help wanted..........

netheredgeman · 07-06-2004, 10:54 AM

Here’s something to cast your collective mind over following on from other threads on similar topics over previous days

I have a dear friend who thinks that she's unable to have a relationship because she over feels everything and gets hurt very easily. She feels as though she should give up completely, friendship is perfect and sex isn't that good anyway also she has no self-confidence and ends up fishing for compliments which she doesn't believe in the end. Is she normal or will she have to live on anti depressants all her life just to get through?

This predicament is a bit touchy, as my friend doesn’t really know how to cope with her current situation. Any help and advice would be appreciated – as an ‘older’ inhabitant of the igloo I’m not too sure how to broach or solve the problem. Any suggestions on a solution to this conundrum appreciated

pamela · 07-06-2004, 11:40 AM

if she aint happy she should definately get away from this person

Louise · 07-06-2004, 12:14 PM

the answer is she is normal. Totally normal.

Enoch · 07-06-2004, 12:16 PM

Your friend sounds like someone I know.

Louise · 07-06-2004, 12:52 PM

your friend sounds like someone everyone knows.

rudy · 07-06-2004, 01:02 PM

she´s normal but for the sex part.

GlttrGrrl · 07-06-2004, 01:24 PM

I say gently encourage her to see a therapist...she's not going to change her perspective unless she wants to, though. Sometimes it takes a few friends suggesting it for it to sink infor her to decide that she wants to improve her confidence and be happier.

pamela · 07-06-2004, 03:02 PM

i must've read it wrong .oops!

Miss Pink · 07-06-2004, 05:03 PM

Glttr Grl is right i was thinking that, with sum1 with such a low opinion of them selves they will end up getting depressed, try od'ing self harm etc, that is if its left undetected i wud strongly advise they seek help it gets rid of alot of hurt and upset the sooner they do.

(I dnt want ppl to start writing that wat i just wrote i total sh*te cuz it and its very much true in my life and by saying wat i sed is sh*te is the worst thing u cud do cuz those ppl i am tlkn bout went thru so much pain with the way they were, and so did i go thru so much pain trying to help them and walk in on 1 of them whilst cutting so say nothing)

SisterMidnight · 07-07-2004, 02:50 AM

Miss Pink- not sh*te, very wise words actually.

Richard- your friend does sound like she has low self-esteem and if she is a sensitive person and has been hurt before it may be wise for her to take a break from "relationships" for awhile. This may especially true if she has been physically or sexually abused in the past, which sounds possible to me. She sounds like she's asking for friendship only. Maybe what she really needs right now is true, supportive friends- like you.

I would agree with Valerie, to gently encourage her to see a therapist, because like Miss Pink said if there is no intervention her condition could worsen. And maybe she will have to be on anti-depressants her whole life. Some people are actually biologically hard-wired for depression (chemical imbalances in serotonin, dopamine, etc., synapses don't trigger as they should) but if there is a trauma or other event that sets it off the depression will worsen, and sometimes medication is the best approach. Along with therapy and a good support network of family and friends (hopefully).

Just be there for her right now and don't push her. Sometimes it can take years for people to overcome trauma and what seems insignificant to some can be devastating to the person experiencing it. Allow her time to grieve and regain her strength and sense of self. With friends like you she should be doing better in no time. [img]smileys/smiley1.gif[/img]

(okay I'm off the clock now)

07-06-2004, 10:54 AM	#1
netheredgeman Eskimo Regular Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Isle of Axholme Posts: 198	Here’s something to cast your collective mind over following on from other threads on similar topics over previous days I have a dear friend who thinks that she's unable to have a relationship because she over feels everything and gets hurt very easily. She feels as though she should give up completely, friendship is perfect and sex isn't that good anyway also she has no self-confidence and ends up fishing for compliments which she doesn't believe in the end. Is she normal or will she have to live on anti depressants all her life just to get through? This predicament is a bit touchy, as my friend doesn’t really know how to cope with her current situation. Any help and advice would be appreciated – as an ‘older’ inhabitant of the igloo I’m not too sure how to broach or solve the problem. Any suggestions on a solution to this conundrum appreciated __________________ "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. ."

07-06-2004, 11:40 AM	#2
pamela Eskimo Regular Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,157	if she aint happy she should definately get away from this person __________________ I know that he loves me. . . . . Cause he told me so

07-06-2004, 12:14 PM	#3
Louise Eskimo Regular Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ireland Posts: 2,118	the answer is she is normal. Totally normal. __________________ "Every line means something"

07-06-2004, 12:16 PM	#4
Enoch Eskimo Regular Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Scotland Posts: 1,698	Your friend sounds like someone I know. __________________ Hold me down, hoping that you can explain, little arithmetics, got me down ..

07-06-2004, 12:52 PM	#5
Louise Eskimo Regular Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Ireland Posts: 2,118	your friend sounds like someone everyone knows. __________________ "Every line means something"

07-06-2004, 01:02 PM	#6
rudy Eskimo Regular Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 382	she´s normal but for the sex part.

07-06-2004, 01:24 PM	#7
GlttrGrrl Eskimo Goddess Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: United States Posts: 1,353	I say gently encourage her to see a therapist...she's not going to change her perspective unless she wants to, though. Sometimes it takes a few friends suggesting it for it to sink infor her to decide that she wants to improve her confidence and be happier.

07-06-2004, 03:02 PM	#8
pamela Eskimo Regular Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,157	i must've read it wrong .oops! __________________ I know that he loves me. . . . . Cause he told me so

07-06-2004, 05:03 PM	#9
Miss Pink Eskimo Regular Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 5,327	Glttr Grl is right i was thinking that, with sum1 with such a low opinion of them selves they will end up getting depressed, try od'ing self harm etc, that is if its left undetected i wud strongly advise they seek help it gets rid of alot of hurt and upset the sooner they do. (I dnt want ppl to start writing that wat i just wrote i total shte cuz it and its very much true in my life and by saying wat i sed is shte is the worst thing u cud do cuz those ppl i am tlkn bout went thru so much pain with the way they were, and so did i go thru so much pain trying to help them and walk in on 1 of them whilst cutting so say nothing) __________________ We don't crave what hurts... we hurt when we hope for something and it turns out to not be what we wanted...the pain is often our hope breaking... not our hearts.

07-07-2004, 02:50 AM	#10
SisterMidnight Jellyfishsting Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Is this heaven? Posts: 5,500	Miss Pink- not sh*te, very wise words actually. Richard- your friend does sound like she has low self-esteem and if she is a sensitive person and has been hurt before it may be wise for her to take a break from "relationships" for awhile. This may especially true if she has been physically or sexually abused in the past, which sounds possible to me. She sounds like she's asking for friendship only. Maybe what she really needs right now is true, supportive friends- like you. I would agree with Valerie, to gently encourage her to see a therapist, because like Miss Pink said if there is no intervention her condition could worsen. And maybe she will have to be on anti-depressants her whole life. Some people are actually biologically hard-wired for depression (chemical imbalances in serotonin, dopamine, etc., synapses don't trigger as they should) but if there is a trauma or other event that sets it off the depression will worsen, and sometimes medication is the best approach. Along with therapy and a good support network of family and friends (hopefully). Just be there for her right now and don't push her. Sometimes it can take years for people to overcome trauma and what seems insignificant to some can be devastating to the person experiencing it. Allow her time to grieve and regain her strength and sense of self. With friends like you she should be doing better in no time. [img]smileys/smiley1.gif[/img] (okay I'm off the clock now)