Your lyrics

[oh2bepretty]

I have been reading everyone else's lyrics. I can here the melody for most of the lyrics here. I would love critique on my lyrics.


Skip the subtleties I need atrocities
And linger on the river of sin
Step on the backs of lovers
Waiting for none other
Than the best of the best of the clan


I aim to please if only to be sure of my purpose
I wait in alley ways to rob you of your intended course
And clever just for the sake of knowing what I know
Is no better than ignorant of everything and how the world goes
So if you are loyal to the cause of resurrection
Then look no further I can offer you perfection
But if all you seek to do is bring me down
Then its best and its time for you to turn this train around


Slowly slinking away
Stinking of moral decay
And wanting more than you can readily give
Faster than I know
You have far outgrown
Everything I planned for you
But corpses float as a matter of circumstance
Its just something that comes along with the change
And in that obligation
there is indignation


But I guess I aim to please if only to be sure of my purpose
I wait in alley ways to rob you of your intended course
And clever just for the sake of knowing what I know
Is no better than ignorant of everything and how the world goes
So if you are loyal to the cause of resurrection
Then look no further I can offer you perfection
But if all you seek to do is bring me down
Then its best and its time for you to turn this train around


Your words used to push me down
And I used to run around
In circles chasing my tail


I learned my lesson then
I know what you’ve become
And I cannot stand the smell
But corpses float as a matter of circumstance
Its just something that comes along with the change
And in that obligation
there is indignation
That you are better than that
That your elevation is due to acute perfection
But you have no proof
Only the rotting words
From a mouth much better served
Being closed


But I guess I aim to please if only to be sure of my purpose
I wait in alley ways to rob you of your intended course
And clever just for the sake of knowing what I know
Is no better than ignorant of everything and how the world goes
So if you are loyal to the cause of resurrection
Then look no further I can offer you perfection
But if all you seek to do is bring me down
Then its best and its time for you to turn this train around

[Nathaniel]

hey Tia,





I love it mate[img]smileys/smiley32.gif[/img]

[Always_Echos]

Tia, thats really good.


Nath, i didnt realise it had music too! Reply to my text honey, we got some stuff to talk about. Xx[img]smileys/smiley31.gif[/img]

[Lazy Life]

These lyrics came to my head whilst on the toilet [img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]


Generally about how beautiful the world is and stuff I suppose... First verse as follows:
Sleep, on the 4<SUP>th</SUP> of July
Weep, for the big blue sky
An’ Dream, of your head held high
<?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" />
Run, to the old man’s cry
Jump, for the butterfly
An’ Drum, to the beat of the night

Creep, for the baker’s bun
Sneak, for the pirate’s rum
An’ Leap, to the next Lilly, hun’

[The Pink Girly]

Originally Posted by Nathaniel

cheers mate - I am supposed to be going into the studio soon to record all of my new stuff (theres feckin loads of it) so as soon as I do I will make you a copy of the album

i hope this counts for your lil ol wifey back at home?! [img]smileys/smiley9.gif[/img]

[The Pink Girly]

Originally Posted by Mozza

Yes about twice a week or more.I am part of a collective of musicians called SEB who do a lot of gigs around West London - differnt styles in the group Jazz, Zoul, easy Listening and Myself which is basically contempory Rock/folk.


Chiswick, Shepherd's Bush, Brentford.


see www.291gallery.com for our concert on the 18th December 2004 which is in North London.

i used to live in chiswick. f**king love that place. miss it[img]smileys/smiley19.gif[/img]

[moocow]

taking to the moon

as the blue blues coming through to you,

walking to you

had some brew

say what i had to say as the star came to the moon,

disin barking you from me as the shine blew through

your hair

oh your lips,

seems so hard to say,

darkness between the sunny sun and the bright moon



oh what did i do

say words as songs so night and bright

waking to see that soft skin again

eyes loving look showing me its ok

as the night falls and the moon so bright

taking

to it again

[samuelle]

when daylight seems so far away,
the break of dawn's a hundred days
away from you.
memory of sunset fades,
darkness washes and cascades,
colors turn to grey.
a lack of ability to paginate,
to catalog, to separate.
andone more minute is long to wait
for earth to spin around, rotate
a few more degrees...


something something something. i have some sort of crippling inability to write a decent chorus. if i had one, though, it would go here. and then another verse...

[SisterMidnight]

Wow Samuelle I thinkthat's my favorite one of yours yet! It sounds like it's about longing to me, the kind that wipes away all reason and common sense, where everything else is blurred by desire and an impatience for it to be satisfied...



...maybe if you took something from the verses you write and try to distill the main theme or sentiment into something simple and striking to drive home the theme or messageof the verses for the chorus.. just a thought

[Nathaniel]

Originally Posted by samuelle

when daylight seems so far away,
the break of dawn's a hundred days
away from you.
memory of sunset fades,
darkness washes and cascades,
colors turn to grey.
a lack of ability to paginate,
to catalog, to separate.
andone more minute is long to wait
for earth to spin around, rotate
a few more degrees...


something something something. i have some sort of crippling inability to write a decent chorus. if i had one, though, it would go here. and then another verse...

these are really fecking good[img]smileys/smiley32.gif[/img]

[Always_Echos]

Originally Posted by Nathaniel

these are really fecking good[img]smileys/smiley32.gif[/img]

I agree! How fecking beautiful is that??[img]smileys/smiley32.gif[/img][img]smileys/smiley32.gif[/img][img]smileys/smiley32.gif[/img]

[samuelle]

[img]smileys/smiley9.gif[/img]thanks everyone, for your kind words! [img]smileys/smiley1.gif[/img]


this songhas been (and is)much harder to write than my other songs because it means so much more to me personally and so i've been trying to write without cynicism.


and melissa, thanks for the insight. your observations are spot on (as usual[img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]) and the fact that you received themessage i was going for really helps me feel more confidant as a writer. unfortunately, there are some things that cannot be reasoned out or sorted (e.g. emotion) and it is so frustrating to have to kind of wait out all of that "stuff" before logic can be engaged.

[Dade503]

Originally Posted by izze

dade really liking your lyrics i hav covered some themes similiar to parts of "just a boy" very deep and confused!

Izze many thanks for the feedback...Wow at last!!!..lolol....someone gave me some..Feedback that is..

[SisterMidnight]

Originally Posted by samuelle

[img]smileys/smiley9.gif[/img]thanks everyone, for your kind words! [img]smileys/smiley1.gif[/img]


this songhas been (and is)much harder to write than my other songs because it means so much more to me personally and so i've been trying to write without cynicism.


and melissa, thanks for the insight. your observations are spot on (as usual[img]smileys/smiley2.gif[/img]) and the fact that you received themessage i was going for really helps me feel more confidant as a writer. unfortunately, there are some things that cannot be reasoned out or sorted (e.g. emotion) and it is so frustrating to have to kind of wait out all of that "stuff" before logic can be engaged.

You're welcome [img]smileys/smiley1.gif[/img]I really enjoy your writing Samuelle, and what you said made me think of something Patty Griffin said in the interview after the Austin City Limits gig (which also reminded me of how Damien describes the songwriting process too) I won't transcribe it word for word but it was something like...


"A lot of it feels like waiting around to me... you find yourself being annoyed for like a week and you don't know why you're annoyed and then*blech* a song comes out...you play and play and wait for the muses to show up... and hope that they help you write something from your heart"

[The Pink Girly]

yeah samuelle they're great lyrics! (so not justjumping on the bandwagon![img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img] i really think theyre wicked) *crosses heart*[img]smileys/smiley17.gif[/img]

[2dollarbill]

Originally Posted by Juzzza

Sold


I've been away
I've seen the sun at dawn, on the ocean
I've seen the moon
look like a plate so high, in a cloudless sky
I've tasted things
straight from your dreams so sweet
I've seen a face to break your heart in two, cause it ain't lovin' you


and I have been right to the snow, it don't seem so white no
and I have been right to the sun, it don't seem so bright


but I am sold
on this feeling inside my heart
I am sold
on being inside your arms

am I not your rock
am I not your roll
am I not your soul


I've cried out
on a mountain and heard my reply
I've dived down
into the ocean so deep, that there is no light
I've heard a song
that raised the goosebumps on my neck
I've done things
I've had dreams, so many dreams


and I have been right to the snow, it don't seem so white no
and I have been right to the sun, it don't seem so bright


but I am sold
on this feeling inside my heart
I am sold
on being inside your arms

Amazing

[2dollarbill]

Here are some lyrics, written not by me, but my brother, and I think theyre amazing





Fallen.</span>


</span>


So… what
would you like to know about me,</span>


‘Cause
you’ve said everything</span>


That’s
written inside of your worst nightmare,</span>


Time after
time, you’re losing your way can’t you see that I,</span>


I’m like
the rest of you,</span>


So come
back again…</span>


</span>


[Chorus]</span>


When you’ve
fallen,</span>


It’s
alright until the morning,</span>


Crawlin’
around on your knees,</span>


It’s
alright I hear you calling,</span>


Why don’t
you say what you…</span>


</span>


Said to me
the other day,</span>


Before you
went and walked on </span>


Away, it’s
true, what other people say,</span>


The rest of
it’s all just a blur</span>


To me, time
and again, you’re losing</span>


Your
heavenly self, my love</span>


See you
another time, it’s easier when</span>


</span>


You have
fallen, </span>


It’s
alright until the morning, </span>


Crawlin’
around on your knees,</span>


It’s
alright I hear you callin,</span>


Why don’t
you say what you see?</span>


It’s
alright till the mornin’</span>


The mornin’
yeah yeah yeah.</span>


</span>


© John
Mealey</span>

[The Pink Girly]

Originally Posted by 2dollarbill

Amazing

so true

[Nathaniel]

hello i have been told to post this by my good friend Lauren (always echoes) some of you will spot that I have in fact used an idea from Tom Baxter's a day in verona but I hope you wont hold it against me. I hope you like it, this was written for Katie.
You, Me &amp; That Night<?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" />

together we lay now silent and still
save the sound and the motion of our breathing
the breeze outside the open window
causing the the moon to cast shadows, dancing branches across your skin
beads of perspiration meander the outline of your halo
time was lost as our lips embraced
our tongues waltzing to a song ive never heard
although my eyes were closed, lost in your kiss, my hands still traced
a path from the nape of your neck, to the small of your back
bodies rose and fell, skin upon skin, stuck and locked
with deepening breaths I breathed you in, I held you in
this was all I had wanted, it didn’t have to be forever
tonight would be enough
but then it dawned on me in harmony with the dawning of morning’s light
that I was falling for you
like the sunfalls forthe moon
I will never forget, you, me and that night

[ade and rice]

Here's one of ours... hey tink..... this can be heard on www.eskimofriends.co.uk in the media section, or live in the videos


Your Crime

If you had the chance to live today the way you left your yesterday
when everything was such a task seven steps just too damn fast
And laughing seemed like such a crime sitting smiling doing time
And while the world was rushing by


Have you held something like it could die frozen solid scared to cry
With every breath it could be gone dragon feeling stoned and numb
You raise your eyes and close them slow and in your head you're screaming no
And while the world was rushing by


And here see's your fate
Dance with it and take it while it waits
And here is your crime
Look at it and save your grace


If you had the chance to make your day the way you left your yesterday
When everything that you had asked seven steps just too damn fast
You laughed and joked of better times you looked around within your crimes
And all the world was rushing by


And here see's your fate
Dance with it and take it while it waits
And here is your crime
Look at it and save your grace

[Vienna]

nathaniel and ade i love them!!



so glad to see one of your own ade.....wish i could go listen to it

[ade and rice]

cheers darlin'


There's a few more now, but i haven't posted them yet!!





lol

[Vienna]

oh you guys....i found a computer with headphones and i am just listening to your crime....it is so beautiful! i love love love it! wish i could put it on my Zen!

[ade and rice]

what's a zen?? oh, and thank you!!

[Vienna]

oh yeh it's like an ipod but different make!

[Always_Echos]

Originally Posted by Nathaniel

hello i have been told to post this by my good friend Lauren (always echoes) some of you will spot that I have in fact used an idea from Tom Baxter's a day in verona but I hope you wont hold it against me. I hope you like it, this was written for Katie.
You, Me &amp; That Night<?:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><O:P></O:P>
<O:P></O:P>
together we lay now silent and still<O:P></O:P>
save the sound and the motion of our breathing<O:P></O:P>
the breeze outside the open window<O:P></O:P>
causing the the moon to cast shadows, dancing branches across your skin<O:P></O:P>
beads of perspiration meander the outline of your halo<O:P></O:P>
time was lost as our lips embraced<O:P></O:P>
our tongues waltzing to a song ive never heard<O:P></O:P>
although my eyes were closed, lost in your kiss, my hands still traced<O:P></O:P>
a path from the nape of your neck, to the small of your back <O:P></O:P>
bodies rose and fell, skin upon skin, stuck and locked<O:P></O:P>
with deepening breaths I breathed you in, I held you in<O:P></O:P>
this was all I had wanted, it didn’t have to be forever<O:P></O:P>
tonight would be enough<O:P></O:P>
but then it dawned on me in harmony with the dawning of morning’s light <O:P></O:P>
that I was falling for you<O:P></O:P>
like the sunfalls forthe moon<O:P></O:P>
I will never forget, you, me and that night

Yay!!! I totally love this poem, Nath you are a wordsmith! [img]smileys/smiley31.gif[/img]

[izze]

some of my poems n stuff can be found on my website


www.freewebs.com/volcanoesmeltyoudown


plz leave feedback on this thread

[samuelle]

Originally Posted by ade and rice

Here's one of ours... hey tink..... this can be heard on www.eskimofriends.co.uk in the media section, or live in the videos

it's beautiful! i just listened to "your crime" and "so we wait." i particularly like the vocal melody of "your crime" and how it just kind of keeps moving.

[tink-reincarnated]

Mmmm heres a song i've just wrote about a number of things going on aroundme at the moment.

Touched so deep but cut as much
Yearned to keep yet gave it up
Maybe accepted
But it's not at all understood.

She was led by a fool to there
Broken as easy as glass she remains

Longed to hold your hand in mine
But pulled away as though it was a crime
To hear that you can feel it to
But lost out can't scream out

She was led by a fool to there
Broken as easy as glass she remains.

I've wrote with a piano part and just vocals

[snowbaby]

i like those lyrics tink/ tink reincarnated u should put up a link id love to hear it.

okay i write the whole time, i don't seem to be able to put the more expressive poems thingys to music thou... so this is one i have put music to..

its called strangers.. i think

what is happening to us? why are we drifting apart?
i'm your friend, before im anything else, don't forget that now,

and i really really really just don't want to fight,
is there anyway we can put this wrong right?
cause you've become a stranger before my eyes...

i wait out here outside, waiting for my friends to give me a ride,
closer to you when we arrive, but no closer to the you inside,

and i really really really just don't want us to fight,
anyway we can put this wrong right?
cause you've you've become a stranger before my eyes...

i'll wait for the moment, i'll anticipate,
your words, your motions, you're leaving this

and i just really really really just don't want us to fight,
is there anyway we can put this wrong right,
cause you've become a stranger before my eyes...

my friend the stranger stands before my eyes....

that's it, id love to hear some opinons/ constructive criticism cause all my friends and family just say my stuff's great, they're sweet to lie