arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

[WeeAngel]

i am so annoyed right now i dunno wat to do so some eskimo advice would be appreciated......................................
my boyfriend went on hols to salou 2weeks ago he's due home tomorrow but yesterday he rang me to tell me he's got a job over there.
He's still coming home tommorow because my debs is on tuesday but then he's goin back over there saturday
he told me to come over and get a job over there we would be stayin till october
there are a number of problems that i have n he doesnt seem to care
1. I have no Passport and it will take me at least 10days to get one
2. i have no money at all i have no way of gettin money quickly
3. i have no holiday clothes
4. my leaving cert results are out on the 17th of august and i want be home for them
5.i have to get ready for college
6. i was really looking forward to doing things in ireland with him this summer last summer we were broken up and spent virtually no time together
7. i am a humongous harry potter fan and have been counting down the days until the release of the sixth bookl its out on the 16th july and i am sooooo lookin forward to the midnight opening of the bookshop and reading the sixth book

the last two weeks without him have been so boring i miss him so much and i dont want to be away from him for the rest of the summer i have barely talked to him over these two weeks because its so expensive and his credit keeps going and if i have to spend the rest of the summer like that i will go crazy. He really is my best friend and the only person i hang around with so i will literally be on my own all summer which i cant handle but due to all the reasons above i dont think i should go out there

can someone give me advice on what to do im really stuck

[Aisling]

just ask him to come home

[WeeAngel]

i cant..........wats the point in having him home if he hates me for forcing him to leave salou

[Aisling]

i was in a similar situation last summer and i asked my boy to come home, i mean he didnt have to, but he did. you're not forcing him to come home, it's a gentle request that maybe he'd like to spend some time in ireland with you before you have to go to college.

[Livo]

i don't think it's fair for you really, you've got many reasons not to go and there are plenty of jobs on offer in ireland. ask him to come home.

[Miss Pink]

let him have some space and you go over there for a few random weeks and not spend the whole summer over there

[Sionna]

Just leave him off,Salou is pretty boring,was there a few weeks ago.He'll probably get sick of it.You can visit him for an odd week or two until he comes back.

[*Killian*]

whatever about him coming back, but id say dont go over to him. personally i feel that the time after finishing your leaving cert is really important. its important to be home for the results to deal with your college choices as i wouldnt trust anybody else with dealing with all the college forms and stuff when i was away. just my opinion

[WeeAngel]

methinks ive sorted it!
im plannin to head out to salou on the 20th of july till the 16th of august then ill b back for the results! Now if i post my passport forms away 2mo i hope theyll come before the 20th!!
thanks foor yeer help!

[Beevers_uk]

Originally Posted by WeeAngel

methinks ive sorted it!
im plannin to head out to salou on the 20th of july till the 16th of august then ill b back for the results! Now if i post my passport forms away 2mo i hope theyll come before the 20th!!
thanks foor yeer help!

Could you not go to the Irish Embassy, and ask for a temporary ones!!??

[Livo]

i think if you go to the passport office they'll sort you out for a quick one.

[Miss Pink]

yeah i did that but the lady was a total bi.tch to me, my passport was 2yrs out of date, odviously i hadnt traveled in 2 yrs and being 15/16 cant really remember i didnt need it for id purposes so i went up and asked for a rush passport she was like "god sake...why did u leave it that long to get a new one???" so mammy put her in her place

[flyaway]

Well. Do you really want to go and leave Ireland? Is the first question you've got to ask. I know this one seems harsh but; Is he worth missing out on all that for? I wasn't properly ready for college and It ended up being a bit much and I left early. You should ask him to at least consider staying for summer. Did he consult you about getting a job over there? Because even though my relationship track record, is terrible, getting a job that far from home without consulting your girlfriend isn't a good thing. As relationships are all about communication. Anyway that's my two penneth!

[flyaway]

God, sorry. I was so behind. Good plan though mate!

[hollowrose]

i'd kick him the nuts for being so selfish

[WeeAngel]

can u get a temporary one1??????? where is the passport office!?
i never had a passport before.

[Aisling]

i dont think you can get a temp one. can you?

[maccas81]

Originally Posted by hollowrose

i'd kick him the nuts for being so selfish

umm....am i the only one who doesnt think he's being selfish!? you arent a married couple ffs!!

[maccas81]

and is it just me or are people in non-permanent or legally binding relationships a wee bit too intense that they cant bear to be apart from each other for any length of time at all? i dont mean to be ignorabnt about it, but if youre not married/engaged, you cant really expect someone to be at your beckon call all the time, whether they want to be or not.

[Shaftage]

I'm not completly familair with all the EmoFriends........but I havent noticed an opinion that even mentions how your bloke might feel..................so heres my advice.........

Your only young once,........and you should enjoy your youth as much as possible.........
I can understand all the graduation hoopla (i was there not too terribly long ago)......but if you really cant stand being apart all summer you should go......Sure you could ask him to stay......but is that really fair to him?

I have found most of the time people look at situations from "their own" viewpoint too often.......I think that this is a trend that one tends to grow out of.......

who knows you could have the most fun youve ever had.......

or like mentioned above, he could get bored, or fired, or really miss you.....or 1 of a billion other things could happen..........I'm just saying that in life if you expect something to be an impossibility......you tend to be right

2 quotes from a good source:

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!"

--Henry Ford

[kmcqui1]

i live in engalnd so i dont know if it is differnt but if u drive down to the passport office you can get one that day. Go borrow money pay back when u get a job any time u want to come home 4 abit come home then go back u only live once the season will end soon so u will be beck sooner than u think its quite late in the year to get a job there so just give it a try u will be back home soon.

[hollowrose]

Originally Posted by maccas81

umm....am i the only one who doesnt think he's being selfish!? you arent a married couple ffs!!

well i have to disagree with you
he doesn't necessarily have to ask to stay over there but if it was me i would appreciate if he told me about it before he made his final decision so we could discuss it
but then again my opinion may be wrong

what does ffs mean?

[hollowrose]

and oh yeah i got a temporary passport when i was 16 when we went on our school tour to Barcelona
but thats probably different because it was a school tour

[maccas81]

Originally Posted by hollowrose

what does ffs mean?

its a rude expression translated as 'for f*** sake'!!

[Shaftage]

I could be way off (help me out here guys), but are girls from Europe "Way To Possessive?.!"..........I can understand, the whole not wanting to spend the whole summer apart, but as far as "did he consult you", and "him being selfish", or "there are plenty of jobs in Ireland"........Rubbish!

Did you consult him before you decied to graduate?,

I could see how it might be a "big deal", if he was leaving to go shag someone, or go hang with a few mates, or leaving for good, or joining the mitilary, or some crap......but it sounds to me like the only thing he is guilty of is trying to better himself and to earn a bit of coin so he can buy you some nice things and so he might not have to work until hes 103yrs old before he can retire...........

Hell I dont to want to limit myself to just this country for the rest of my life either......I'm planning a trip with my brother so we can see Egypt, UK, Ireland, Norway, Italy, Japan, Austraila, and maybe even a few we havent planned on!..........YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.....................

"Life is not defined by the number of moments you breathe, but in the moments that take your breath away"

Shaft~

[maccas81]

Originally Posted by Shaftage

I could be way off (help me out here guys), but are girls from Europe "Way To Possessive?.!"..........I can understand, the whole not wanting to spend the whole summer apart, but as far as "did he consult you", and "him being selfish", or "there are plenty of jobs in Ireland"........Rubbish!

Did you consult him before you decied to graduate?,

I could see how it might be a "big deal", if he was leaving to go shag someone, or go hang with a few mates, or leaving for good, or joining the mitilary, or some crap......but it sounds to me like the only thing he is guilty of is trying to better himself and to earn a bit of coin so he can buy you some nice things and so he might not have to work until hes 103yrs old before he can retire...........

Hell I dont to want to limit myself to just this country for the rest of my life either......I'm planning a trip with my brother so we can see Egypt, UK, Ireland, Norway, Italy, Japan, Austraila, and maybe even a few we havent planned on!..........YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.....................

"Life is not defined by the number of moments you breathe, but in the moments that take your breath away"

Shaft~

well said, my friend, well said......the point about possessive women, in some cases crazy psycho posseessive women most certainly applies to ireland, and most likely the UK as well! i mean do people not like space to BREATHE or what!?

[WeeAngel]

Originally Posted by Shaftage

I could be way off (help me out here guys), but are girls from Europe "Way To Possessive?.!"..........I can understand, the whole not wanting to spend the whole summer apart, but as far as "did he consult you", and "him being selfish", or "there are plenty of jobs in Ireland"........Rubbish!

Did you consult him before you decied to graduate?,

I could see how it might be a "big deal", if he was leaving to go shag someone, or go hang with a few mates, or leaving for good, or joining the mitilary, or some crap......but it sounds to me like the only thing he is guilty of is trying to better himself and to earn a bit of coin so he can buy you some nice things and so he might not have to work until hes 103yrs old before he can retire...........

Hell I dont to want to limit myself to just this country for the rest of my life either......I'm planning a trip with my brother so we can see Egypt, UK, Ireland, Norway, Italy, Japan, Austraila, and maybe even a few we havent planned on!..........YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.....................

"Life is not defined by the number of moments you breathe, but in the moments that take your breath away"

Shaft~

i dont know if u have a girlfriend but by the sound of it you dont(i couldnt see why anyone would want to go out with you after what you just said) u are so insensitive,he's my best friend and boyfriend and i wanted to spend summer with him that doesnt make me possessive
i NEVER said he was selfish or "there are plenty of jobs in ireland" dont misquote me....
all i was asking for was advice not somebody like you criticising me.
THe point i was making was that he took a job in spain without telling me or asking me how i felt, i was stuck on what i should do so i asked for advice, knowing that some eskimos have probably been through the same situation.

me and him have always talked about going away together and i have NEVER stopped him from doing anything i just thought he should have told me and we couldve planned it.

Did you consult him before you decied to graduate?,
Thats a cheap shot......I didnt decide to graduate i finished school, i did my leaving certificate and have completed my secondary education......its what happens in ireland.
you dont have to be married or engaged to somebody to be in love, so dont imply that im possesive or over the top about my relationship
anyway ive decided on what to do thanks soooo much for your invaluable advice


Im sorry eskimos if i sound very pissed off and rude, but this has infuriated me all i asked for was help not criticisim

[Shaftage]

Weeangel..................I'm sorry if you thought I was having a go, or taking a "cheap shot" at you.......That was never my intent.............

If you read my post above ............. you will notice there's no indication of any type that:
1.you said the above quotations......
2.that said quotes were directed at "you" in any way......(if you read the thread once more you will find where the quotes origionally came from)
3.I never accused you of holding a man back.

I was taking adivce I saw in the thread and voicing my opinion about how "I" felt. (kind of the point of a forum, eh?..)

I was simply trying to stand up for who you say is a nice man that it seems people have decided it is ok to bash and talk trash about eventhough he can't speak up in his defense.

I feel somewhat sorry my advice to you didn't include a derogatory remark about your self-exclaimed "best friend".....I don't see you voicing your distaste about anyone in the thread who has put the person you care so much about down. It seems you save that for someone with an opinion that might differ somehow from yours......

Oh and Thank You for "Your" Cheap Shot........I'm glad you feel you have the amazing ability to judge me within the scope of a single post.........

[Wheels]

Originally Posted by WeeAngel

all i asked for was help

[jasonAVO]

Originally Posted by Shaftage

I was simply trying to stand up for who you say is a nice man that it seems people have decided it is ok to bash and talk trash about eventhough he can't speak up in his defense.

I feel somewhat sorry my advice to you didn't include a derogatory remark about your self-exclaimed "best friend".....I don't see you voicing your distaste about anyone in the thread who has put the person you care so much about down. It seems you save that for someone with an opinion that might differ somehow from yours......

Oh and Thank You for "Your" Cheap Shot........I'm glad you feel you have the amazing ability to judge me within the scope of a single post.........

personally i agree with you 1000%. people are too focused on other people bringing themselves happiness rather than finding it inside, seperate from others.

wee one....in time you will find your happiness is not found by being with someone. happiness is something you have inside. you then share it with people who want to accept what you give of yourself and not demand more. if your dream was to do something , anything....move to hawaii ....whatever it is....what kind of love would someone have for you by demanding you not go for it? what kind of love is it that puts conditions on itself? if what you want is what he wants than great. but if he wants something you dont, it is no insult to you. it doesnt have anything to do with you whatsoever.

i used to be that way. possesive...controlling. it doesnt even seem like it at times. small example, my wife wanted a big tattoo when we first meet. i said i didnt like it. i guilted her. something way too many people do way too often. years later she still held it against me. little things cause people to feel trapped and even if it doesnt effect your relationship right away it will fester. we got divorced for no other reason(no cheating, mistreatment) than i expected her to be a certain way. and when she wasnt i guilted her. she had the same problem in reverse, she felt without me she wouldnt be happy so she alterred herself(what you would be asking of him by saying dont go). well, it took quite a bit of soul searching to see some rather unpleasant things about myself. and i was tempted many times to say screw you to the people pointing these very same things out to me. well im glad i didnt. i found how to be happy all alone. funny thing is, as soon as i stopped thinking about her being my salvation....we got back together. still divorced but happier than ever. because we both have learned how to live for ourselves, rather than for each other.

shaft was right. here people are going off on what a putz the man you love is....if that is how you feel and agree with everyone....why be with him? if you dont. stick up for him. but of course that would mean accepting that he is a person, free to live his life the way that makes him happy. what a bastard. you may not like the idea of being without someone...it becomes a problem when you cant be without someone. when thats the case look inward.

jason

finding happiness through another person is like finding happiness with a drug. short term pleasure to hide longterm problem.