

[Spamlet]

I rest my case.

[Darvish]

something needs to happen

[Spamlet]

Originally Posted by Darvish

something needs to happen

Maybe we could have a spork/foon fight to the death...

[Dean C]

[emmi]

^hehee...

[Spamlet]

Finland's sense of humor = intact.

[LaurenM]

haha I thought the original post was clever and funny. I think the forums are just dead these days, given that Damo isn't releasing anything worthwhile (imho) anymore.

[Darvish]

As an outlet for my distress, and on everyone's behalf, I have taken 5 minutes to draft forward this letter:

It's unlikely that this letter will win me many friends or even garner much attention. However, writing it is the only way I know to supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into clericalism. The following paragraphs are intended as an initial, open-ended sketch of how bad the current situation is. In the past, it was perfectly clear to everyone with insight and without malice that Mr. Damien Rice's catch-phrases reek of so much radicalism that the smell nauseates me. Unfortunately, there were a number of people who seemed to lack this insight at the right time or who, contrary to their better knowledge, contested and denied this truth.

What this underlines, I think, is that I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to act as a positive role model for younger people. I have never been in favor of being gratuitously corrupt. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to treat the disease, not the symptoms.

Although this may come as a surprise to some readers, if you study Mr. Rice's mendacious credos long enough, you'll come to the inescapable conclusion that he keeps saying that the rigors that his victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement. For some reason, Mr. Rice's pals actually believe this nonsense. At first, you might be unsure as to whether pathological maggots are intrigued and puzzled by Mr. Rice's amalgam of illaudable allotheism and nerdy Dadaism—a tangled web of KKK, Freudian, encounter-therapy, populist, Ayn Rand-like, and Marxist notions. But on deeper inspection, you'll unmistakably conclude that Mr. Rice has allowed himself to become a spokesman for the same point of view shared by savage, petulant schemers, nasty, cankered exponents of Stalinism, and what I call incorrigible barrators while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. Mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for him. If we feel helpless, Mr. Rice is energized and ramps up his efforts to glorify supercilious, suppressive, murderous governments as the ideologically correct alternative to all other possibilities.

I don't mean to scare you, but onanism doesn't work. So why does Mr. Rice cling to it? To help answer that question I will offer a single anecdote. A few weeks ago, I overheard some clueless, incontinent deviant tell everyone who passed by that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. Astounded, I asked this person if he realized that Mr. Rice should be forced to wear a scarlet "W" for "Wants to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions". Not only was his answer "no" but it was also news to him that even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that I'm at loggerheads with Mr. Rice on at least one important issue. Namely, he argues that he can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom. I take the opposite position, that it is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did Mr. Rice's reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "How will Mr. Rice's idolators react when they discover that Mr. Rice wants to make people suspicious of those who speak the truth?" It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of his hariolations because he is stepping over the line when he attempts to disparage and ridicule our traditional heroes and role models—way over the line.

Mr. Rice recently stated that one can understand the elements of a scientific theory only by reference to the social condition and personal histories of the scientists involved. He said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. He said it as if he meant it. That's scary because we must understand that he irritates all and sundry. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible.

Mr. Rice can't see the forest for the trees. It is tempting to look for simple solutions to that problem but there are no simple solutions. He wants to prohibit any discussion of her attempts to win support by encapsulating frustrations and directing them toward unpopular scapegoats. While it is clear why he wants that to be a taboo subject, Mr. Rice's most progressive idea is to deny us the opportunity to force him into early retirement. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. I don't wish to psychologize here, but Mr. Rice has a glib proficiency with words and very sensitive nostrils. He can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches Mr. Rice's nostrils, he'll start talking about the joy of mandarinism and how he is beyond reproach. As you listen to Mr. Rice's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice his hand as it goes into your pocket. Only later, after you realize you've been robbed, will you truly understand that he can't fool me. I've met disgusting monomaniacs before so I know that I see how important Mr. Rice's sanctimonious beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) are to his cronies and I laugh. I laugh because he is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me because Mr. Rice's previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that his new changes will be even more lascivious because Mr. Rice believes that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one.

What I think—and I'm no specialist—is that Mr. Rice's overgeneralizations emblematize an increasing deturpation of cultural standards and a triumph of the meretricious. To top that off, Mr. Rice claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to provide unimaginative conspiracies with the necessary asylum to take root and spread. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Mr. Rice's underlings. The truth is that we must celebrate knowledge and truth for the sake of knowledge and truth. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to push a consistent vision that responds to most people's growing fears about conscienceless, dour deviants.

There are rumors circulating that Mr. Rice should do some research next time before printing half-truths and misinformation, so let me just clarify something: As long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, Mr. Rice's worshippers don't really care that I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Mr. Rice's annoying asseverations, but his allegations are becoming increasingly inerudite. They have already begun to treat traditional values as if they were anal-retentive, lackluster crimes. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Mr. Rice to lobotomize everyone caught thinking an independent thought. If you don't want such a time to come then help me convince callous paranoiacs to stop supporting Mr. Rice and tolerating his strictures. Help me build a world overflowing with compassion and tolerance. If Mr. Rice truly believes that he is a protective bulwark against the advancing tyranny of belligerent boors, then maybe he should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101.

I would never take a job working for Mr. Rice. Given his rude tirades, who would want to? He divides the organization of his insensitive, shambolic inveracities into two halves that, apparently separate from one another, in truth, form an inseparable whole. The first half seeks to advocate measures that others criticize for being excessively impulsive, while the second half is yet another short-sighted blend of unsympathetic escapism and coldhearted deconstructionism. We should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his oligophrenic sound bites. For starters, let's say that "ruffianism" is "that which makes Mr. Rice yearn to influence the attitudes of dominant culture towards any environment or activity that is predominantly recalcitrant."

One may very well question whether Mr. Rice's public virtue is dwarfed by his private vice. Still, most people will eventually be convinced that the basal lie that underlies all of Mr. Rice's disloyal wisecracks is that he never engages in sophomoric, flippant, or smarmy politics. Translation: Mr. Rice is God's representative on Earth. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views but you should nevertheless be aware that Mr. Rice is interpersonally exploitative. That is, he takes advantage of others to achieve his own impetuous ends. Why does he do that? Well, while you're deliberating over that, let me ask you another question: How can he destroy the lives of good, honest people and then turn around and shed tears for those who got hurt as a result? Now, not to bombard you with too many questions, but from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, his helots have always found a way to revive an arcadian past that never existed. The essential point, however, is the following: If Mr. Rice would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to uplift individuals and communities on a global scale to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. Help me summon up the courage to encourage our spirits to soar. Join your hands with mine in this, the greatest cause of our time.

[Spamlet]

Thanks for hijacking my thread, Glen Beck.

[LaurenM]

Originally Posted by Darvish

As an outlet for my distress, and on everyone's behalf, I have taken 5 minutes to draft forward this letter:

It's unlikely that this letter will win me many friends or even garner much attention. However, writing it is the only way I know to supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into clericalism. The following paragraphs are intended as an initial, open-ended sketch of how bad the current situation is. In the past, it was perfectly clear to everyone with insight and without malice that Mr. Damien Rice's catch-phrases reek of so much radicalism that the smell nauseates me. Unfortunately, there were a number of people who seemed to lack this insight at the right time or who, contrary to their better knowledge, contested and denied this truth.

What this underlines, I think, is that I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to act as a positive role model for younger people. I have never been in favor of being gratuitously corrupt. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to treat the disease, not the symptoms.

Although this may come as a surprise to some readers, if you study Mr. Rice's mendacious credos long enough, you'll come to the inescapable conclusion that he keeps saying that the rigors that his victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement. For some reason, Mr. Rice's pals actually believe this nonsense. At first, you might be unsure as to whether pathological maggots are intrigued and puzzled by Mr. Rice's amalgam of illaudable allotheism and nerdy Dadaism—a tangled web of KKK, Freudian, encounter-therapy, populist, Ayn Rand-like, and Marxist notions. But on deeper inspection, you'll unmistakably conclude that Mr. Rice has allowed himself to become a spokesman for the same point of view shared by savage, petulant schemers, nasty, cankered exponents of Stalinism, and what I call incorrigible barrators while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. Mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for him. If we feel helpless, Mr. Rice is energized and ramps up his efforts to glorify supercilious, suppressive, murderous governments as the ideologically correct alternative to all other possibilities.

I don't mean to scare you, but onanism doesn't work. So why does Mr. Rice cling to it? To help answer that question I will offer a single anecdote. A few weeks ago, I overheard some clueless, incontinent deviant tell everyone who passed by that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. Astounded, I asked this person if he realized that Mr. Rice should be forced to wear a scarlet "W" for "Wants to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions". Not only was his answer "no" but it was also news to him that even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that I'm at loggerheads with Mr. Rice on at least one important issue. Namely, he argues that he can be trusted to judge the rest of the world from a unique perch of pure wisdom. I take the opposite position, that it is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did Mr. Rice's reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "How will Mr. Rice's idolators react when they discover that Mr. Rice wants to make people suspicious of those who speak the truth?" It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of his hariolations because he is stepping over the line when he attempts to disparage and ridicule our traditional heroes and role models—way over the line.

Mr. Rice recently stated that one can understand the elements of a scientific theory only by reference to the social condition and personal histories of the scientists involved. He said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. He said it as if he meant it. That's scary because we must understand that he irritates all and sundry. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible.

Mr. Rice can't see the forest for the trees. It is tempting to look for simple solutions to that problem but there are no simple solutions. He wants to prohibit any discussion of her attempts to win support by encapsulating frustrations and directing them toward unpopular scapegoats. While it is clear why he wants that to be a taboo subject, Mr. Rice's most progressive idea is to deny us the opportunity to force him into early retirement. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. I don't wish to psychologize here, but Mr. Rice has a glib proficiency with words and very sensitive nostrils. He can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches Mr. Rice's nostrils, he'll start talking about the joy of mandarinism and how he is beyond reproach. As you listen to Mr. Rice's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice his hand as it goes into your pocket. Only later, after you realize you've been robbed, will you truly understand that he can't fool me. I've met disgusting monomaniacs before so I know that I see how important Mr. Rice's sanctimonious beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) are to his cronies and I laugh. I laugh because he is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me because Mr. Rice's previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that his new changes will be even more lascivious because Mr. Rice believes that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one.

What I think—and I'm no specialist—is that Mr. Rice's overgeneralizations emblematize an increasing deturpation of cultural standards and a triumph of the meretricious. To top that off, Mr. Rice claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to provide unimaginative conspiracies with the necessary asylum to take root and spread. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Mr. Rice's underlings. The truth is that we must celebrate knowledge and truth for the sake of knowledge and truth. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to push a consistent vision that responds to most people's growing fears about conscienceless, dour deviants.

There are rumors circulating that Mr. Rice should do some research next time before printing half-truths and misinformation, so let me just clarify something: As long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, Mr. Rice's worshippers don't really care that I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Mr. Rice's annoying asseverations, but his allegations are becoming increasingly inerudite. They have already begun to treat traditional values as if they were anal-retentive, lackluster crimes. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Mr. Rice to lobotomize everyone caught thinking an independent thought. If you don't want such a time to come then help me convince callous paranoiacs to stop supporting Mr. Rice and tolerating his strictures. Help me build a world overflowing with compassion and tolerance. If Mr. Rice truly believes that he is a protective bulwark against the advancing tyranny of belligerent boors, then maybe he should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101.

I would never take a job working for Mr. Rice. Given his rude tirades, who would want to? He divides the organization of his insensitive, shambolic inveracities into two halves that, apparently separate from one another, in truth, form an inseparable whole. The first half seeks to advocate measures that others criticize for being excessively impulsive, while the second half is yet another short-sighted blend of unsympathetic escapism and coldhearted deconstructionism. We should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his oligophrenic sound bites. For starters, let's say that "ruffianism" is "that which makes Mr. Rice yearn to influence the attitudes of dominant culture towards any environment or activity that is predominantly recalcitrant."

One may very well question whether Mr. Rice's public virtue is dwarfed by his private vice. Still, most people will eventually be convinced that the basal lie that underlies all of Mr. Rice's disloyal wisecracks is that he never engages in sophomoric, flippant, or smarmy politics. Translation: Mr. Rice is God's representative on Earth. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views but you should nevertheless be aware that Mr. Rice is interpersonally exploitative. That is, he takes advantage of others to achieve his own impetuous ends. Why does he do that? Well, while you're deliberating over that, let me ask you another question: How can he destroy the lives of good, honest people and then turn around and shed tears for those who got hurt as a result? Now, not to bombard you with too many questions, but from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, his helots have always found a way to revive an arcadian past that never existed. The essential point, however, is the following: If Mr. Rice would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to uplift individuals and communities on a global scale to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. Help me summon up the courage to encourage our spirits to soar. Join your hands with mine in this, the greatest cause of our time.

that only took you five minutes?

[Samart]

1 - Your own april's fool joke in answer to Spamlet previous one ?

2 - You went crazy after your 50.000th listen of O.

3 - You just smoke a pot, or if you never did, you should try.

4 - In fact, nothing's wrong and you are just Lisa Hannigan and want to play a trick on Damien.

5 - You were an ardent fan of Lisa H. and you started your own conspiracy against M.RICE (Sounds like Dr. NO VS 007) since you were so sad when he dare to fire her. (SO SHOCKING !) You think he is the Devil and you have a voodoo doll with a Mr RICE hair on it, you tell invocation and try sorcery and ask Thor Lord of Thunder to kill him at very full moon, locked in your bedroom.

6 - Grant you another 5 minutes, read again the previous 5 and start your virtuous circle on the path to find the answer.

Hint : 5 ?