What to do

Hendrik · 10-22-2005, 01:40 PM

One of my flatmates, a girl from Austria, just got the message that her father surprisedly died. She was, of course, totally devastated and had something like a breakdown just a couple of minutes ago here in the library. My other flatmate (from Germany) was the first who embraced her and then they left suddenly. I was so overwhelmed, cos I didn't know what was goin on when I heard someone cryin' in my back...

And now I dunno what to do, if I come back home, how I can help. She didn't really say much about the situation with her father in the last weeks. But I always had this weird feeling that something horrible is going to happen, I dunno why. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time, I don't really know what it's like if you lose someone that close (and i might never know, because my relation to my family and other relatives isn't that close, like others, I have to say), so i don't wanna be a hypocrit if i say somethin to her. So at the moment, I'm kinda splitted...

Gatsby · 10-22-2005, 03:59 PM

if shes a good friend, then you need to be there for her especially now... i think give her space but also let her know that you care...

send her a txt or give her a call to say your sorry for her troubles and that your there if she ever needs you

Yetzirah · 10-22-2005, 04:28 PM

Yes, just be there for her. Let her know that she can come to you every day and night-time.
Don't feel obliged to talk with her about her family (situation). You could tell her something about what's in your mind - something that kind of distracts her.
About two months ago my 2nd grandfather died - so I had to go home again (I just came back to Vienna the morning before because I was at a baptism the weekend before - that shows how close life and death is) but anyway, I had to go back and I took the night-train. I wanted to meet with a friend of mine in my favourite pub to have a cider before I go. But then there came four friends, some of them I didn't even tell what happened. But they showed up, just to cheer me up and I felt so comfortable. It distracted me from the reason why I was going home again and it gave me strengh.

So, just to come back to the point - let her know that you care. Like revelate said...

Hendrik · 10-24-2005, 03:31 PM

Thank you.

I talked and listened to her, that's all you can do in a situation like that, I guess. She very much appreciated this, as I could feel.

gomezxico · 10-24-2005, 09:49 PM

That's good to hear Hendrik.

10-22-2005, 01:40 PM	#1
Hendrik Teddy Daniels Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Berlin Posts: 9,693	What to do One of my flatmates, a girl from Austria, just got the message that her father surprisedly died. She was, of course, totally devastated and had something like a breakdown just a couple of minutes ago here in the library. My other flatmate (from Germany) was the first who embraced her and then they left suddenly. I was so overwhelmed, cos I didn't know what was goin on when I heard someone cryin' in my back... And now I dunno what to do, if I come back home, how I can help. She didn't really say much about the situation with her father in the last weeks. But I always had this weird feeling that something horrible is going to happen, I dunno why. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time, I don't really know what it's like if you lose someone that close (and i might never know, because my relation to my family and other relatives isn't that close, like others, I have to say), so i don't wanna be a hypocrit if i say somethin to her. So at the moment, I'm kinda splitted...

10-22-2005, 03:59 PM	#2
Gatsby Eskimo Regular Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Dublin Posts: 5,809	if shes a good friend, then you need to be there for her especially now... i think give her space but also let her know that you care... send her a txt or give her a call to say your sorry for her troubles and that your there if she ever needs you __________________ "Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further…And on fine morning - So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." https://www.twitch.tv/simonjmusic

10-22-2005, 04:28 PM	#3
Yetzirah Eskimissima Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: in my own little world! :D Posts: 2,746	Yes, just be there for her. Let her know that she can come to you every day and night-time. Don't feel obliged to talk with her about her family (situation). You could tell her something about what's in your mind - something that kind of distracts her. About two months ago my 2nd grandfather died - so I had to go home again (I just came back to Vienna the morning before because I was at a baptism the weekend before - that shows how close life and death is) but anyway, I had to go back and I took the night-train. I wanted to meet with a friend of mine in my favourite pub to have a cider before I go. But then there came four friends, some of them I didn't even tell what happened. But they showed up, just to cheer me up and I felt so comfortable. It distracted me from the reason why I was going home again and it gave me strengh. So, just to come back to the point - let her know that you care. Like revelate said... __________________ Nothing to declare

10-24-2005, 09:49 PM	#5
gomezxico 2day is 1day away from... Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: DE Posts: 1,210	That's good to hear Hendrik. __________________ "Argh! Why isn't this working?! Come on, Eskimo Friends, what's wrong with you?!...........Oh, I'm not logged in. "

10-24-2005, 03:31 PM	#4
Hendrik Teddy Daniels Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Berlin Posts: 9,693	Thank you. I talked and listened to her, that's all you can do in a situation like that, I guess. She very much appreciated this, as I could feel.